How to stop night feeding for a 9 month old?

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dd2, nine months goes to sleep well after a good routine, bath, massage, bf, book, lights out and music. i always put her down awake and she rolls over and goes go sleep.
But then she wakes sometime 10:30 - 11:30 and then every two hours (on a good night) through the night and is bf back to sleep. she is better than she was as she now accepts being fed and then placed back in cot with no fuss, or very little. this is marvellous progress from how she used to be but my issue now is with stopping the night feeds.
I need to drop them as return to work looms for me and she doesn't need to feed through the night (so i'm told) and i think o/n milk is dampening daytime appetite for solids.
But everywhere i look the advice is 'cold turkey' - which seems harsh and prob not the right approach for my willfull mite. Has anyone tried a more gradual approach? she won't take bottle, only bf so cutting down gradually tricky.
any thoughts?

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ECATLM, have you tried PUPD? My DS of 5.5 months was waking at 9pm on the dot every night and I just used to feed him. But then I decided that it was habit, not hunger which is possibly the case for your DD.

PUPD has worked an absolute treat The first night it took 45 mins, the 2nd 30 mins, the 3rd 5 mins and now he doesn't wake at 9pm at all. Prior to that we had tried offering him a bottle of water (he is bf but will take a bottle) but it seemed he would still wake for the water. PUPD was our only option and I can't recommend it enough. Worth a try I reckon!

Erm, what is PUPD? [stupid emoticon].

toadstool - "Pick up put down" where you pick em up when they are upset and put them down when they are calm - idea is you may have to do this lots of times on first night, less on second night until voila, no more night wakings (baby whisperer method)

Tried all sorts at 10 months as was getting desperate. tbh the more i fed him, the more he woke up. At 4AM at about 12 months after one awful sleepless night I eventually just left him to cry to sleep which took 45 awful minutes (this after weeks of leaving him with water in case he was thirsty. As he wasn't touching the water I too decided it was habit and that so much interrupted sleep was bad for both of us. Took a while for him to settle into it. After that night he started waking twice a night (instead of 3, 4, or 5), but i refused to feed him a third time i just left him to cry as PUPD just made him worse. Then when he started waking once or twice a night, i started limiting feeds to once a night and then by about 13 months he was sleeping through 11 hours + 2 hours nap in the day. Found it was a real bonus moving the daytime nap from 2 naps to 1 just after a v early lunch (thanks mnetters!) By bedtime he is really shattered. Good luck.

Do feel for you though. I remember it was an awful time not knowing what to do. Didn't know if i was being cruel, if he really needed it, if it was a battle of wills or what. Anyway, i feel 100% better for it nowadays and he is absolutely fine and we still get lots of bonding time as he's b'fed 3/4 times a day. You will get through it!

what time does your dd go to bed?. mabe ou could offer a bottle of water or mabe some forular milk (bedtime milk), or does you dd have a dummy at all?.

I have been trying to stop DD 9mo from feeding through the night and it seems to be working (touching very large piece of wood).

I just decided that I would restict night feeds to one and if she was just grizzling in her cot then I would leave her and if she was screaming then I would pick her up, offer water and a cuddle and put her down when she was calm.

First night I had to pick her up twice but she went back to sleep fairly quickly, fed at about 1am, then went for about five hours with one slight grizzle.

Second night couple of grizzles, with one feed about about 1am.

Last night put her to bed at 7.30 and not a peep out of her until 5am, quick feed then back to sleep until 7.30.

I think she has been waking just out of habit and is realising that it is not really worth it anymore!

send in DH

thanks for all replies! my working plan was to send in dh, maybe armed with water, but then thought as i'd only be lying there awake and anxious might as well do it myself but i can't help thinking that when she's been used to so many feeds through night it's unkind to just stop them - so i am v interested to hear of just one feed working well (congratulations!). i am also pondering dropping one at a time...
i am intrigued by the early single nap idea too. might try that one toddlerhip!
our extra complication is that dd1 and dd2 now share a room so either there has to be no crying (yeah,right) or i need to move dd1 into our room and put either me or dh somewhere else (no more bedrooms).
the more i read your replies the more i think i need to knuckle down and do either one a night for a while or just go for no feeds overnight at all. gulp.

My boys share a room (2.7 and 11 months) and when the littlest wakes up ds1 hardly ever stirs. Ds2 was in with us for 9 months though as he carried on nightfeeding and would not take bottle. The first time I refused a nightfeed (he'd been waking around 4am) he went back to sleep and after a couple of days he slept through. Kicked myself that I did't try earlier!!

Just try it and see. Pupd also worked and still works if he wakes, which is rare.

Now of course ds1 is getting up at 5am - ha! Hence I am searching the topic list for help with that little problem...Good luck!

We tried DH with water and cuddles with our DD. I did a dreamfeed at 10 to feel like I had topped her up then sent him in when she would generally wake at 3.

She did go back to sleep without a feed and the time it took to resettle her did get shorter after 2 long nights. Then for a couple of wonderful nights she didn't wake up to feed at all.

Then she got a cold, learnt to crawl forwards and started cutting her two top teeth. And we've been on hols for a week.

It has all gone tits up (quite literally) again. Bah.

Sorry don't mean to be whingey on your thread. We are trying an ealier tea so she has a bigger bedtime feed and once I have recovered from the stress of a nice relaing holiday we may try again.