How to move away from co-sleeping with 8 month old.

[MrsB902]

My DD will be 8 months old next week and her sleep has been terrible since moving her into her own room just after she turned 6 months old.

She went through a long phase of waking every 15-20mins from being put down at bedtime which lead us to co-sleeping purely for survival reasons! She will now generally sleep from 7:30-11pm ish then will wake every 40-60mins from there. I usually pop her dummy back in and shush her and she will settle back to sleep but then wakes again an hour or even less later - I eventually give up any time between 11-2am and take her into our bed. I’ve tried reintroducing night feeds for a few weeks which made no difference so I’m confident she’s not waking due to hunger!

Ideally I would like to move away from co-sleeping as I don’t feel like I sleep properly with her next to me and it’s also led to my 4 year old regressing back to how he was when she was first born, I’m assuming out of jealousy that she is on our bed.

I don’t want to sleep train (CIO or Ferber, open to gentle methods) no judgement - it’s just not for me. I just wondered whether anyone has been in this situation and managed to successfully transition from co-sleeping to having baby back in their cot?

Thanks if you read this far!

Have you thought about getting a floor bed in her room? I was doing the same, taking baby in our bed but now I go in the floor bed with her and ive gradually pushed back the time i join her, now usually 4/5am. Got the floor bed about 12 months. What’s her usual schedule? Wakes that often suggest she might need less day sleep and/or later bedtime.

Yeah a floor bed has crossed my mind, she’s only just turned 8 months so feel like I should give it a little bit more time in case it’s just a developmental thing but would definitely consider a floor bed when she’s a bit bigger if there’s no improvement by then.

She usually naps for around 30-45mins on a morning at 9ish, 1-1.5 hours over lunch time then a little cat nap at 4ish. I don’t feel like she could quite manage 2 naps yet but might give it a try to see if it improves things.

Trying a later bedtime has crossed my mind too but we tend to put her to bed at the same time as her brother which works well, particularly if one of us is out so the other can do bedtime on their own.

I’m living in hope it might just improve over time but if feels unmanageable sometimes persevering with settling her in her cot when she’s up so often.

Mine is 17 months now and is finally down to 1 wake about 4am usually when I go in her floor bed; feed her and sleep rest of the night. Her sleep has improved a lot since we ‘capped’ her night at 11 hours and since going to 1 nap but appreciate thats a way off for you. I’d personally be pushing to 2 naps for yours given she has decent length naps. Having more awake time before bed might help her stay asleep longer at night.

Thank you, I really appreciate the advice - I feel like I will try anything haha. I definitely think moving to 2 naps will hopefully improve things slightly so will definitely give this a go, she does tend to nap for a decent amount of time (I often have to wake her to make sure she will squeeze her next one in). It’s just tricky sometimes as she will often fall asleep on the way back from the school run which would mean a mage long wake window before her next nap - will give it a go though as don’t feel as though things could get any worse so it’s worth a try!

Seconding a floorbed/sofabed in their room. Mine is 15m now and we are very up and down. This week we had a night where I went in 3 times, but only to lie on the sofabed and hold his hand and he settled again, then I slipped back to my bed. Last night he needed a cuddle at midnight, then slept through til 6.30. Another night he ended up on the sofabed with me from about 3am as he just wouldn't resettle in his cot.

We went through a period of him being in bed with me from about 11pm, and have slowly moved into this new phase where I have absolutely no idea how the night will look, but the majority of it is spent with him in his cot even if I am on the sofabed and not in my own room. I'm hoping once we get a bit more into spring and he stops having a runny nose and cough that he will start to go through the night alone much more.

I think its probably really hard to stop at that age. You could transition her back to her own room but in my experience they get so many viruses at that age that they regress back every time they are ill.
I understand the reasons for wanting to do it but I would be prepared to think that you have it cracked, only to suddenly find it all going pear shaped again. Are you still on mat leave, will DD be going to childcare? Some babies get sick less than others but DS seemed to get a new virus every two weeks age 1-2, although maybe that was because his sleep was terrible 🤔.