Help, My baby is 3months1week. I have no routine. I have no idea when he will sleep or feed so I can’t plan anything. Can anyone advise on how to create a routine - What time does your baby sleep and how often do they wake up.

[BoyMumToBe34]

I would really appreciate anyone sharing exactly the hours they sleep as I have no life, my relationship is suffering I seem to be holding him 24/7 as he takes an hour to be put to sleep or just misses his window. I barely get round to brushing my teeth or showering. Husband works long hours and no other support available so need advice on creating a routine. Is it ok to leave your baby crying whilst you finish a cup or tea? I’m always suffering heart burn rushing my food or can’t finish getting ready because he’s crying (I have anxiety so maybe I’m extra cautious- not sure what’s appropriate)

My baby currently sleeps 12am-4am or 5am and then is up for an hour feeding then back for another 3-4 hours and up at 9am

But doesn’t sleep in the day time apart from 30minute power naps randomly and may occasionally sleep for 2-3 hours 6pm-8pm or 9pm is this normal?

They are going from 12-9 with only one wake up. That’s amazing really. Forget the days. Hand baby to dad, go to bed at 9. Do that midnight feed. Don’t worry about the days. Try to get out to a group or class (even if baby sleeps through it you are with people who will save your soul)

I recommend the Baby Whisperer method. It's a combination of learning to understand your baby's cues, and establishing a routine that helps your baby learn to sleep. It doesn't involve leaving your baby to cry alone.

Another poster mentioned the 'EASY' method - this is taken from the Baby Whisperer books, the first one is Secrets of the Baby Whisperer. Although the original author is no longer alive, there is a website and community.
https://thebabywhisperer.com/

If you decide to follow the method, the most important thing is to be consistent so that your baby learns what to expect.

There is a different set of advice for babies under 4 months IIRC, than for older babies. I used it when my DS was about 8 months out of desperation and he went from waking every 2 hours or so throughout the night, to sleeping from about 8pm to 5am.

At that age mine slept when they were tired and fed when they were hungry.

OP you might find benefit in an earlier wake in the morning, to get the baby's circadian rhythm better aligned. I'd try 8am and maybe move towards 7am, but then try and get a proper earlier bedtime like 8/9pm.

It’s not for everyone (and some people think it’s the work of the devil!) but Contented little baby helped me in terms of how to create a routine. You could just start with deciding when you want the day to start, then go from there.
Break your day into realistic chunks of time, it does sound as though your baby is sleeping well at night and has one good chunk of sleep in the day.
Go to a sling library to find a comfortable carrier.

Which is fine if you’ve a baby who gives good tired or hunger cues. My dd would go from fine to hysterical in less than a minute, she was then over tired, over stimulated or over hungry and trying to work out which one it was was very stressful!

Once she was in a routine she never got to the hysterical point as her needs had been anticipated and met.

I don't want to be cruel and I know it's tough when you have a newborn, but did no-one tell you and your husband that this was how it was going to be? For at least the first 6 months they are completely dependent on you and can barely sit up on their own. They also can't tell the time and their needs are changing extremely rapidly so there is no "routine". It's a season of your life when everything has to rotate around your baby and plans are just ideas. It doesn't last forever.