How do you put two lo to bed? Bit long but am interested

[easternblocmonkey]

My dp often does not come home until after bedtimes and I am still finding my feet trying to put both to bed. I have a 6 month old who is a nightmare to settle and a 3.8 year old who is a fantastic sleeper.
The ideal would be for the baby to go to bed at 6.30 so that I can have some story time with dd - who needs some extra cuddles and attention at the moment. However what happens is I bathe the baby while dd watches a bit of tv and then feed the baby while dd has stories..then I try and put the baby down and end up having to bob back and forth to our room to replace dummy, pat, soothe, rock. Poor dd is getting fed up with not having mummy to herself for a bit.

I just fed my youngest at that age, but he was very sucky so that worked for us. So baby feeding and me reading story to ds1. Mine is a 3y4m gap.

Thanks marmaduke - I think I will have to do more of the reading stories together rather than try and get ds to sleep first - I think I am just trying to do too much separately as I feel guilty about dd and time together

I don't cope very well at bedtime if DH isn't here. If I have to do it on my own I stick DS1 in front of Nick Jnr or set him up in his room with some toys for half an hour with strict instructions not to come into DS2's room. Then I settle DS2 and pray constantly that DS1 won't come in and wake him. Once he's asleep I go in to DS1 and spend half an hour with him to make up for it.

Its far from ideal and I find it difficult. DH is forced to come home in time for bedtime most nights!!

I'm lucky that my older 2 are excellent and settle really well - but when DS3 was that sort of age DS2 was 3 (now 4), and DS1 6 (now 7).

Routine went (something) like this (and still does actually lol)

7pm - bath DS2 and 3, take DS3 out and get him dried and dressed. DS1 would then get in as soon as DS3 came out.

Once DS3 was dressed I'd get his milk on to warm and go and wash DS2 (we have downstairs bathroom so perhaps a little easier to do this as I could always see them). Lift him out and dry him off - leave him to get himself dressed while DS1 washed himself and get himself out, dried dressed for bed etc.

Leave DS2 getting himself dressed and give DS3 his milk.

7.30-7.45 (ish) - all 3 would be dressed for bed and we'd sit on the sofa for a story. Just before 8pm, take all 3 upstairs, take DS3 into their room and tuck them both into bed, go and put DS3 in his cot.

8pm - come back downstairs pours myself a large glass of wine and have a ciggie

Mine are nearly 3 (DD) and 6 mo (DS) - DS is pretty easy to settle but I still find the whole bathing/bed thing a real juggling act if DH isn't here so I sympathise.

Our routine is pretty similar to maramduke's but thought I'd share my no-fail technique that I used when DS was much younger and really colicky/screamy in the evenings. I would bath them together, get DS out, get him dressed and leave him on our bed with the hairdryer left on (on a cold setting, on the floor). The white noise worked a treat and DS would just zonk out until I'd finished stories with DD and went to get him for his bedtime feed. I don't know if it would work for an older baby (don't need to do this with DS now he's past the colic stage) but it was a sanity-saver at the time ... oh, that and the promise of the large glass of wine at the end of it all!

mummyjaguar I don't like bedtimes on my own either but dp is self employed and has to get things done - sometimes not home until 10pm .
FAQ - you are lucky your two settle well - I really need ds to settle but he fights sleep so much even if I bf him to sleep he will wake the minute I put him down. He wants me to carry him around all the time - which is hard when trying to help dd get dressed, brush teeth and kiss good night

ALso with a 3yr old and a 6mth old. Do as follows---

6pm- both bath. Then leave 3yr in bath playing and get 6mth old out, dress him, sit him up with something to chew on where he is involved in the activity,
get 3yr old out of bath, in pjs, then, get both LOs' milk downstairs, leave 3yr old with milk and to play for 10mins, take 6mth old into bedroom (that they share), give milk, finish that, dummy, asleep, close the door. Now about 6.45pm.

So, then to storytime for 3yr old, in our bed. 3 stories, then he lies down to sleep, in our bed.... or possibly transfers to his bed, but by this time 6mth old pretty quiet, so no issue. Have finally taught 3yr old bedroom is quiet room, so he tiptoes in there and whispers, lies down, generally just a few stalling techniques from him and minor grumbles.....

Of course, I say all this as if it's been a piece of piss getting there. A couple of months ago I was re-considering the whole bedroom sharing thing, cos all they did was keep eachother awake, and 3yr old's constant nonsense about getting into bed was affecting 6mth old's bedtime routine... but FINALLY, recently, it has slotted into place and works really well!! (!)

By the way, I did not mean you should 'do as follows'.. I meant I do as follows!! Would be terribly bossy otherwise!!! (!)

easterm = DS3 always wanted to be carried around, but life didn't work that way in our house, some people may not like the idea of me putting him down even when he was crying, but I have 2 older children to deal with too. And for the last 2 1/2yrs I had every weekday evening dinner and bedtime routine to do on my own, and for the last 3 months every night.

I simply had to put him down, but carefully refined my routine to minimise the amount of time he was left crying.

Must admit the older 2 don't actually "settle" well, they whisper, and mess around for at least an hour after they've gone to bed - but unless they actually get out of bed or are making lots of noise I just ignore them

It's them that suffers in the morning if they're tired as they stayed awake too long LOL

Yes - I think we are all brilliant - thanks for sharing all this with me - think I am defo going to bath them together even though dd (3) isn't going to be happy about that one as she like to have 1001 toys in there! I really need to sort out ds settling ...

My DP gets in just as i come down the stairs having put 3 girls to bed. I swear he stands on the corner of the street and waits for the lights to go out and then comes home!!!

I have a 6 yr old with Down's syndrome so I have to dress, undress, change nappies, get her in & out of bath still, a 2 yr old and an 8 month old.

I put DD1 & 2 on my bed and put CBeebies on.
Bath DD3.
Put DD2 in the bath as I dry and dress DD3.
Then DD3 crawls round and I take DD2 out & put DD1 in.
Dry and dress DD2.
Take DD1 out and dry and dress her.

Take DD3 off to her room and give her a feed and put her in her cot to sleep. If she cries which is v rare these days I only go in if it's a distressed cry and cuddle her for a min. If it's not going to work and she's not ready she comes out and joins me putting other 2 to bed.

Hopefully CBeebies has a couple of minutes left.
Join girls on my bed and cuddle up for last few mins.

Take them to their room and read them 2 stories (they choose a book each), then they make me sing them the song my mum used to sing me, followed by Twinkle Star, then I tell them I love them and come downstairs.

End of that part of the day.

Other than now and then having to go up and tell DD2 to stop shouting out DD1's name, she's asleep now, or to tell DD1 to get down from the window (my friend tells me her DH has walked past and DD1 is blowing him kisses).

I have a year old DD and a 6 year old DS.

For a while now, I've been getting DS ready for bed, and then he goes upstairs and looks at a book or watches TV whilst I get DD organised, in her jammies and give her her bottle. I then put her down, and then it;s wash and brsuh for DS and then his bedtime story.

He is a bit older than your DD so can get himself organised.

they are both settled and asleep by 7:30 usually and we start the routine at just before 7.

I'm on my own through the week as DH works away and I find that we need to bestructured and rigid about it, or they're still up at eight and I'm at the end of my tether. It took me until DD was 9mo old to get it sussed though!

When ds2 was 6 months I'd bath him first. Get him out the bath and wrap him in a towel on the floor. Pop ds1 in the bath. Dry and dress ds2 and feed him. Then ds1 would get out and have "special time" (he almost always chooses to have the TV on). I'd then take ds2 upstairs and read to him, then give him the chance of more milk before popping him in bed. Ds1 would then get a further 5 minutes before going upstairs for stories etc. (they share).
Ds2 would be done by 6:30 ish and ds1 by 7.

so our routine hasn't changed so I will share even though Ds's are now older than yours.

6.30pm bath for both boys,
DS1 out of bath wrapped in towel to walk into our bedroom
DS2 out of bath wrapped in towel to be carried into our bedroom
pj's all laid out on bed ready and milk ready for DS1 boobs on standby (in those days) for DS2.
DS1 snuggles in towel, dries himself
DS2 is dried by me we often make it a race.
DS1 gets book from his bedroom whilst I finish off getting DS2 dressed.
DS2 gets boobie DS1 gets cup of milk whilst we read stories on the bed when DS2 has finished put him in his cot DS1 has a poo (everynight the same!)
I meet DS1 on his bed after DS2 is in his cot.
1 more story - Lights off, usually by 7.15pm
It is immensley hard juggling things. I have more and more respect for single parents each time Dh goes away on business!

I have dd 3 and ds 8 months:

6.15 all of in bathroom
dd in bath and washed first, then put in ds and wash him, take him out, dry and dress him for bed. Put him in bouncy chair in bathroom.
Finish off dd get her out dry her, pj's on.

6.45 - Put cbeebies on for dd, take ds to his room for feed and bed, usually out in 10 mins.

7.00 - Stories for dd and then bed at 7.30

If ds is unsettled then I just have to keep popping back into him and make it up to dd later.

i put all mine down together and have done since last one was, i dunno, a few months old? theyve been in same room together for a year or so. and are now just5, nearly4 and 2.5.

i do remember trying to juggle bath/bedtime with a baby and one or more toddlers... its a bit of a mare for a while there. cant give constructive advice as ive glossed over the details in my memory, a happy side-effect of extended sleep deprivation
but hang in there coz you'll find a way that works soon...

It will get easier! Bedtime here used to be a nightmare, but now that DD2 settles easily (14 months) it's not bad - bath them both together about 6.45, then DD1 (5) plays while DD2 has her milk, then teeth for both, then DD2 into her cot at 7.15, and then 15 mins of lovely cuddles and stories for DD1.