Please help me get my daughters (2y10m) sleep back on track

[alittleconfused1]

I posted the other day but didn't get any responses, I am desperate for some advice as to what do to about my daughters sleep.

She is 2y10mo old. Since moving to a bed from her cot last weekend she has got up at 4.30 pretty much every morning. Either crying for me or just getting up, turning the light on and starting her day. I told her she needed to stay in her bed until mummy came into the room, which she has started doing, but she just sits wide awake or plays and doesn't go back to sleep. This morning I lay with her, telling her it was still nighttime etc but she just poked and prodded me, sang songs etc. By lunchtime she is in pieces and the afternoons are hell. She outright refuses to nap or have quiet time, she fights sleep in the car and just cries that she wants to be home. Quiet time is non existent as she is a fidgeter and just gets up and plays again. I either use the telly or read her books after lunch for calm time at least but despite this she is broken by the afternoon.

I ended up putting her to bed at 5.45 last night so she had 11 hours in total, which I am happy with in itself, but she has a cumulative deficit of sleep I somehow need her to catch up on. She looks terrible and is pretty miserable.

I wonder if I put her down at say 7 she would sleep until 6 or whether she would still get up at 4.30. I am too scared to risk it as I can't risk her having 7-4.30 sleep. I don't know how to elongate her night or if not how to shift it back when she can't keep her eyes open after 4pm?!

I know it's common for them to rise early after switching to a bed, so not sure if I should just keep up the 5,45 bedtimes and hope she will eventually sleep longer, or if there is something else that worked for other people. I have a Gro clock I plan to introduce.

To be clear, it's her lack of sleep and impact on her health I am worried about, rather than her staying in bed etc., I know about Gro clocks, and walking her back to bed and quietly telling her its bedtime etc... I am just stuck in this terrible cycle where she has to go to bed at 5.45 as I can't make it any later, and so she is getting up at 4.30. I keep hoping she will sleep a good 12 hour night and feel so much better... but it isn't happening. I know you can't force a child to sleep, but she is a mess!

Has anyone else has this? How did it resolve itself or how did you resolve it?

Thank you so much in advance!

if you’ve got the gro clock set that for 6.30am and say you stay in your bed until then.
i used to give my kids one jelly tot as a reward but that may be frowned upon now 😂 but it worked fantastically!
dont stress if you hear her playing in her room.
then don’t allow naps but try to get back to bath at 6 then bed at 6.30/7.
she’ll soon re set or if she doesn’t she knows she rules around when the day stays for the household.
im sure a few weeks of slightly less sleep is not going to cause lasting damage
Just feels v draining for the parents! Good luck.

I wouldn’t panic yet. All kids go through this stage. She won’t be damaged long term by some dodgy nights.

How long did she sleep for before the change?

I’d absolutely have not allowed 5:45 bedtimes. Here that would have always meant being awake around 3/4am. I do vividly remember how hard it was to keep my eldest awake though; it took some very intense, low energy requirements 1:1 activities! Bedtime here was 6:30 at the earliest and wake up time slowly shuffled from 4am to 5am, where it stayed for a few months, and now it’s around 6/6:30 unless he’s got something going on and then it’s back to around 5am for a few days.

Remember it takes around two weeks to see any proper results from making sleep changes.

12 hours is quite a long time to sleep, she may need less as she gets older! 11 hours is a lot more common at that age, which means her wake up time is pretty good for someone going to bed so early.

Get outside for an hour around 5 to distract from that early bedtime!! I just had to always do my best to keep them going until 7pm bedtime

when they drop the nap it is the worst - my kid was always falling asleep at like 4/5 on the wt home from nursery and then it would fuck bedtime to super late for ages

it helped to take her to the park on way home and get het a treat or something just to get her home then draw out the bedtime as close as poss to 7!

she will get there x

5.45 is far too early, you need to push through til at least 7. Get outside at 5pm for an hour or so, I find that the easiest distraction! You can't force a 12 hour night, that's fairly unusual actually. Keep pushing to at least 7pm bedtime, even if she still wakes early for now, she'll adjust in a week or two. If she is happy playing in her room when she wakes, just leave her (and how do you even know, if she's quiet?). Keeping 5.45 bedtime is not going to work, she won't just magically sleep longer than she needs to.

Has she got black out curtains? It's definitely getting lighter in the mornings?

Thank you everyone. I have been putting her to bed earlier and earlier because she had a 6.45/7 bedtime previously but was still getting up early so having less than 10 hours sleep which was panicking me! She does have black out blinds and a very faint night light.

I will start with the Gro Clock today and push for a slightly later bedtime and hopefully it will reset, I like the idea of a walk at 5ish. Normally we do tea and then stickers or something soothing to try and wind down before bed.

I know she is up because a) she yells and b) I have a monitor. She hasn't worked out she can come into us, and I was keen for her not to (!) so was trying to go into her before she did!

4am this morning! She has been awake ever since. I lay with her, told her it was still bedtime etc., but she was WIDE AWAKE. I had put her to bed at 6.30pm

I did the Gro Clock but think she woke up to watch it 🙄