Will I ever feel human again?

[weetabix80]

In absolute turmoil at the moment over my kids bedtimes and sleep routines, or lack of! Don’t know if I need help or just to go easy on myself, absolutely burnt out!

In a nutshell, I have two girls 2&4 and a husband who’s away a lot so bedtimes are mostly on me. Neither girls have been good sleepers, ever, and neither will go to bed independently. They’ve always been frequent night wakers and early risers. I’m at my wits end, regretting not being harder on them, while at the same time reminding myself I’ve just done what’s best for all of us at the time!

I’ve tried literally everything and now I’ve pretty much given up and have them both in with me every night as it’s the only way we get any sleep!

any tips to get them to sleep in their own rooms / keep them awake in the car / go to sleep without me / stay asleep all night? Or if not, any reassurance that there’s no problem with giving up for the sake of some goddam sleep? Will it change? Ever?

It's that car nap that is trashing everything for you. Any way of avoiding it? Can you walk or bike instead?

Sadly not… nursery and school has always been a drive! another thing I wish I could’ve known before we moved house when I was pregnant 🤦🏼‍♀️ I blame myself for this a lot!!!

Loud music / nursery rhymes / singing in the car? Always a risk if you are car dependent. If they do nap, later bedtime so it's not a battle? Get outside for a run around when you get home, now it's lighter. I think you need to focus on one thing rather than solving everything - it's normal for kids to need their parent there to fall asleep, and normal to wake in the night. If you all get the most sleep with them in with you, I'd honestly just do that. This made me sad "regretting not being harder on them," - you have been kind and supported their needs, that will give them good emotional regulation and mental health in the long run, not leaving them feeling alone and distressed. you can't force a child to sleep.