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Original poster

4mo Co-sleeping to independent sleeping

8 replies

MrsWilson18 · 13/02/2026 14:47

Has anyone got advice to go from co-sleeping to sleeping in the next2me please?

My girl is 4.5mo. EBF. Refuses bottle and dummy... only the nipple will do!

We've been co-sleeping for quite a few weeks as it was such a battle trying to get her to settle in the next2me crib. When we co-sleep she has to be right up against me, she won't settle in her own space. If I move her over into her clear sleep space she wakes and will only be settled again with boob either feeding or just suckling. She's a little pickle. This means I have the worst night sleep most nights and my back is agony after having to sleep in the same position all night. My husband is also struggling sleeping on the sofa. He needs to come back to bed really but it's not big enough for the 3 of us. And we don't have a spare room for him to sleep in

So far I've tried

  • Hot water bottle before putting her down (removed just before she goes down)
  • Putting her down feet, bum, head
  • Trying a supervised nap with my dressing gown as a comforting smell
  • Daddy putting her down
  • Daddy sleeping next to her so she doesn't smell me/milk
  • Sleeping with my hand on her chest
  • Shushing/patting when she wakes
  • Putting her down asleep, awake and sleepy

She wakes after about 10mins max, if transferring her didnt wake her

TIA

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ExcitingRicotta · 13/02/2026 22:49

Best if you try to settle her in the cot before she’s completely asleep rather than trying to move her.
Keep trying with different methods, she’ll get there!

Francine84 · 14/02/2026 09:06

Co-slept with my EBF daughter until she was 4 months and then it became very clear she needed her own space!

I moved her to the next to me cot by feeding her to sleep in my arms or lying on the bed. Then would transfer her into the cot, at which point she immediately woke up! Then I basically climbed into the next to me cot with her and breastfed her in the cot (very uncomfortable btw) until she fell asleep again and then I gently rolled away.

Every time she woke up I would do this again, but the wake ups became less and less frequent. After a week or so we could put her in the next to me cot awake and she would just fall asleep in front of our eyes, it was amazing.

You could also try one of the Love to Dream swaddle bags, so they feel cosy and sort of cosseted. We had one with my daughter and I think it really helped her sleep in the cot.

Good luck OP!

Original poster
MrsWilson18 · 14/02/2026 16:17

ExcitingRicotta · 13/02/2026 22:49

Best if you try to settle her in the cot before she’s completely asleep rather than trying to move her.
Keep trying with different methods, she’ll get there!

We've tried this. She just gets so upset so we have to keep picking her up to resettle and it's like a vicious circle. My first daughter was put down awake and settled lovely by herself. Thank you for taking the time to comment though. Hopefully she will get the hang of it soon x

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Original poster
MrsWilson18 · 14/02/2026 16:21

Francine84 · 14/02/2026 09:06

Co-slept with my EBF daughter until she was 4 months and then it became very clear she needed her own space!

I moved her to the next to me cot by feeding her to sleep in my arms or lying on the bed. Then would transfer her into the cot, at which point she immediately woke up! Then I basically climbed into the next to me cot with her and breastfed her in the cot (very uncomfortable btw) until she fell asleep again and then I gently rolled away.

Every time she woke up I would do this again, but the wake ups became less and less frequent. After a week or so we could put her in the next to me cot awake and she would just fall asleep in front of our eyes, it was amazing.

You could also try one of the Love to Dream swaddle bags, so they feel cosy and sort of cosseted. We had one with my daughter and I think it really helped her sleep in the cot.

Good luck OP!

Ah thank you. I was thinking of trying this but didn't think it would work. Sometimes she doesn't even want feeding, she just wants to suckle on me. I'm going to try this tonight and hope it works 🤞🏻

I bought one of those swaddles but she's too big for them (she's very long) and they only go up to 6months.

Really hoping I'll be back in a few days to tell you we've made some progress x

OP posts:
winnerwinnertofudinner · 14/02/2026 16:46

I used to feed my baby to sleep, and then literally watch the clock until a certain amount of time had passed and only then put her down. I think when she was teeny tiny I waited 30 mins, but by that age probably 15 minutes. That way she was properly in a deep sleep and didn't wake up when I gently placed her down.

Francine84 · 14/02/2026 20:09

MrsWilson18 · 14/02/2026 16:21

Ah thank you. I was thinking of trying this but didn't think it would work. Sometimes she doesn't even want feeding, she just wants to suckle on me. I'm going to try this tonight and hope it works 🤞🏻

I bought one of those swaddles but she's too big for them (she's very long) and they only go up to 6months.

Really hoping I'll be back in a few days to tell you we've made some progress x

Show quote history

It’s worth a try, good luck! Does your little one take a dummy? That worked really well for us when transitioning from co-sleeping, I think she was so used to sucking on something while she slept 🤣

We got to the point where I could put her in the cot, pop the dummy in and she’d be asleep in seconds.

Let us know how you get on!

Original poster
MrsWilson18 · 14/02/2026 20:21

Francine84 · 14/02/2026 20:09

It’s worth a try, good luck! Does your little one take a dummy? That worked really well for us when transitioning from co-sleeping, I think she was so used to sucking on something while she slept 🤣

We got to the point where I could put her in the cot, pop the dummy in and she’d be asleep in seconds.

Let us know how you get on!

Show quote history

Unfortunately not no. We've tried so many times. I think it would help so much but she just chews them and moves them around her mouth with her tongue. And then gags. She won't take breastmilk from a bottle either. Proper little pickle x

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Original poster
MrsWilson18 · 14/02/2026 20:26

winnerwinnertofudinner · 14/02/2026 16:46

I used to feed my baby to sleep, and then literally watch the clock until a certain amount of time had passed and only then put her down. I think when she was teeny tiny I waited 30 mins, but by that age probably 15 minutes. That way she was properly in a deep sleep and didn't wake up when I gently placed her down.

We've tried this too. From memory I think they say to wait 20mins? She's been in a proper deep sleep where her arms are floppy but she still wakes either immediately or a few mins after we put her down x

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