Ok! I’m desperate for help.
my baby is 8 months old today and until 6 months old, he slept like a dream. He never really napped too much during the day but always went to sleep very easily at bedtime and slept 10-11 hours all night - he’s exclusively breastfed and I was aware of how rare this was. We didn’t do much to “make this happen”, he had a consistent bedtime from 2 months old which involved a bath or baby massage, lullaby’s and a sleepsack and then I’d sit and breastfeed until he fell asleep in my arms, then transfer him to the next to me cot.
Around 6 months he started to wake 1-2times per night but would fall asleep again fairly easily after a feed and this was very manageable- I assumed it was just a little phase and was not worried.
Then, 6 weeks ago, when we transitioned from the next to me to the cotbed (in another room), we had a night from hell and he woke every single hour, we persevered and continued the same time bed time and it didn’t get any better, it just kept getting worse.
I also found out I’m pregnant around this time with our second, wonderful news but very unexpected- I have read that my breast milk will have probably changed taste and reduced slightly so I was again, not worried and just assumed this was a phase caused by that and separation anxiety and would improve in a week or so. It did not!
Out of desperation to sleep after 2 weeks, we moved the cot bed into our bedroom and placed it where the next to me cot used to be so I could still place a hand on him if he needed me. Again, it didn’t help.
Some nights I’ll co sleep with him (something I never did before this) and this has happened again, out of desperation when it’s 4am and you’ve woken every single hour eventually you can’t even think straight and will do anything to try and sleep.
it makes no difference anyway, he wakes every hour to 90 mins when co sleeping looking for my breast, he wakes sometimes the same in the cotbed, sometimes even more frequently like every 10-15 minutes in the cotbed - sometimes he’ll be asleep in our arms, we transfer to the cotbed and he immediately starts screaming all night long. We also introduced formula for the first time a week ago, we initially saw a difference for the first 1-2 nights - he’d sleep about 2-3 hours instead of 1 and was settling much much quicker when he woke up, this has been a week now and I feel it makes no difference except that my husband can at least do a feed now.
so after lots of changes our days/nights now look somewhat like this,
baby wakes up- 7am
we attempt a nap at 9:30-10:30 based on his sleep cues - he will nap on me or if I’m lucky in the pram/car but never longer than 40 mins really.
then he might need another 1-2 naps in the afternoon, similar time (40 mins).
he’s happy and playful all day, doesn’t seem stressed etc he’s also on 3 meals per day.
bedtime; same routine, he still falls asleep at the breast then I can transfer him to the cotbed (I try and stay consistent with the cotbed at the beginning of every night) he usually wakes up within half hour of being put down - this looks different every single night, he’ll either scream immediately, within 5 mins or within 30 mins, I try and leave him to self soothe, then try gentle words or singing from the bed; finally and every time I have to pick him up because he becomes so distressed - I try and not offer the boob but he still needs rocking/singing to sleep - sometimes this works, other times it’ll take me an hour to soothe him and then he gets the boob anyway cos nothing else works. I go back to the cotbed and he wakes hourly, sometimes more until I eventually cave and bring him in my bed but he still wakes as frequently but at least will be put down.
some nights my husband gets him to sleep in the pram downstairs to give me a break and he seems to sleep for him in there for 4 hours.
please don’t judge as I’m literally on the edge right now, please don’t just tell me to put my baby in the cot “drowsy but awake” because I think we are well passed that stage now unfortunately and although this is the goal, it’s not going to work immediately- I am not comfortable letting him cry it out although I am interested to hear if this actually has worked for others?
thank you