Please help. 7 month old takes hours to go down at night

[CosyMintWriter]

I’m a FTM to a 7 month old girl. I exclusively breastfeed and we’ve been co-sleeping (she sleeps next to me on the bed) since she was around 5 weeks old.

She has never slept through the night so I’m used to feeding her a round 3-4 times throughout the night. Until recently she would also settle with a pacifier.

In terms of actually getting her down at night … up until around she was 5 months old I would breastfeed her to sleep or bounce her to sleep on a gym ball and she would usually go sleep within 30mins. However this seems to have changed dramatically over the last month and a half.

For about the last month it seems like nothing works. Our schedule is quite routine. We usually wake her up by 4:30 if she has had a late nap. Then she plays with either my husband or I for around an hour before we have dinner. Then after dinner we sit with her on her playmat for some quieter playtime. By 6/6:30 she usually shows sleepy cues (rubbing eyes, yawning, getting irritable). We then usually give her a quick bath or some nappy free time on the bed, then story and lights out.

Our room has blackout curtains and we have a white noise machine.

Once lights are out I usually then feed her while side lying. She will feed for about 30-40mins and I will feel her breathing slow and her arms get heavy. She usually closes her eyes and drifts off. Then she will unlatch and about 5 minutes later wakes up wide awake.

I try to let her resettle by patting her or sometimes leaving her to just thrash around a bit. This usually lasts for about 5 minutes and then she will start crying and screaming.

My husband and I will then try to either bounce her to sleep on the gym ball or walk around with her. With both methods she will ‘fall asleep’ … her limbs will be heavy and eyes closed. The minute we stop walking or bouncing she will wake up - again wide awake.

This continues for hours and when we are bouncing/walking around she will push, grab, fight against us while screaming and crying. She screamed so much one night her voice went hoarse. She also won’t let me hold her upright to sleep either. It’s like nothing works. Usually we manage to finally get her down by like 10/10:30pm after battling from around 7pm.

I’ve taken her to the doctors and physically everything is fine. Both the doctor and health visitor said it’s ’probably a phase’.

we’ve given calpol in case it’s teething or discomfort but it makes not difference.

does anyone have any tips? I feel like I’m losing my mind

This sounds unbelievably hard, and honestly you’re not doing anything wrong. A lot of what you’re describing really reminds me of overtiredness and an overstimulated nervous system, which is super common around 6–8 months.

The falling asleep and then waking up 5 minutes later wide awake is such a classic sign of being overtired. By that point their little bodies are exhausted but their brains are in overdrive, so they just can’t switch off. Sometimes all the bouncing and walking, even though it used to work, can actually become too stimulating at this age, especially the gym ball…What once soothed them can suddenly keep them more alert.

It might be worth trying an earlier bedtime and a shorter last wake window, even if it feels counterintuitive. Some babies at this stage really need to be asleep by 6–6:30pm, especially when nights are rough. Calmer, lower-stim evenings and less movement might help her nervous system wind down. 7 months is such a massive developmental leap .

I looked up the person who wrote The good sleep guide book. Her qualification was a 6 week online certificate. I think a lot of it is just bullshit. There’s no real evidence for wake windows either.

I suspect that if you give up trying to get him to bed at 7 he’ll still end up falling asleep at 10/10.30 and you’ll be a lot less stressed. You can then try and influence it earlier by starting the morning earlier and making his naps earlier.

This book is actually based on research and I found it helpful. https://amzn.eu/d/04KltdQX

OP, reading is great and without any friends/family around me for guidance I had to get my guidance from reading too. A lot of reading was so helpful and a lot of what I read was so stressful.

Every baby is different.

Do what works for you. Never mind anyone else.

The first year is so hard, do whatever makes life easier and more enjoyable for your family. Worry about routine from about 1 year old. It's like a switch goes at 12months and suddenly you get in your own grove and a routine is easier found.

Good times are ahead OP, you're nearly there.

Does she need to drop a nap? I would slow down the bedtime routine - bath ti bed being an hour at least, with a feed before bed.