9 week old will only sleep in arms or sling

[Breastfeedinghelp99]

I need some help, my 9 week old has never slept anywhere other than the sling or in arms, other than a fluke 2 hour buggy nap at 4 weeks.
This is my second, so understand it’s totally normal they want connection but I’ve now exhausted all help, husband is back at work and it’s starting to get dangerous - I’m so tired I’m regularly falling asleep feeding him.
Things I’ve tried - co-sleeping, put down pick up, drowsy but awake, side lying feeding (he won’t latch), the buggy to rock him (yesterday he screamed for an hour before I gave in and picked him up - I just needed a break) making sure he’s in a deep sleep before moving. He just hates being horizontal, any movement in arms needs to be so gradual or he will just scream. Only way I can eat, drink or do anything is if he’s in a sling or breastfeeding. Nappy changes are horrendous. He is mostly ok on his tummy though. He hates the dummy but on advice of the HV we are persisting with it to have a break.
I need help, I’m so so worried about falling asleep and hurting him or falling asleep driving my older child to nursery.
Any advice?

Have you been to the GP? It sounds like it could be silent reflux and he's very uncomfortable being lay flat.

Have you tried seeking specialist breastfeeding advice to see if you can get the side lying thing working for both of you? They might also spot some subtle signs of why babe might be uncomfortable lying down. My first port of call would be a MoMa or La Leach League meeting because they're free but if that doesn't help - and you can afford it - an appointment with an IBCLC would be best.

I came here to say that it's all normal etc etc etc but if he won't even lie down for a nappy change it sounds pretty extreme and seeking professional help to see if you find a cause might be a good idea.

Thanks, I will try GP again, at my 6 week they were dismissive saying it was just colic or a cold (I was full of cold at the time) but I disagree, it’s too extreme!

Thanks, I’ve seen a LC a few times (had a lot of BF issues which are a lot better now). The 2 I saw told me that side lying probably wouldn’t work until he is a lot bigger and to stick with the cradle/rugby hold until he’s 3/4 months. There were some general comments about the varying directions my nipples point which was less than flattering 😂

Sounds like a hungry baby to me, all ours once they were full happily went in there automated rocker chairs to sleep in the day time so if you haven't got one well worth the invest because they last for a long time age wise aswell and the motion keeps them happy

Please don't do this, babies should not sleep in those rockers / chairs. It's dangerous.
Have you tried putting a rolled muslin or blanket under your breast, when side lying? that helped me. I'd try GP again for possible reflux.

I hate it when they fob you off with ‘colic’. All colic means is unexplained crying. There’s always going to be a cause even if it resolves itself before you figure out what it is. In your case I’d be thinking silent reflux and would go back to the GP.

Thanks all! I have another GP appointment later today so hopefully they can advise

Thanks, will try!

Just wanted to come back and say that we started baby Gaviscon 4 days ago and I have a different baby! He will lie flat, sleeps for longer than an hour and doesn’t scream constantly - he’s just so much happier and smilier! Thanks for the encouragement to go back to the GP and if anyone else sees this, it’s worth trying it!

Yay! So happy to hear :)

Thank you for the update! Your baby sounds exactly like mine! It was uncanny. Was silent reflux the answer?

Sorry, late response. Yeah, seems to have been. We’re working on the Gaviscon dose as it causes constipation but honestly life changing since starting it. It’s tricky with breastfeeding but possible. He’s so happy and actually meeting his milestones now.
it worth a try!