Ds 11months old does not self settle or sleep through the night

[mummyrayjay]

I was reading the baby whisper but to be honest I'm not sure I want to have such strict rules like him never being allowed in my bed again.

He sleeps in his cot beside my bed from when he goes to sleep in the evenings untill 12/1 then wakes to bf (more like comfort sucking) and stays in the bed for the rest of the night. Unless I remeber to put him back in the cot, but I usally fall asleep.

It takes me ages to get him to sleep in the evening, bf/ rocking etc.

I sometimes wish i had more time to myself but i am now starting to feel that maybe he will just do things when he is ready as he has done with most things.

Last night he slept untill morning, not sure what time but was light outside. Then came in my bed to bf. I hoping this could be the start of longer sleeps and not sure I should force him to sleep in a way that is not comfortable for him.

Pick and choose - if there's a technique (say shh/pat, gradual withdrawal) you like, then try that, but stuff the rest of the rules. I only ever browsed baby books in shops - that way I couldn't get fixated on what they said! I did browse Elizabth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution a lot - struck me as much more relaxed and flexible - didn't do any of the sleep chart stuff, mind.

I tried to get no sleep solution from the libary but they did not have it in, I will try again.

I don't mind helping him along and trying to point him in the right direction for a good routine and sleep patterns but feel it is very hard work forcing it on him. He is very strong willed.

He wont do if he never has, it's something they have to learn to do. The experts do say that babies start to get emotionally dependant on things after they are a year old, like toys, blankets, dummies etc, and I assume boobies and mummies bed is inc in that type of comfort thing, so if you want to take it away then do it before then.

I always did crying but never left it long, and didn't increase the time each time. I put them in, then went in and laid them back down without talking or looking until they realised I was NOT getting them back out, or giving them anything worth stayiong awake for. I tworked quickly wirth DD1 and took ages with dd2. This is just what I did though and with dd2 it was horrible, but was the only thing that worked with her.

Do what you are comfortable with and sod what everyone else says.

Bandofmothers - what age were dd when you did this? ld you say it took with dd2?

Well dd1 I did it when I put her in her own room and imposed an actual bedtime at about 5 mths, but by then she was on formula. She was great.
DD2 was totally bf til 14 mths and so I bf and put her to bed, which was fine. The trouble started when I stopped the before bed feed, and I think she was about 12 or 13 mths old and was NOT impressed. It took weeks whereas dd1 took about 3 days. But then they are extremely different anyway. DD1 was a dream sleeper, dd2 not so much.

Then again I have NEVER let them in my bed as DH could squish them in his sleep and not even notice. They say the way you get them to sleep at bedtime is the way you will have to get them to sleep if they wake in the night as that is what they are used to. I never used mobiles or music boxes but I always had a routine. If you want to change what you are doing he will adapt but expect it to take him a while and give him time to learn the new bhvr

i don't think I could handle weeks of crying. sounds like hell

It was horrible, she went through another stage of it too when they both went to my mum's for the night. she was fine there, but then seemed to feel the need to make sure I was still there at bedtime's and would scream to high heaven's and call me again and again. but I htink that's just her. You could try dif things, like someone said and find something that works for you. And if he is difficult with it, then stop. nothing is carved in stone, follow your instinct, you know your baby. If I hadn't done it with dd2 she never would have settled on her own, she does now, and still calls and I have to pop in and let her see I amstill there and she pretends to want water, (she is 22 mths old)but she doesn't cry any more. Nothing else worked with her, just in, let her know I'm there, cover her over, maybe a shush and back out. Over and over til she decided it wasn't worth it as I wasn't going to talk to her or play with her. They are WAY to smart.I often wonder if I should have done it when she was younger, then again DD1 had a dummy and dd2 didn't, I often wonder if she'd have slept beter had I given her a dummy too, but you can't go on what if's/.............

Well i tried to give ds a dummy and he would not have it, I tried all types. They really are too smart..