14 month old bedtime nightmares - send help

[SecretSloth99]

We had a baby who would self settle for naps and bedtimes. Never slept through but you can’t have it all!

Last two months, bedtime has been hell and I’m at a loss. She no longer sits to read a book, just throws the books and wriggles off our laps, screams when we put her in her cot, doesn’t want to be held anymore but has to be rocked to sleep fairly vigorously. She used to snuggle in and put herself to sleep when she was done with the book but now there’s no chance of that!

she is on one nap per day, around 12 - 1:30 and I just don’t know what to do to make our lives slightly easier!

any tips would be amazing 😅

Did anything change two months ago? Is that when you went down to one nap or started nursery?

Nope nothing different! I know she’s just going to get more wiggly as she gets older but I dread every bedtime at the moment, me and my husband alternate the bedtimes but it also means we just don’t get an evening together because she’s waking up two or three times before midnight!

My first thought was wake windows, but your nap time and length seems perfect for her age. Assuming a 7pm ish bedtime?

We actually rocked my DD to sleep until she was 18 months. Then had to pat her to sleep to break the cycle, it was tough but we got there with relatively few tears.

The inly time we’ve had a similar issue is when she was 2.5. She had a few bad dreams so we cuddled her to sleep a few times, she then expected it and refused to go to sleep on her own. She because dependant on us very quickly, so we had to do the pat to sleep method again.

Sorry I’m not much more help. Hopefully someone with some more advice will be along soon :) good luck!

What time does she get up in the morning? Do you wake her by a certain time?

It’s so bizarre. I think it must be teeth or something! Last night she sat up multiple times and just cried but was still asleep, eyes closed, and as soon as I picked her up she calmed and just cuddled me and continued sleeping! Patting has never worked for her because she just screams!

just gotta push through and hope I guess ha!

What time does she wake in the morning? What time are you trying to put her to bed?

I always found the Huckleberry sleep schedules helpful to figure out timings and whether nap was too long :)

Between 6/6:30, and we always wake by 6:45 regardless to try and keep consistency with the routine

Averaging a 6am wake most mornings, 6:30 if we are lucky! And bedtime is always between 7:15 and 7:45, mostly 7:30

The nap seems quite short for 14 months. Have they recently dropped from 2 naps? How is that nap, where is it, could it be extended? I'm wondering if she's overtired by the time she gets to bed causing the bedtime resistance and early evening wakes. Have you tried bedtime any earlier? If it worked better you could always nudge it later after.

I don’t know if this will help, but we didn’t read to an infant that can’t even talk. We sang bedtime songs. 14 months and sitting with a book doesn’t sound very calming or soothing to me. We didn’t start books until they were saying four word sentences.

Also what is your full bedtime routine? Is there any kind of bath time? When is their last feed? If they’re eating or drinking milk/breastmilk too close to bedtime it can cause a stomach ache- so they wake up crying due to reflux.