6 week old - won't sleep unless breastfed........

[slim22]

........and wakes up the minute I put her in her moses basket.

This is really getting to me now.
I'm happy to co-sleep and I do but she is constantly rooting when she is close to me. So very broken sleep for both of us.

She feeds well and during the day can sleep 3/4 hours.

She settles well if somebody else cuddles her to sleep. But who is going to do that at night feeds?

She refuses the dummy.

Please help

Can you try co-sleeping for a little bit? You may find you start to sleep through her rooting (I did!!)

Would you consider swaddling or is it too late for that now? (Only mentioning it as i know someone who did that and swears by it - we never did it with ds!)

Is it worth you feeding her at night and then letting your dh/p cuddle her down to sleep?

I had that problem - my dd now 9 weeks. She has always been quite a sleepy feeder anyway and in the beginning I had to keep waking her during feeds. I used to use it to my advantage though at night time and put her down asleep only to have her crying 5 minutes later. I started making sure she was semi-awake when I put her down so she would grumble for a bit, but then fall asleep. I do stay with her make shushing noises, put my hand on her tummy to settle her etc, but prefer this to her falling asleep on me.

slim, this is perfectly normal, she's only wee and wants to be near you!
I think there is some sort of fantasy that baby should sleep happily on its own in a moses basket.
I have only the experience of 6 babies so far( plenty in some ways but obviously only a very limited database!) Only 1 of my babies slept happily in a crib on her own. The rest were sucky monsters and always wanted to be held when not feeding. I would spend hours trying to get them to sleep away from me which I realise now was a waste of time and upset the babies very much.
It will pass.

Oh and I always co slept , babies would feed whilst I slept, I found I got far more sleep that way iyswim?

my dd was like this too, I found a couple of things helped. I put her in a sleeping bag while she fed, so when I put her down fast asleep the cold sheet didn't wake her.

And I tucked a little white cloth under her chin and my breast while she fed, to catch any drips. If I left it by her when I put her down it smelt of me... so she still had the warmth, the snuggling of the sleeping bag, and the smell iyswim.

Also I kept everything very loud and bright during the day and very dark and quiet at night. She did cluster feed into the evenings but quite quickly started sleeping 12-6 or so.

I had the same probs with my wee one, we put a warm hot water bottle in the moses basket while she fed so it was cosy for her...it seemed to work for us.

Suburbandryad, I do co-sleep. It is the only way to get sleep during the night. You are right. I should just go with the flow.
My only pb is that when DH is away, 4 year old DS gets into bed with us and then I can not relax as I constantly worry he might throw an arm or leg over her.
I swaddle her too and it does settle her. Only if she wakes up, she will not settle without the breast.
DH does not do night shifts. I don't expect him to. He's working hard all day, that's fine by me.

Cathy tried that but does not work for nights. The clever little monkey knows I will give in.
During the day she happily naps in her big cot in her own room for up to 3 hours.
I do thinks she's got days/nights mixed up starlight. Must try and nap during the day.

Thanks all for your kind words. Kitty you are right of course. DS was just such a textbook baby, feed-cuddle-
sleep. O maybe I just don't remember what the first 3 months were like.

Scoobie, I do the cluster feeding from 5/6pm to about 9. She then sleeps 3 to 4 hours but thereafter wakes up every 2 hours.
How did you do it?

I know what you mean WTT your 4 year old, and that is a worry. Could you sleep in the middle and have one either side of you? Or maybe a sidecar crib for the little one? We had a cheap Ikea cot which we took the side off and pushed right up to our bed which worked well for a bit and solved the worry of one of rolling onto ds.

Failing that - depending on how big your bed is - could you bolster the lo in with a tolled up towel or blanket?

Got to get ds from nursery, will check back in later!

Oh I have all sorts of padding in the bed!
Bolster between DS and us, Pillows around him, I've got DD craddled in the boomerang pillow facing me.
Our bed has become a piece of very sophisticated contemporary modern art
Just can't relax though!

I guess it's just a phase and I should stop moaning and get more sleep during the day.

hi slim my dd was very unsettled into the late evening at that age, wanting lots of little feeds from about 6 or 7 pm right through to 11 or 12. I'd just park myself in front of the telly and feed on demand! She seemed to "fill up" all evening and then she'd sleep for 6 hours from about 6 weeks old. I appreciate I was very lucky!

We gradually dragged bedtime forward after that, week by week. From about 12 weeks old I'd express milk in the morning and give her a big bottle in the evening, and that helped reduce the cluster feeding a bit.

Once we had a "bedtime" we stuck to strict rules for the night - very dark, very quiet, and no going downstairs until morning. So she got a clear definition of daytime (=smiling chatty mummy, noise and light, toys) and nighttime (=v v dull might as well sleep).

Hope things get better for you soon

I completely agree with Kittywise, this is totally normal tiny baby behaviour. The idea of a baby sleeping peacefully in a moses basket is completely unnatural. If you relax about co-sleeping you'll find her rooting doesn't wake you after a little while.

Just invest in a decent sing, like a ring sling, not a Baby Bjorn style carrier, and carry her around in the day and sleep with her snuggled against you at night. It's natures way, and it makes for well rested Mummys and well fed, contented, secure babies.

Cluster feeding in the evening is totally normal too, I'd save yourself the hassle of expressing a bottle and just get comfy on the sofa with some nice snacks and drinks and feed and cuddle until you go to bed, taking her with you. Enjoy these early weeks, they grow up so quick, it doesn't last long and you'll look back on these snuggley evenings on the sofa all nostalgicly in a few months!!

Monkies

Also, I suspect the long sleeps alone in aquiet room during the day could be part of the problem, if you keep her in the same room as you she'll wake more often for feeds and this should help to shift her sleeping pattern around. Again, sorry to bang on about it, but a sling will allow you to carry her and feed her whilst you do stuff with your DS.

Have her between you and the side of the bed, not in the middle of the bed, a sidecar/bedside cot like SuburbanDyad describes will allow you to do this safely and so that every one has enough room, no matter how many of you there are in the bed.

Monkies

Hi,
Thanks all for wise advice.

Well dont you know? After all my moaning yesterday, she slept 9:30pm to 3am, fed and back to sleep until 6am at which point I kept her with me in bed until 8.

I fed non stop from 4pm onwards and swaddled her snuggly and it seems to work.

I am going with the flow doing attachement parenting and co-sleeping but I do prefer to try and have her sleep in basket at least for 1 good stretch so I can catch up on sleep too.

Greenmonkies you are right about letting her sleep near us daytime. shorter naps and more feeding will surely help set her bio clock .

Am definitely not in the mood for faffing about expressing to give a big bottle nightime.

1. I don't really think it works
2. Prefer to keep the milk stored for real contingencies
3. Love curling up to nurse all evening

Today, she had lots of little short naps and lots of feeds. She fed pretty much non stop from 4 to 9. Just put her in bed. We'll see what happens tonight.

xx

I'm Asia so we're off to bed now.

I was going to start a thread like this but Slim has described my situation perfectly!

DD 4.5 weeks old doesn't seem to settle that well after feeds unless cuddled and refuses to go back in moses basket after night time feeds.

She is only up at about 2/3am and then again at 5/6am.

She doesn't have a dummy. I cluster feed from about 5/6pm until my bedtime.

Because I have got 2.5yr old and need to get sleep and don't want DD2 to wake DD1 I put her in the bed with me and feed/cuddle her to sleep.

My concern is that I start forming bad habits of her wanting to be in our bed all the time.

Am I being ridiculous?

Like Slim by DD1 was textbook baby (or have I just got rose-tinted memories?). Up once or twice a night and happily co-operated in a 40 minute turnaround from waking to going back in basket!!!!