Best approach when 2 year old wakes in the night

[Qwerty8474]

Hi all

Would really appreciate some advice as we are struggling with 2 year old DS.

We have always put him in his cot awake, he will fall asleep within 10 mins. No crying etc.

However as of the last week or so, he has been protesing but luckily with us singing to him with a hand on his back he will fall asleep within 15-20 mins.

The issue is he will wake up at 2am and cry for us. We have tried to do the same we do for bedtime, hand on his back etc but he will get straight back up and cry until we take him out and put him in our bed

Unfortunately, since all this started he has slept in the bed with me (he will fall asleep within minutes again) as we just dont know what else to do.

Is this the right/wrong approach? What should I do instead? We have tried keeping him in his cot but like I said he will stand up and scream till we get him out

We have asked the preschool to limit the naps as right now he is falling asleep for 45 mins. When he is home with us he doesn't nap but still having the same issue with waking at 2am

When I told someone in RL about it, they said we will be giving him a terrible habit as he now knows he can sleep in our bed, I just don't know what to do

My son is exactly the same, goes to sleep fine but wakes up sometimes crying, I just bring him in with me. Sometimes he sleeps through, sometimes he doesn’t but he always goes to sleep in his own bed. My son is 3 now for reference. Does it bother you? I don’t mind bringing him in my bed and we all get sleep so I’m happy with it but if you don’t want him in your bed you could do a floor bed? I moved my son to a toddler bed and that helped a bit except I had to lie on the floor next to him and it got too uncomfortable and I lost patience with it haha. I’m thinking of upgrading to a small double so I can just get in with him in the night now he’s approaching 4. I figure it won’t last forever he’s only small and I’ll enjoy the cuddles until he grows out of it.

I would just but him a small double bed and hop into bed with him when he wakes but I need sleep!

He might be cold in the middle of the night so your bed plus body warmth will send him back to sleep.
Probably time to abandon the cot and get a regular bed that you can jump in with him rather than him getting into yours (you can leave once he in a deep sleep).

Almost 2 year old son here!
We brought him a small double months ago!!!
he always starts off in his bed and early hours either comes to us or I go to him! However in the past week he has been comforted by DH at the early hours wake up and then hasn’t come to us till 6am ish!!

The small double bed saved me and we are very happy to cosleep when needed until he chooses otherwise!

If you want him to sleep all night in the cot on his own, and put himself back to sleep when he stirs at 3am (which is totally normal, even adults stir overnight then roll over and go back to sleep) he needs to fall asleep on his own. It’s totally unrealistic that you don’t expect him to sleep independently at bedtime when sleep pressure is highest but somehow expect him to do at 3am. So no singing to him, hand on his back etc. You need to leave the room whilst he’s still awake. Or just accept the cosleeping. It’s up to you, and you know what’s best for your family! You just need to decide what your approach and goal is then be consistent with it.

Our DD used to do this then throw herself out of her cot. We got her a short single toddler bed. I can fit in it with her if I need to (no child needs a double imo!). We resist her coming in to our bed almost always!

We found she loved a "big girl" bed and got her new bedding etc. Also the thicker mattress cushioned her more than a cot and she slept better.

We also cut the nap around 2.5 as she wouldn't go to sleep till 10pm.

Other thing to check is hunger. We gave DD a snack before bed - banana or crackers - and that helped limit night waking too.

This is what I was going to suggest. There’s no right or wrong, just do what works for you and your child. A floor bed has worked well for my toddler: she sleeps there on her own and either me or DH will join her at some point. Dont have to lift in / out a cot either!

They’re little tinkers! If you engage at all they will keep repeating. Who wouldn’t want their back stroked and to be sang to while they fall asleep?

go in, say shhh and lie them back down again and every time they protest just repeat repeat repeat, it absolutely works but takes patience

I would bring him in to your bed or get him a bed and sleep with him. I love my sleep so whatever makes them fall back asleep gets my vote. Plus I love the fact that I'm their safe place. None of it will last forever, one day they won't need me.

My son used to do this..every night..we got him a proper bed and I used to get in with him. He eventually grew out of it, it's not forever and we all got a good sleep.

Our daughter went straight into a double bed from her cot when she was two. We just took it turns to get in with her for the rest of the night when she woke up.

In fact, we still do it now and she's six. I went through a phase of really resenting the broken sleep but now she's growing up fast, I really value this time I have with her. I'm so pleased we never made an issue out of sleep and have enjoyed the closeness of cosleeping.

Eh I'd leave him to it, I used to do it. At 3.5, he suddenly stopped coming through, and now he sleeps in his bed for 11 hours straight through most nights. If he does wake, he shouts for me and is usually back asleep inside 10 minutes. Be the reassurance he needs right now, it's pretty natural.

There's no right or wrong. Do whatever works for you and that you're comfortable with, whether that's going in his room to soothe him or letting him come in with you.

FWIW, when my dd was a toddler and started waking up in the night and coming into our room, I spent weeks leading her back to her own bed before I realised that I had just picked up the idea from somewhere that she should be sleeping in her own bed rather than doing it because I wanted to. After that, I let her come in with us and we all had a decent night's sleep. It's not a stage that lasts for ever.

Thanks all for the replies. It's true, it wont last forever. Sometimes I just need a little reminder that everything is just a phase. I really appreciate the advice 😀 we have ordered a bed for him so one of us can get in with him till he's asleep

All my 4 did this. When they had a toddler bed we had a cot mattress on the floor next to our bed they just came in and went straight to sleep. They all grow out if it eventually.

I had a spare bed in dd1s room i used to .just lie beside her when she woke during the night, i think she just woke and was a bit lonely.