At what age do you say "goodnight" and leave them to get themselves off to sleep?

[Fillyjonk]

Am curious really

I know some do it from very very young, and some never do, but I am trying to get a whether there is a developmental jump at some point that makes all this a bit easier

same as oblamov.
he never, not even when he was a day old, would feed to sleep, and when he was about a month old we realised he was much quicker going to sleep on his own, he also cried much less.
still almost always the case at 14m, but we're not dogmatic about it, if he's upset we'll go in. only difficulty now is, sometimes he's too upset/tired to be left, but he can't go to sleep if we're there...

4 months, after we cut night feeds.

about 6 mths. He had bf to sleep woke on finishing feed bit cozy and dozy sucked thumb and into cot asleep in minutes. Now 15mths he will have. Talk play and giggle, might need to go up and tell him firmly but nicely it is time for night nights.
off he goes. Stress free bedtimes I still feed in night if he wakes so self settling v valuable also for early morning waking. Sleep association made!

Day one - DD never cried when being put down, very lucky.

still waiting for the developmental jump....(ds is 2.8)

Hmm... I would say pretty much always but happy to admit my memory might be a bit hazy. She has had phases though when we've had to sit in with her.

At night (and day) dd1 - 7 weeks

DD2 at night -5 months, daytime still lie down on the sofa with her now 2.6!! ( I normally drop off as well as cuddling a child that is asleep is the most relaxing thing ever)

DS1 was a total nightmare - he took hours to get to sleep, I'd have to sit in his room for hours holding him until he was deep enough that I could leave him (hysterics to the point of vomiting if I tried anything different) it took a lot of work to sort it out. We just managed to do it by the time DS2 was born (so around 2.4) It was a bigger problem that it might otherwise have been, because none of my DCs have slept through the night until quite late either.

Consequently both DS2 and DD were expected to go to bed awake from as early age as we could manage, as soon as we were getting natural day and night routine iirc so around 3/4 months maybe. I did the thing were you gradually retreat from the room - I had a few nights reading the paper by the light of the hall, with a cup of tea. I found I could cope with broken nights if I had a few calm hours beforehand.

we always did bath boobie bed, sometimes they fell asleep at the breast, sometimes not.
By the time they moved from the breast last thing it was bath milk & story bed. from then they have never been asleep when I have left the room.
DS1 now gets an extra story after DS2 has gone to bed but that isn't to help him sleep it is to help him feel a little older than his brother as they both go to bed at the same time.
Daytime has always been for them to go to sleep on their own after a cuddle an kiss.

Ds2 (now 4 months) from about 6 weeks. He just settles himself, provided he is put down before he gets to the overtired stage.

Ds1 was later - 9 months, maybe. Before that he used to fall asleep when having his last feed, then I'd plonk him in the cot.

I fed/rocked all 3 of mine to sleep because I wanted to and wasn't bothered if it meant they didn't self settle for a while. I wouldn't miss out on those bedtime cuddles for anything.

Dd is 6 and goes to sleep on her own, has done from about 18 months, ds1 is 4 and also goes to sleep on his own and has done since he was about 1, ds2 is 17 months and dh usually lies in bed with him until he's asleep.

Works for us. All children are different.

From about 10 months. DD still cries a bit when she goes off, but not for very long, mostly just a protest. Used to feed her to sleep but she kept waking up in the night out of nowhere at about 9 months and making sure she went down awake seemed to help.

ds is 11months and still takes ages to go to sleep, he falls asleep on the breast or watching tv with me, very very hard work and I often wish he would selfsettle but never has so far.

When he was younger he would wake up any time I put him down to sleep even tho he seemed like he was in a deep sleep. So I let him nap on me during the day and sleep in my bed at night. Really bad habits bt when he was 6months and I was getting really fed up with this he then started staying asleep with i put him down.

So hoping he will learn to selfsettle at some stage. I do not think I can handle ccbut often think about trying it or another method.

Mine has done it from a very early age. A few months.

However, I put this down to luck. i fully expect any othe rdcs to be a nightmare!

Also still waiting for the developmental jump with DS (2.3). But then I haven't actively tried to push it as I just dread the crying. At the moment he goes to sleep really quickly if I stay with him and I value my stress-free evenings too much! Tigerfeet, what happened to unsettle your dd and how did you help her to settle again?

DD 6 weeks - once I reconised what her tired signs were, I started putting her down awake by herself upstairs and she seemed to welome it.

When she was about 6 months I started putting her down in her cot awake during the day and now she has two naps a day, no problems.

DS has been self settling just this week, he's 15 months. Previously he was fed to sleep, he has done this all on his own with no help from us. Still wakes in the night though !