20 month old - never slept well

Alice4875 · 2025-12-30T09:22:14+00:00

I feel like I am at breaking point with my little one’s sleep. He has never slept well, wouldn’t go in his own cot etc and still sleeps with us with his cot against the bed with the side removed. He usually needs to be held/someone to lie down next to him for him to fall asleep. I’ve attached a schedule as I’ve tried to record sleep for the last few weeks to see what I can do. Even at night when he is asleep he wakes several times but usually falls back to sleep after a couple of mins, might be asking for a cuddle/water etc (although he doesn’t really speak yet) so I have kept those as one block as I can live with those - it’s the huge split nights that are making me very tired! Any input would be lovely! We are planning to buy a floor bed for him in the new year to try that.

SideshowBobster · 30/12/2025 17:24

What are his naps like?

Original poster

Alice4875 · 30/12/2025 18:43

SideshowBobster · 30/12/2025 17:24

What are his naps like?

Usually somewhere between half 11 and 12 usually for 1.5 hours but can be anywhere between 1hr and 2hrs. He had a random short nap on Boxing Day where he woke up screaming after 20 mins and wouldn’t re-settle but that is unusual.

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Sorrell23 · 30/12/2025 18:57

Split nights are usually to do with not enough sleep pressure so too much say sleep. He’s probably low sleep needs, work out how much sleep he needs in 24 hours. 7pm bedtime is really early also for most children. If it were me id be setting a wake up time eg 6:30 however bad the night has been and capping the nap.
your split nights are forn1.5-2 hours? It suggests he needs that much less sleep in 24 hours.

SideshowBobster · 30/12/2025 21:04

Alice4875 · 30/12/2025 18:43

Usually somewhere between half 11 and 12 usually for 1.5 hours but can be anywhere between 1hr and 2hrs. He had a random short nap on Boxing Day where he woke up screaming after 20 mins and wouldn’t re-settle but that is unusual.

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Hmm, how long have the split nights been going on for? I am not expert, just a mum of a shit sleeper too, but I found the split nights with my son were down to too much day sleep, and as soon as I knocked his marathon naps on the head, he slept better at night.

Original poster

Alice4875 · 30/12/2025 22:04

SideshowBobster · 30/12/2025 21:04

Hmm, how long have the split nights been going on for? I am not expert, just a mum of a shit sleeper too, but I found the split nights with my son were down to too much day sleep, and as soon as I knocked his marathon naps on the head, he slept better at night.

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We’ve had split nights on and off forever! Never managed any more than 10 days without a split night. Usually 2-3 a week. My longest stretch of sleep was 5th August 2024 when he was like 4 months old and he did nearly 5 hours in one go. 😂😂

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Original poster

Alice4875 · 30/12/2025 22:06

Sorrell23 · 30/12/2025 18:57

Split nights are usually to do with not enough sleep pressure so too much say sleep. He’s probably low sleep needs, work out how much sleep he needs in 24 hours. 7pm bedtime is really early also for most children. If it were me id be setting a wake up time eg 6:30 however bad the night has been and capping the nap.
your split nights are forn1.5-2 hours? It suggests he needs that much less sleep in 24 hours.

Yeah I suspected as much. I’ve tried to calculate it roughly over the last 2 weeks and it seems like he is doing 9.5 hours at night and 1.5 in the day. So that’s 11 hours total sleep over 24 hours - does that seem about right?

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SideshowBobster · 31/12/2025 08:26

Alice4875 · 30/12/2025 22:04

We’ve had split nights on and off forever! Never managed any more than 10 days without a split night. Usually 2-3 a week. My longest stretch of sleep was 5th August 2024 when he was like 4 months old and he did nearly 5 hours in one go. 😂😂

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Sounds like my son, who I think just didn't need as much sleep as other children his age. He'd dropped to 1 nap by 10 months (as did his sister). I was going to suggest if it had been for a short amount of time it was likely to be a regression or a leap. If it's any consolation my terrible sleeper is now 3 and a half and sleeps a solid 12 hours, so it does end. Hang in there!

Original poster

Alice4875 · 31/12/2025 11:20

SideshowBobster · 31/12/2025 08:26

Sounds like my son, who I think just didn't need as much sleep as other children his age. He'd dropped to 1 nap by 10 months (as did his sister). I was going to suggest if it had been for a short amount of time it was likely to be a regression or a leap. If it's any consolation my terrible sleeper is now 3 and a half and sleeps a solid 12 hours, so it does end. Hang in there!

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Hahaha thanks! Hopefully eventually we will all get some sleep!

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Peonies12 · 31/12/2025 13:27

I’d be shortening his nap and doing a consistent wake time even if it’s early like 6am. He sounds low sleep needs, he doesn’t need his night to be so long. Don’t let him lie in to compensate for a bad night.