Consleeping mattress issues

[Foz1234]

Hi some advice/suggestions please. We have a beautiful SK bed that I loved but since having DD in October I’ve had terrible back pain and she sleeps best when co sleeping. Cannot get her in the next to me, nest, Moses or pram without waking her.

Following all lullaby trusts guidance on safe sleeping however the mattress in my mind feels too soft. The spare room has a double mattress that is firm but it’s absolutely freezing in there. We’ve tried it. it’s not sustainable.

The super king mattress in our bedroom is 40cm. Deep.

do we bring the double mattress into the main room on the floor( DH also doesn’t want to miss out on these precious newborn sleep deprived months!)

buy a firm mattress topper in same size as SK?

buy a mattress topper that covers just half the bed?

if we buy a toppr next issue is finding fitted sheets that go over to 50cm depth.

I don’t think it’s safe to put her cot mattress on the bed as she could potentially roll off that.

before DD these things didn’t matter but I am so paranoid about SIDS I want to do it right l. Also can’t think straight to make a decision as I’m so sleep deprived but don’t want to make an expensive mistake

Congratulations on your baby. 🥰

Moving the mattress if there's room costs nothing so try that first. You don't need a permanent solution, this time will fly by!

If that doesn't work for any reason a firm mattress topper sounds good - don't worry about fitted sheets not fitting buy a couple of flat sheets to tide you over.

Why is your spare room freezing though? You might need it in the weeks to come if one of you needs a break?

Hopefully your back will improve soon. Very early days!

Thank you, that’s a good point with moving the mattress- Might try it tonight.

we moved into the spare room last night but heating plus two heaters need to be on to get to even 18 degrees! Two outside walls and high Victorian ceilings and we suspect there is a hole to the outside under floorboards so that might need sorting!

It feels never ending- I feel so guilty about being frustrated but I’m surviving on 1-2 hours sleep and that’s with DH helping overnight and in the mornings plus working. Who are these women who go to baby sensory by week by 5 weeks, I’m lucky if I’m getting to brush my teeth in a day.

Could you buy a new firm mattress for your bed? I don’t think a topper would do it if the mattress itself is so soft. We co-slept but we had a very firm mattress.

edited to add cosleeping lasted about 3 years for us so it wasn’t a short term thing. At this stage you might not know how long it will be for you as it’s dependent on so many factors.

@Foz1234 yes move mattress ASAP, it's vital you get some better sleep. Please don't feel guilty! Five weeks and lucky to be able to clean your teeth is NORMAL. Sleep vastly improves everything so just prioritise it. Long term solutions when you have a bit of spare energy. Things will get better!

I'd move the double mattress to your room, for now, if you have space. You have nothing to feel guilty about, don't worry about baby sensory or whatever, babies don't need all that - they need your love, warmth and physical connection, and that's exactly what you are giving. Just a short walk outside will give so much simulation for a baby. A well fitted sling helped me so much for naps, so I could move around and do things whilst mine napped (like brush your teeth!). Ergobaby are great!

Thank you everyone. I’m learning nothing is the same one day until the next. We moved the mattress into her nursery and slept very well for a few days. We came away to my parents house for the holidays and she’s slept well in her pram bassinet!!

we will try the next to me again once home if not I’ll carry on co sleeping and if it becomes regularly then a new mattress it is.

all these micro decisions are hard work when you are sleep deprived!!