4 year old waking early every day

[jazzalice]

Morning,
I am at the end of my tether with my 4 year old. Since September, he has been waking up every day between 5:30–5:45, after a whole summer of sleeping in until 7/7:30 most days. He’s always been a good sleeper, since he was a baby, so I don’t know where this has come from. It’s a vicious cycle because then he’s tired and grumpy for the whole day because he hasn’t had enough sleep (we put him to bed at 7, but often he’s not asleep until 8/8:30. He also insists that I get up with him every day, not his Dad, and it’s just exhausting me. I know this might seem like a small problem to others but it’s really depressing me. Getting up in the winter in the pitch black every day is bad for my mental health. I also thought by age 4 we’d be over sleep issues etc. Any advice or solidarity welcome!

Put him to bed later.
Tough luck if he is up before 6 he doesnt get to dictate which parent

Gro clock and tell him he can't get out of his room until it's yellow/the sun is up. Try adjusting the times to 6 then 6.30 then 7 etc and reward chart
He can wake up and play quietly or look at books in bed but isn't allowed to come into you until it's yellow
Otherwise a yoto/tonies he can put on quietly and listen to in bed which might make him go back to sleep

People do have mixed success with this but we have had some luck with the owl gro clock thing. We set it early at first but gradually pushed it later and later and it’s on 7:20 now, my four year old will rarely get up before it’s yellow. We had a horrible patch of crack of dawn wake ups. The other thing that helped was moving him into a proper single size bed so he had more space.

Other than that though I usually say he has to be quiet and play in his room until 7. I give him a drink and a banana. Sometimes this doesn’t work as he will just cry/yell but I make everything extremely boring before seven. No tv, dim lights, minimal engagement, I just lay under a blanket on sofa.

He doesn’t get to decide who gets up with him, nip that in the bud now.

It's pitch black until 8 am here at the moment so pretty much everyone has to get up in the dark at the moment and no it's not fun. Honestly I think you've been lucky so far. Mine woke before 6am until he was 9! But, at 4 they are old enough to play quietly in their room until a reasonable time, he's not a baby. You need to make it clear it's too early to get up and not to wake you until x time.

It’s not a small thing; I absolutely hate it when my kids wake before 6, preferably 630! And while it’s dark, it isn’t pitch black until 8am.

He can take turns with parents, but you are being unreasonable expecting a human to sleep to an unchanging schedule.

Kids often wake earlier or later, for some the run up to Christmas is especially disrupting, but also it could be anything - temperature, development, routine changes, emotions.

Both my boys woke at 5.30/45 regardless of what I did to change it.
My advice is to just stop trying and embrace it instead. It's alot easier when you stop feeling fed up all day because of it. Obviously if they're tired during the day then that's a little different but if the body clocks are wired that way then it's just easier to go with it.
And I say that now as my 2 are older teens and sleep in til midday if able
It doesn't last forever 😊

It’s normal that their sleep needs decrease as they get older. A 7pm bedtime is very early, sounds like it’s too early if he’s not asleep for over an hour. I would do 8pm. Then get him
a clock so he knows what time it is- groclock might be better if he’s a young 4 whereas if almost 5 you could get away with a basic digital clock. Then tell him he’s not allowed up before 6, 6.30, whatever you want to say unless he needs the loo (go and then back to bed) or is unwell and do a sticker chart for sticking to it. And I wouldn’t be giving in to a preference for you in the mornings either.

Thanks for the advice everyone, I do have a gro clock that I used occasionally with my older son so I’ll give that a go.
re: giving in to him in the mornings, basically he screams the whole house down or cries his eyes out if his Dad does get up with him, waking up my older son and meaning I can’t get back to sleep anyway. So I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place!