Bedtime terror in 3yr old - please help, I am at the end of my tether

[mousemole]

DS1 has always been great at sleeping/settling himself etc. Normally I put him to bed at 7.15 and he is asleep by 7.30.
BUT we have just been on holiday and during the holiday we had a horrendous electric storm with terrible thunder and he was ( understandably) terrified. Since then he has been scared to go to bed because he is worried the thunder will come. Everytime I get up to leave the room he gets hysterical and the only way I can get him to sleep is by sitting on his bed and stroking his hair. I dont want to get into this habit. DH is away during the week and I have a 1 year old too so am getting utterley exhausted and distressed. Anyone got any tips ?

can you invent something that is a 'thunder monster' that will keep the thunder away and protect your DS, a bit like a dream catcher. It could be a teddy bear or a photograph of someone, anything that you think your DS will believe in. You then get you DS to talk to this 'thing' every night at bedtime, ask the thing to protect him from the thunder and make sure it doesn't come into his room etc. Sounds quite far fetched doesn't it but it worked for our DS when he was a similar age. In the monring you remind DS that the 'thing' had done it's job well as no thunder had come had it? Eventually DS stopped talking to the 'thing' at bedtime and it just phased out. Good luck.

thanks Mckenzie,great idea. I was also thinking of getting some 'thunder' spray - read about it somewhere else. Basically a spray of water that we spray in his room each night to stop the thunder coming. Might give that a try too. I am already dreading tonight.

Either that ot just stay with him till he he's reassured. Once he feels secure after a a week maybe of unconditional help to get him over his fear, you can break the habit then. Makes for two happy bunnies then as you are nto constantly fighting him (and he's not being naughty anyway is he really) , you can relax about it as you have a longer term plan and he is reassured knowing you will be there for him when he needs it.

All the tricks will help too of course but won't replace you just being there for him for a while.

Oops, didn't see about one year old sorry

Have you no friends or relatives that can come and help this week at bedtimes?

Or putting a cd player in his room and playing some relaxing music or nursery rhymes?

My ds developed a fear of kidnappers so I "boobytrapped" the room with dangly bell type mobile things etc and gave lots of reassurance for a few weeks until it passed. It does pass in the end. Thunder catcher/ preventer good idea. They all get terrors at one time or another. Last one was a death one and I had to sit outside his door until he went to sleep for about a month...very wearing so sympathize.

thanks all. Hullygully, it is reassuring to hear it passes ! Today in M and S I saw a toy 'intruder alarm' gadget thingy. I am sgoing to tell him it is a thunder stopper thing to see if that helps. Monkeytrousers, sitting ehre now I know he is not naughty but in the middle of it all it gets a bit emotional...

bump
any more experiences please ? Just had ridiculous upsetting palava over lunchtime sleep. Now feel useless parent.

It's just what they're like. Honest. The best thing you can do (in my experience) is just go with it. Just sit with him for as long as necessary, or lie down with the baby as well and let everything go to pot. The trouble is their fears are real and they can't help it. It is v upsetting and a huge bore but can only repeat IT WILL PASS. I have a 17 month gap btween my two and the first three years were a blur of horror. But it's great now! Drink more wine.

a thunder monster is great if you can guarentee there wont be any thunder! what if there is then the trust is all gone. Reassure etc. get the baby to bed first then spend time settling the 3 year old.

thanks all. Just put him to bed. He is not that impressed with the thunder stopper idea and we had the usual shinanigans (sp ?). I sat for a while and then said firmly that I had to go and get my tea etc and that I was only downstairs. I asked him if he wanted curtains open and he said yes. So the room is quite light now but hey who cares, I have been allowed to leave and he seems calmer. We talked for ages earlier today about thunder and what it was. I asked him what it looked like and he said a green train with white hair that goes really fast with a bang (!). He seemed OK but of course when we got to me leaving the room it all went to bed. still, it wasnt as long as last night so that is good isnt it. I will now, on hullygully's advice, have another (first one at 18.30) G and T.

How old is he MM?

You can buy cd's of thunder stroms you know. They are actually quite relaxing. Maybe a bit of exposure therapy might work during the day, if you listen to it together in the daylight - it comes - it goes and nothing bad happens?

MT, that's is a good idea actually, good thinking ! He is 3 in a couple of weeks with the most vivid imagination !

Can you try explaining to him what the thunder is - at its most simple it is lightning moving the air around. You can make your own thunder by blowing up a paper bag and then bursting it. The physics is a bit much for a 3 year old, but the bang is also caused by the air moving out of the bag. Same with bursting a balloon.

hi gooseyloosey, yes will give that a try.