10 week old waking hourly impacting mental health

[chasinghilltops]

Hi, wondering if anyone has any magic tips.

my 10 week old, for the last 5-6 weeks, has had colic and has struggled at bedtime. He screams for hours when he does eventually fall asleep he wakes hourly in the night. Sometimes every half an hour. It’s really taking a toll on my mental health as my 2 year old DS1 was the same and never grew out of it. He’s only just started sleeping better and even then needs help at bedtime and still wakes during the night. So I’m worried this isn’t a phase and we’ve got another challenging sleeper on our hands. DS2
was great when he was 1-3 weeks old only waking for feeds. I think now he would sleep for hours on us but wakes so quickly once in his cot. He’s not easy to get to sleep during the day either, having to go in the sling or his pram.

weve so far tried:

• white Noise
• sleeping bag (he can’t be swarmed any more cos he was turn onto his side. He did like being swaddled.
• Next to me cot attached to bed
• bedtime routine
• bath before bed

thanks for reading, any tips welcome

Hi - all of mine had colic. And woke up A LOT. By baby no. 3 we had upgraded from Infacol to another potion that you had to keep in the fridge and had a short-ish expiry date. Unfortunately, I can't remember what it was called - it was expensive, but by golly it worked.

This was 20 years ago, so someone out there will know what I'm on about.

Sympathies - as the first year is tough. My son -who used to wake up every hour of the night like a news bulletin - is now 6ft 3" and ironically works nights as a lorry driver.

@TMMC1 nothing is being confused - self harming, having intrusive thoughts, thinking it would be better if I wasn’t here any more and feeling incredibly anxious. I didn’t think I had to give details in my original post. I have a history of mental health issues which I’ve worked hard to stay on top of. Being so sleep deprived is bringing it all back to the surface. I’m just looking for a few tips that might help baby sleep, not judgment.

@springintoaction2 thank you - we are using Infacol but will see if the health visitor can advice anything else x

@TMMC1what a horribly unempathetic reply!

OP are you breastfeeding? This sounds incredibly tough. Are you able to speak to your GP / health visitor about how you’re feeling?

Been there op it’s so dark. And hard.
i took mine to an osteopath to check there was no pain or tightness from birth- it did help!

Wtf kind of response is this. I am speechless. OP is 10 weeks pp, with a baby waking every half an hour. She isn’t ‘tired’ she’s severely sleep deprived which is a form of torture. She also has a toddler to look after. And even if she wasn’t experiencing this extreme sleep deprivation, she is in one of the most vulnerable periods of her life for her mental health - PPD etc so your comment is actually so fucked up. You haven’t even provided anything helpful.

@chasinghilltopsI’m so sorry - this sounds so horrendous. I don’t actually have any advice apart from bed sharing which I have done with both of mine, and I breastfed them which helped as well as I got a point of basically not waking up when they wanted a feed.

Can your partner to some night shifts? A few hours? Give you a solid few hours to sleep?

So sorry you are feeling like this. Sadly it is common for colicky babies yo be like this and it is incredibly draining. Please speak with your gp or health visitor about the mental health side of things I am sure more sleep would help but don't let your mental health spiral.

I used feed the baby then get dh to hold them from about 9pm, he would watch tv holding and pacing with the baby till about 1am and in that time I would go and get a decent 4 hour block of sleep. After that I took over and could cope better with the rest of the night being broken. Dh then slept from 1 - 6 before getting up to work to work. Not ideal and no one was getting enough sleep but it seemed to be enough.

Colic is a bit of a red herring because all it means is unexplained crying and chances are there is a reason, you just haven’t found it yet. For mine it was linked to being overtired and when we started a strict daytime routine with scheduled naps it stopped. It’s definitely worth looking at daytime sleep. Could also consider seeing an osteo. Look at silent reflux symptoms and see if that might apply- reflux babies typically do not like being put down to sleep and you get silent reflux where they have the pain without the puking so it’s harder to spot. The good news is that it can be medicated. Hopefully whatever it is you’ll figure it out or baby will grow out of soon.

In the meantime and practically speaking I’d definitely be introducing a bottle if you haven’t already so you can do shifts with DH overnight and make sure you get a decent chunk of sleep. Baby is a bit young now but you could also consider sleep training from 4 months so could start doing some research now, there are gentle methods not just cry based ones, and maybe look into a sleep consultant.

Colief might be what you're thinking of? We started using that when dd was about 4 weeks old and having very regular wakes, and it took about 2/3 nights but really did seem to give her some longer stretches. We got it from boots but then got additional bottles online which were a bit cheaper

You’re a delight

When mine woke after an hour it was when they were overtired. At that age a 1 hour nap around 4pm led to a better bedtime.

At 10 weeks your baby is still in the 4th trimester and getting used to everything. It took until 12 weeks for my dd to go into her next to me cot, until then she would only sleep on us. If your baby will sleep on you then go with it for now, sleep in shifts with your DH and catch up on more sleep at the weekends.

How is OP avoiding dealing with the situation when she has come to ask for advice and solutions. Don’t try and justify your awful response.

@KnickerlessFlannel Yes, I think it was colief. Definitely worth a try.

Hi all, thanks for your reports about this thread.

We've deleted a couple of posts which we felt weren't in the spirit of the site. The OP's just had a baby and is struggling with severe sleep deprivation whilst also trying to look after a toddler - many of us know just how hard that is! She's come here for support, so please post with that in mind. (And thanks to those of you who already have)

Are you able to split the nights with your partner? At that age; my husband kept baby downstairs with him til about midnight and I’d go to bed at 8, get a chunk of sleep first; then we’d swap. I really wouldn’t worry how naps are happening; just use the carrier. Is cosleeping a safe option for you?

Thanks so much everyone for taking the time to reply.

I am breastfeeding but baby gets an occasional bottle. Unfortunately I don’t feel safe co-sleeping, I wouldn’t sleep for worrying about the baby.

My DH is amazing and is always on hand to help but baby will not settle with anyone but me at nighttime. The routine at the moment is I get him off to sleep, he’ll wake every hour looking to be fed and once I’ve fed him I hand him to DH who holds him until he’s fully asleep and ready to be put back in his cot. Sometimes if he’s not sleepy enough he’ll cry again and I’ll have to hold him.

it’s so draining. And my toddler is going though a rough phase at the moment with defiant behaviour, skipping naps and bedtime is taking 2+ hours. I just feel my life is battling with babies to get them to sleep.

This was me, it lasted a few years until he grew out of it.. sympathies OP, it’s torture.

I never had the problem with hourly waking but my second had colic and it was unbearable. My heart goes out to you and that with the night waking and a two year old to deal with, it's no wonder your feeling how you are.

Has your baby been investigated for silent reflux or CMPA. Both of mine had this and once they were on an amino acid and omperazole things really settled down. It might be worth exploring. Colic is usually always a symptom of something.

Off the top off my head: dairy allergies? Allergies to something you are eating? I would be inclined to shift to formula feeding—I breastfed and I am pro breastfeeding but you sound like you are at the end of your tether and some relief is needed. I would also recommend sleep feeding. Start feeding before he wakes when possible.

You absolutely must get several hours of uninterrupted sleep. The baby is better off getting a bottle of formula than losing his mother to PPD/psychosis.

I agree with @pikkumyy77 that it is absolutely vital that you get a few hours uninterrupted sleep every night. Leave DH with a bottle and go to the spare room or sofa with ear plugs. If he struggles to settle with DH then so be it, it’s not like leaving him to cry alone or anything- he’s still being comforted by a loving parent. There’s a reason that sleep deprivation is a form of torture- no one can cope without sleep.

I really feel for you, my son was the same. He was about 10 weeks when I called DH to come home from work as I was about to kill myself. I had been planning it for days, I won't go into the details, but thank God I got a moment of clarity and called DH.

Co-sleeping was the answer for us. I didn't want to do it as I had really bad PGP which didn't go away after pregnancy so was and still am in pain when I sleep on my side but I had to suck it up, dose up on ibuprofen and sleep

Waking hourly means baby is looking for you.

Buy a firm mattress, put it on the floor and done.

Dummy?