Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Sleep

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler. Need more advice on your childs development? Sign up to our Ages and Stages newsletter here.

Original poster

2 year old sleep issue

5 replies

Doggoconundrum · 25/11/2025 12:51

My 2 year old girl (3 in Feb) was an amazing sleeper from she was 6 weeks old. I was one of those annoying parents who didn't want to discuss sleep with other mums because she was so good.

However, now she's a nightmare. Over the past 6 months she has become more dependent on us being in her room for sleep. To the point where it takes her up to 2 hours to get over in the evening, and she may be up for 3 hours overnight. Co-sleeping isn't an option for us. Sleeping beside her is a distraction for her and I don't sleep.

She also has an 18m brother (13 months between them) and we both have full time jobs with a lot of solo parenting with my partner working a really stinking shift pattern, so life is on hard mode already.

She has a fairly strict routine, dinner, bath, books and bed by 7:30ish. We have tried so many things over 6 months - removing the floor bed for a toddler bed, dropping her nap, crying it out, baby gate on the door, lying beside her, gently backing out of the room in stages etc.

Nothing is working - she climbs over the baby gate or cries until we go back into the room, then Immediately stops, orders us to sit beside her, shoves her fingers in her mouth and lies down nice as you like.

She needs more sleep. We need more sleep. Any and all suggestions welcome.

OP posts:
BarnacleBeasley · 25/11/2025 12:57

How long do you wait before you go back into the room if she is crying? Your DD sounds more extreme than my DS, but basically we realised that the problem was that he knew we would leave the room when he was asleep, so he was desperately trying to stay awake so he could notice us leaving and prevent it. We ended up having to have a talk with him (not at bedtime) about how it was better for him and for us if we left, what the new routine was going to be, and when we were going to leave. Then we had to actually stick to it. We did 'I can' only come in 3 more times', and then after the last time 'I can't come in any more times after this' actually did just leave him to it. It honestly did get better quite quickly (less time crying) and he was fine in a couple of weeks. He seemed much happier actually because (a) he was not as tired, and (b) he didn't have to deal with the anxiety of anticipating us sneaking out, because we were honest about when we were leaving.

Mulledjuice · 25/11/2025 13:03

Does she still nap?

Have you tried pushing back the bedtime routine?

Original poster
Doggoconundrum · 25/11/2025 14:28

BarnacleBeasley · 25/11/2025 12:57

How long do you wait before you go back into the room if she is crying? Your DD sounds more extreme than my DS, but basically we realised that the problem was that he knew we would leave the room when he was asleep, so he was desperately trying to stay awake so he could notice us leaving and prevent it. We ended up having to have a talk with him (not at bedtime) about how it was better for him and for us if we left, what the new routine was going to be, and when we were going to leave. Then we had to actually stick to it. We did 'I can' only come in 3 more times', and then after the last time 'I can't come in any more times after this' actually did just leave him to it. It honestly did get better quite quickly (less time crying) and he was fine in a couple of weeks. He seemed much happier actually because (a) he was not as tired, and (b) he didn't have to deal with the anxiety of anticipating us sneaking out, because we were honest about when we were leaving.

What age was your DS when you explained it? She's the same, she's staying up to catch us out leaving the room. I honestly don't know how she can stay awake at this point. I'm not sure she will fully understand the process but I'll try this.

And you're right. The anxiety of working out how and when to leave the room is really taking it's toll. I'm trying to still enjoy the bedtime routine, but in reality I'm dreading nighttime. Plus I need time to do things, like laundry and have a shower etc

OP posts:
Original poster
Doggoconundrum · 25/11/2025 14:30

Mulledjuice · 25/11/2025 13:03

Does she still nap?

Have you tried pushing back the bedtime routine?

Yes tried pushing back bedtime. Gives me some time to run around and put a load of washing on or she helps me meal prep while her brother is in bed, but doesn't change the wake ups etc.

She's naturally dropping her nap now. Easier to put her down at bedtime, but still regular overnight long wakeups

OP posts:
BarnacleBeasley · 25/11/2025 14:35

Not sure - maybe about your DD's age or slightly older but definitely under 3 as he was still in his cot. It wasn't a super detailed chat, more a kind of 'everybody is getting cross and sad at bedtime and it's not nice for anyone, and you're not getting enough sleep.' Then we agreed on what the bedtime routine was and stuck to it. At that point it was something like 3 stories, talk about day, lights off, stroke his back exactly 20 times, then recite from memory a random Peter Rabbit story he liked.

I did also (and still do, aged 4.5) claim I was going to come and check on him when I'd walked the dog. I don't actually do this, I'm an evil liar.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page