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Sleep, what sleep?!

2 replies

DancingtoDisney · 12/11/2025 03:41

We are very much in the trenches at the moment - 1 year old DD sleeps well until 1:30ish each morning when she then wakes and doesn't really go back to sleep unless on the boob or brought in to our bed (even then she isn't settled unless permanent access to my breasts, otherwise she just cries and fusses until latched on). Our other DD, 4 years old, keeps waking in the middle of the night and won't go back to sleep unless one of us stands with her holding her hand. Tonight's one of those nights, I've been up since 1:20 and DH up since 2:30. One with each child, both exhausted, both working full time on about 4 hours sleep a night (if we're lucky!!).

I don't know what more we can do - we do a consistent bedtime with both of them, both settle great for the start of their sleep, it's just from the early hours onwards they're a nightmare. To be fair to the eldest, she usually settles quickly and doesn't wake again until morning (but is grumpy and difficult to get up as she's had a broken night).

Sleep training has never worked for us - tried it with both my kids and both screamed the house down until they made themselves sick. DD1 was a horrific sleeper as a baby, we just had to give her time and once she was about 2 she started sleeping better. But now with DD2 sleep training is even more tricky as she screams and screams and this then also wakes the eldest!

Aaah not sure what I'm after here. Just needed to shout into the internet because I'm so frustrated and exhausted!! Thanks for reading 😴

OP posts:
rainbowsandraspberrygin · 13/11/2025 13:30

Hi OP. I feel your pain!!! Been there and it’s so tough. The sleep deprivation is torture isn’t it.

I don’t have may suggestions because for us nothing worked really. Sorry!

But for the 4 year old can you leave some white noise or a low playing audio on to bridge that time period?

Does 4yr old have a good snack before bed that will fill her up? Like some warm stodgy weetabix or something? Like an hour before?

for the 1 year old I’d almost suck it up and let them come in and latch. If it helps you sleep. Even split rooms for a while so you can all sleep. So you with 1yr old and dad with 4yr old. Then as soon as 4 stirs he’s right there - maybe break the cycle.

only other thought with 1yr old is to offer a drink of milk (cows or expressed) and a top that smells like you. But from experience they just want you!!!

Sorry this probably isn’t much help. Some kids just need contact and love.

we’ve never sleep trained in the traditional sense. We started but was too traumatic for all. And I know it’s ironic but so so tired to follow it through.

you just need sleep 😴

NuffSaidSam · 13/11/2025 15:01

I would revisit sleep training with a trainer. That level of sleep deprivation isn't sustainable. Better that they cry for a couple of nights than you and DH go insane!

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