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Original poster

do i just need to accept ill never sleep again

10 replies

outfitrepeta · 09/10/2025 22:32

hello !

i have an (as of today!) one month old! yay

im finding it difficult to think about my sleep. since he was born he’s settled into a night time routine of sleeping at least one stint for 4 hours and then he’ll usually do another stint of 1.5-4 hours and then when it gets past 4am once he wakes up he’s either up every 10-45 minutes until 9am usually. i feel incredibly lucky i think he does quite well!

should i be trying to catch up on sleep or do i just accept that i can manage enough with the sleep im getting at night? trying to fit naps in alongside housework, bonding with baby, maintaining friendships and doing stuff that makes me feel human feels impossible.

wondering what everyone else ended up doing! am i over thinking it and just need to go with the flow?

OP posts:
TheendofmrY · 09/10/2025 22:39

Just do whatever it takes to survive and when that’s not working any more try something else! It sounds like you’re doing great, just take it as it comes and if you need to and are able to, catch up on sleep when you can. Sometimes you’ll need to, and the housework will just have to remain undone, other times you’ll get enough to muddle through. The only thing you can count on IME is that just when you think you’ve they’ve hit a routine everything will change!

stargirl1701 · 09/10/2025 22:39

I did not do much housework with a 4 week old! Just focussed on feeding the baby and resting for 12 weeks. That’s enough. DH was able to keep the house ticking along after work. MIL came for a few weeks with DD2 so she could take DD1.

Fluffyowl00 · 09/10/2025 22:49

Honestly- whoever said ‘sleep when the baby sleeps’ deserves a punch. Who thinks: ‘ooh, it’s 10.45am, my baby has gone to sleep for an unquantifiable amount of time …maybe 20 mins.. maybe 4 hours. I think what I’ll do is go to sleep and then be woken from a deep sleep suddenly by my inconsolable baby’? It’s so hard, isn’t it?! Every time I thought …ooh I’ll have a nap she’d be awake in 20 mins. Every time I though ‘no you won’t trick my this time’ It’d be a 4 hour epic sleep and I’d be kicking myself!

I was on such heightened alert that the best thing was when someone would take well fed baby for a 2 hour walk with promises not to come back unless absolutely inconsolable. Then that’s time to have a shower and rest in bed. The only way I survived the teething period!

Good luck! It’ll soon be a hazy lovely memory.

Original poster
outfitrepeta · 10/10/2025 10:46

Fluffyowl00 · 09/10/2025 22:49

Honestly- whoever said ‘sleep when the baby sleeps’ deserves a punch. Who thinks: ‘ooh, it’s 10.45am, my baby has gone to sleep for an unquantifiable amount of time …maybe 20 mins.. maybe 4 hours. I think what I’ll do is go to sleep and then be woken from a deep sleep suddenly by my inconsolable baby’? It’s so hard, isn’t it?! Every time I thought …ooh I’ll have a nap she’d be awake in 20 mins. Every time I though ‘no you won’t trick my this time’ It’d be a 4 hour epic sleep and I’d be kicking myself!

I was on such heightened alert that the best thing was when someone would take well fed baby for a 2 hour walk with promises not to come back unless absolutely inconsolable. Then that’s time to have a shower and rest in bed. The only way I survived the teething period!

Good luck! It’ll soon be a hazy lovely memory.

yes! it just made me miserable every time i tried to sleep and i was up every 20 minutes and my time would’ve been better spent and doing literally anything else lol

im genuinely in shock right now - can’t believe we haven’t thought of sending my husband on a walk alone. i feel so stupid! he loves his pram and knocks out as soon as he feels we’re on the gravel path outside. We’ve been for a good two hour walk before without a peep from him until we got through the front door. thank you so much haha

OP posts:
stargirl1701 · 10/10/2025 17:14

I learned that it was time for rest rather than sleep. No phone. Just lie down and rest. That lesson has been repeated into menopause!

miltoncurtis · 15/10/2025 11:21

That “sleep when the baby sleeps” advice sounds great in theory, but the reality is a whole different story. You’re doing amazing—surviving those unpredictable naps is a true parenting skill! Hang in there, it really does become a sweet blur before you know it.
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BastetBaby · 17/10/2025 10:51

One thing that helped me was hearing (from a sleep expert on a podcast) that rest is nearly as good as sleep. So if you can't sleep, try to just be still and calm.

Also - your body adapts to less sleep and it becomes easier to cope.

Peonies12 · 18/10/2025 20:22

Trust me, leave the friendships and housework for now. Get ready meals. Get a cleaner if you can. And think about it as cumulative sleep - rather than not getting a long stretch. And kindly - get used to it - most babies dont sleep through the night til well past their 1st birthday.

catsnore · 18/10/2025 20:56

I developed the ability to cat nap on the sofa, it would never be for long but just those short moments of rest would help me get through to the next night. It wasn’t really sleep, just lie down and drift for ten minutes before the crying started again 😂

it will get better I promise. Then worse. Then better again.

Original poster
outfitrepeta · 18/10/2025 21:09

Peonies12 · 18/10/2025 20:22

Trust me, leave the friendships and housework for now. Get ready meals. Get a cleaner if you can. And think about it as cumulative sleep - rather than not getting a long stretch. And kindly - get used to it - most babies dont sleep through the night til well past their 1st birthday.

maths has never been my strong suit, but i think i’m getting a solid 6 hours cumulative per 24 hours - which is more than some get!

im trying to act like this will be my life for the next 18 years - just so whenever he does decide it’s time to start sleeping for 6+ hours uninterrupted i can be extra grateful. and until then whatever i get is my new normal 💗

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