Can controlled crying work with a 13 month old in a bed/mattress on floor?

[Whitty]

Someone please help me

My baby has always been a terrible sleeper. I am BF which I think is contributing hugely to a terrible ordeal night after night of crap sleep. Sometimes when he wakes me up (I sleep in his bed ) I am shaking cos I am that tired. I don't like going to bed early cos I want to have time on my own as he is so demanding of me all the time cos, like me, he is tired most of the time.

I honestly have had enough and need to sort it out. My OH is a bit reluctant to get involved cos of work, which I can understand, so I need to do something on my own.

DS2 currently sleeps on a mattress on the floor, underneath my 3 year old (midsleeper bed) as we thought that getting him out of the cot may help, as he is quite active when he sleeps and could have done with the extra space, but it has made bugger all eff difference. He can have good nights and bad nights, good being waking up perhaps 4 times in 12 hours, bad being double this, possibly more. I normally BF him back to sleep (I know..... ) but occasionally he does settle with a pat and shush.

I need to know how I can get him to sleep a damn site better than what he is at the moment, for his own and my welfare.

Please help! How can I do cc with him in a bed? Can anyone suggest anything?
x

Look, there is no need for you to feel about feeding back to sleep,
it's a natural effect BF has on babies so why fight it?! We didn't either.

I understand you have not done any kind of sleep training with your lo so far?

If you are determined to address this situation instead of riding it out (big question!)
then set aside a week, do your research on sleep training techniques (including but not limited to CC)
and steel yourself for some serious protest crying!

Thanks DaddyJ for responding to my plea!
I didn't realise there was many other sleep techniques so will check them out thanks.

I am in 2 minds whether to do anything, I'm not keen on letting him cry cos he seriously could go for hours and hours then gets himself in a right state and it would probably take him the same time to calm down again, and the only other thing I heard about was controlled crying but I will have a search thanks.

Oh, I never said how old he is, he is 13 and a half months and has been pretty much like it now for the whole time! (Just incase anyone else has any ideas....)

Last night in 12 hours, I was probably up around 9 times, 4 or 5 during Big Brother and the rest after I had gone to bed.

Kids........

Are you enjoying breast feeding? Can you imagine not ever feeding him again?

I only ask because going "cold turkey" can work - just by stopping feeding.

I do think if you want to feed him during the day but not at night then that's a big challenge for him to deal with - IMO at his age he prob won't get the difference between night/day feeds - and think you've gone all random!

There are people who have managed with slightly older children by telling them their breast have "gone to sleep" and won't work again until morning! But maybe 13months is a bit young for that.

That said you can do any sort of sleep training on a mattress on the floor - needs a stairgate on the door and endless patience as you lead him back to the mattress saying "night night; see you in the morning" and walk away back to your own bed.

Good luck

I'd really recommend the no-cry sleep solution by Elizabeth Pantley. It has lots of other suggestions for helping with sleep without doing controlled crying. It may not fix things completely, but it's a good place to start IMO.

Gagarin, I have a friend who told her 2 year old there was no more, and that worked for her! I enjoy feeding him, and have loved it, and I think that if he wasn't so demanding of me all the time, I would probably want to feed him for another 6 months or so, but because he just clings to me all the time, I'm finding it all a bit much, considering I don't even get a break when I go to sleep! When I am not around he isn't like it at all, so its not like he screams when I go to work etc, he knows I'm gone and accepts it with no crying or anything! Maybe i should just move out!

Thats a good point about going random, ever since I stopped the day feeds, he has fed more at night. I can imagine not feeding him anymore as I do feel I think, that I have done 'my bit' and now want to come to a stop, I just know that baby is nowhere near ready to stop yet so its going to be tough. I actually thought that cutting day feeds would help cut the nights but oh no!

IMO the thing with feeding is that when babies are little thay should have all the rights and the mother has all the responsibilities in the feeding partnership - so they get to feed when and how they want. Don't be tough - let the babies come first etc etc.

But now your ds is older the balance begins to swing back towards a more even spread. You can say no; you can go out; he will survive without you. You have tried this by cutting the day feeds - but he's not silly - he's upping the night feeds.

If you are ready to call a halt to feeding then no-one should make you feel bad about it - esp not yourself! You know in your heart whther now is the right time. Don't start half-heartedly because someone says you should - and then give up and feed him anyway. Why make him yell for no reason?? Once you start see it through.

If you do stop make sure you take care of your breasts (a little expressing to avoid mastitis etc) and be firm.

ps a friend of mine checked into a hotel every night for a week!

pps another friend went to her mother's - who stood in front of the baby's bedroom door and said "you told me not to let you feed him - I'll sort him out! and refused to let my friend past....

Oh my gosh GG, that made me laugh! I have actually seriously considered the hotel thing before! LOL...
The next best thing was to take my 3 year old and myself to my mums for a few days, and let the hubby sort him, but I worried that my baby would forget me or something....how stupid is that....couldn't do it and be apart from him I don't think.
He has actually fallen asleep tonight on a bottle for the first time, and has stayed asleep for so far an hour and 20 mins, so will see how he goes today.
Thanks for your post