Please help with night weaning.

[Emsy9898]

I'm honestly losing my mind. My girl is 16 months now, is exclusively BF (does drink water and milk now of course), but has not slept through the night once.... Never. I'm fed up, done. We co sleep as it helps me get more sleep to just whip the boob out and drift back off. But this isn't sustainable anymore. I want her off. She has a floor bed in her room, I tried it for 2 days in a row this week and denied her boob, she won't take any other liquid at night, but she SCREAMED. And I mean, didn't stop, she even threw up it was that bad. After 2+ hours of continuous crying, I gave in both nights... I can't do that. Also my partner cannot help at nights as has a very demanding and risky job. Thanks all

You have to knock the feeds off one by one.
the first one to go for me was first thing in the morning. Then next was the bedtime feed. Then you start working on the middle of the night feeds. It’s not a quick process.

And don’t try and move her into a new bed at the same time as weaning it’s just too much for them.

I unfortunately will need to move her into her bed with me, as can't be having her screaming mad with her dad in the bed who desperately needs his sleep unfortunately!

I meant if you’ve been co sleeping don’t suddenly move them into a bed on their own whilst trying to night wean.

also if they’ve previously helped themselves whilst you’ve carried on sleeping you may have to wear a bra and a difficult to undo top. My second could always get a breast out and latch on regardless of what I wore!

Haha yes I think that will be a struggle! I'm going to wear a sports bra, and a turtleneck top and sweat to death for a few nights lol. I even have some nipple covers somewhere in my draw of junk. Ahhh I see what you mean, I'll be in the floor bed with her as it's a single mattress so can both fit :)

I get your DH has to sleep but could he do the initial getting her to sleep so it isn’t bf to sleep? You have to break the suck to sleep association and in my experience that involves not being the one getting the baby to sleep. I ebf and co-slept but to get the sleep through the night I stopped feeding to sleep and DH rocked dd to sleep to soothing music - sort of almost like dancing with her. Once asleep he put her in our bed next to me or I crept in if I was up. It took about three nights I think then she stopped waking up for a feed. I still fed her during the day but not to sleep. Good luck op, it’s a tough one.

I didn't breastfeed, but also co-slept and fed to sleep until about the same age. I diluted the milk to reduce calories at night at first, so that she ate better in the day and when this was established I took the bottle away cold turkey. Had 2 night of crying and then she slept through. If there's anyway that you can slowly reduce the milk she's getting to start off with, maybe shorter feeds? Maybe some of the screaming is hunger if she's taking in a lot of milk at night and her body is used to it.

Perhaps get some ear plugs to help with the screaming. She will get used to it. It's just hard to listen to the screaming. 16 months is approaching tantrum age anyway so the screaming can be more intense when they don't get what they want!

There’s a story book that helped a bit .. can’t remember the name. Both mine cried a LOT for a few nights, I just comforted and offered milk / snacks which they didn’t want.. exhausting. after a week it was sorted though and only breastfed when the sun was up (that’s what the story is about , linking it to sun rising etc)

Can you try setting a time that you won’t BF until? And get your partner to do bedtime and deal with wakes until that time? Appreciate they need sleep but you could start with saying you won’t feed til 10pm for example; then each week add on an hour. Might feel easier than totally stopping. And also you need to start saying no or wait to BF during the day, ideally first, so toddler gets used to it.

I don't know what the answer is but just wanted to say I know how you feel. My youngest is 2 next month and I'm at the end of my tether! We have stopped feeding in the day in last couple of months. I tried night weaning at 18 months and we did 10 nights where my husband mainly did the nights but she screamed for hours and hours every night with no improvement or end in sight so I had to give in, she was exhausted from lack of sleep. Since then she just screams when her dad tries to comfort her at night so now it's even worse ! I am trying to unlatch her at the earliest possible time during night feeds but it is hit and miss as to whether it works. Hope you find a strategy soon x