Having a breakdown

[Faithless04]

I need to say this somewhere or I may actually drive off a cliff.

My nearly 8 month old son is an awful, awful sleeper. He wakes constantly through the night, he is miserable through the day and I am at my absolute wits end. I am genuinely at the point where I can feel my sanity slipping away. I am so sick of everyone telling me BS things like it will get better when he learns to crawl, when he’s not teething, when he starts solids, when I get his naps right etc etc. NOTHING I do makes any difference. Are these things true for ANYONE?! I appreciate its “biologically normal” for him to do all of this but I am going to lose it. I am at the point of sleep deprivation where I cannot function. I am falling asleep at the wheel, I can’t string a sentence together, I am f*ing drowning. He wants to feed all night, he’s awake for hours in the night sometimes I’m just done. My brain cannot handle it anymore. He scratches and pinches me 24/7, I am so extremely overwhelmed and overstimulated I want to rip my own skin off. What do I do. My partner is a sack of shit, he gets angry at the baby which is soooooo pointless and soooo unhelpful. So it’s me on my own. All day all night staring into the abyss. He’s wide awake right now scratching me and crawling around the bed. Yes I cut his nails, it makes no difference, my boobs are currently covered in scratches, some of them bleed. I feel like a slave not a mother.

I’m sorry to hear that everything is overwhelming for you right now. I’m sure some mums nearer your age and stage will be along but can you hang on and chat to me?
do you have any family nearby? Any friends or mums to talk to?
have you approached your health visitor.

babies can be very demanding and you need some support.

Huge hand hold, I know how tough it is

I'd be getting him onto formula

Does he have a dummy?

@Faithless04 My third was an awful sleeper. Maximum sleep time through the night was about 40 minutes, if I was very lucky. I took him to a paediatrician privately who prescribed medication for silent reflux which did the trick. Prior to that I had tried absolutely everything.

Hello! I'm currently crouching on my bedroom floor staring at a baby monitor hoping that 12m old DD will put herself back to sleep after finally having a poo and more milk... She's trying to give her dummy to a teddy. I've got work tomorrow.
DD isn't as bad a sleeper as my DS was. He woke every hour for months. With him, I felt like I'd lost my soul. He didn't pinch, but DD does, so I get how skin-crawling that is too. I'm giving her formula as well as BFs now because the pinching/squeezing/poking 🙄 feels mildly violating.
That's interesting about the comment about silent reflux actually? Otherwise I'd say that all that stuff about naps, solids etc. It's all rubbish. Babies take their own path. Eventually, he'll get better. In the meantime, your partner needs to step up as you shouldn't be doing this alone. Can you talk to him about it?

Thank you. Yes he has a dummy. He does also have formula sometimes but doesn’t make a difference to sleep. I wondered about reflux as he still sicks up milk a lot but he doesn’t seem in pain as such, more just tired after he’s been awake a little while. He is my third baby but oh boy this is another level compared to the last two.

Thanks for the responses. I haven’t spoken to health visitor, I feel like they think because this is my third that I am just getting on with it. I try and speak to family but no one is really able to offer much support as busy with work or their own children. My partner does help in the day, he took the baby for a couple of hours yesterday afternoon so I could get my nails done so I suppose I get a little break but it’s not really making any significant difference to how I feel. If he just slept a bit more at night I think I could deal with everything else. Sorry for this rant.

You need help.
Please go to your GP and say this, that you can’t cope. Through no fault of your own it sounds as though this is all causing post natal depression. You are exhausted and this is a really tough time.

Oh I’ve been there. I’m assuming you breastfeeding too. I carried on from 2 years, and right now she’s awake and I’m so tired and pregnant again and she’s asking for a bottle of milk I’m finding myself getting really stressed out.
i remember what you mean about wanting to drive if a cliff. It’s brutal. And I was touched out too. I wish I stopped nursing, can you bottle feed? I’m pregnant and will never breastfeed again. Turns out my child had a medical issues and that’s why she never slept. She had obstructive sleep apnea and had to have her tonsils removed as she kept getting sick. She would wake up so often at night, I tried to tell medical staff this but it aaa brushed off until an ENT appointment and evidence was taken seriously. There could be something underlying going on. Which is why your efforts feel so useless. It’s not you. I promise .