12mo sleep is destroying me 💀

[Oxalis00]

Long story short, 1 year old (nearly 13 months) has been SO disturbed at night for the last few weeks. I mean, he’s never slept well, but there was a month or two where he woke for a resettle at 10 and then feeds (BF) at 12 and 4 and I coped. Now I don’t even know what happens each night, but he’s up pretty much every hour from bedtime, or 40 minutes, and sometimes just 20 or 15 or 6 minutes since we put him back down. I am LOSING MY MIND.

Naps - half an hour/45 mins at 9:30am and then an hour at 1:30/2pm. Bedtime is 7-7:30 and he’s up for the day 6-6:30. He can go in the cot awake and be patted/stroked at bedtime, or at least he could until this week when he’s become a wailing, flailing banshee. For naps we mostly rock him in our arms, and do the same over night when necessary.

He has been a bit poorly over the last few weeks with a couple of colds and most recently a temperature. And I think there are some teeth on the way through. But we have given him ALL the drugs (calpol, ibuprofen, anbesol) and still he wakes an hour after bedtime absolutely furious, and so begins the long tortured battle until morning.

Please. HELP.

Solidarity. My 13 month old (DD2) is eerily similar. She went from 3 nightly wake-ups to about 12-20 wake ups a night for 6 weeks or so, and I was dying. Baby was also SO UNHAPPY being rocked, stroked etc. Tried co-sleeping but it just made her manic. My husband has started putting her to bed and leaving her to get to sleep herself (with check-ins) and she's now going to sleep in about 30 seconds and gone back down to 3 wake-ups again where I go in and bf her and she settles back to sleep. I'd love a stretch longer than 4 hours one day, but I remember the pain of getting up every half an hour! Hope you're ok.

At this age mine started to need to be awake by 2/2.30 and bed at 7.30/8 for them to sleep better overnight. By 14m they needed only one nap so I think sleep disruption can be about them needing more sleep pressure but not being ready to drop it yet. If it's not teeth - as for us this was always awful even with meds

@Lottie6712 Appreciate the solidarity! Honestly, it feels so miserable in the long depths of the night it’s actually nice to think of strangers out there living similar 😝 Thank you!

Exactly the same with the reactions to rocking, patting etc - he does a plank in your arms and jolts around and kicks out which is completely enraging when you’re trying to help. Interesting about your husband’s strategy. I am more open to this than I was with DD1 simply because this kid doesn’t actually seem to want the cuddles at bedtime. I just don’t know what he does want…!

6 weeks is a long time! Ugh. We’re probably on week 3. Guess I’ll keep going…!

@Petrie999 That’s helpful food for thought, thank you. He has had a couple of accidental one nap days (nursery settling) and coped, so maybe it’s worth trying that sooner rather than later? How do people decide what to do about naps?

Maybe it is just teeth. Appreciate you saying yours struggled even with meds. But bloody hell, he’s got 14 to go, I can’t live like this for every one! 😵‍💫

I'd maybe try an 8pm bedtime and see if that helps at all? It may only be temporary for a few weeks/couple months until one nap is manageable consistently. For us naps changed based on him moving up a room at nursery where the other babies were on one long nap at midday, so he adjusted there first at around 14m and we kept 2 naps up at home when out and about for convenience and on those days he needed a later bed. One dropped to one nap bedtime came earlier again

This is my second one as well and she is very, very different with her sleep so far.... Hope yours improves soon!

Ok well now he’s 14 months and ugh, it’s still terrible. There was a night a few days ago where he just woke once!! Unimaginable right now, where he has been screaming and thrashing around for an hour - whether in my arms, my husband’s, or the cot. Last night I don’t think we got any sleep until 1:30am because he was so upset, would eventually go to sleep in our arms and be transferred and then wake again a few minutes later. He’s in warmer clothes tonight, same. We’ve given calpol, same. What’s up with this?! Anyone a bit further along have some rays of light for me?! 😭

Oh and he’s now mostly on one nap, because it was getting too hard to fit in the two, especially at nursery, and he’d get very upset when they tried for the second. At home we do 12:30-2 but at nursery it varies more, depending on whether they think he can last till after lunch. Today he napped 10:50-11:30 for example. He copes surprisingly well with the long stretch to bedtime.

Give me your magic tricks people, PLEASE!