We've been in this limbo for a while now with my 12month DD. She wakes roughly 7.30/8am. Most days probably could go for a nap around 10.30 /11, but only ever for 30mins and then will hold out on 2nd nap stubbornly til around 3.30/4 earliest if we're lucky, and then will only have 30mins. But this means she's then up til 9pm/10pm.
If we push her a little and goes for a nap around 11.30/12/12.30, she'll sleep for 1hr 20 and then happily sails through til a 7/8pm bedtime. This 1 nap seems to make the afternoon much nicer for her, and it's way better for us and our schedule (especially now I'm back at work 4 days a week, so for DH/grandparents caring for), and for getting a bit of time in the evening.
My instinct is the one nap is better for everyone, but sometimes she does seem tired in the AM and I feel worried we are slightly forcing it. She's tired but is fine if you distract / do early lunch etc so is not upset, just seems a bit bleary eyed.
What would you do?