Capping naps for 11mo - should I cut? Where to cut?

[DancingMoonlight17]

DD is 11mo and for last few months has been on the following sleep schedule: wake at 6:30, first nap 9:30-10:30, second nap 2:30-3:15, bedtime at 8pm. However over the last 2 weeks she's started refusing bedtime seemingly not sleepy at all. I lay next to her until she finally falls asleep, anytime between 8:30/9. The second nap also increasingly doesn't happen until 2:50/3, at which point I let her have half hour so sometimes runs to 3:30.

Something similar happened a few months ago and the answer was to cut the nap times (she'd been doing 1h15 / 1h, but this time it's a bit trickier... I don't think she's ready to drop a nap as she's sooo tired for that morning nap, even pushing it back to 10 would be a struggle, and if I do start to do that, how would I fit in the second nap?! I also already have to fight to wake her up from that second nap because its so short, which makes me feel so guilty but when I've let her sleep it completely ruins the night!

I really don't want her to have a bedtime any later than 8, or wake up earlier than 6:30, so where do I cut the nap time?! If I keep morning nap at current time and just make it shorter, then she's then got 2 short 30/45 min naps which I think is bad?!

Then just to complicate things further... She's just started shuffle / crawling in last week or so - so could it all just be this and I should wait it out?!? Her night wakes have also increased lots, we'd got it down to 2 and now it's closer to 4/5 most nights usually with a very early wake after one sleep cycle.

Nap math sending me crazy right now 🥴 help!

You'd normally be aiming for 1 long nap around a year so maybe try that? Although id agree the crawling could be causing a slight regression too

Mine used to do 2-3 hours between 12-3pm and then 11/12 hrs overnight. .

My advice is just don't worry because it will all be completely changed again soon anyway. We can't really control their sleep, they have their own personalities, developmental needs and so on. My current 11mo (DC3) also wakes up many times a night and he often has 1 wake where he can be awake for 1-2hrs. He usually still naps twice a day but they're not at set times, he doesn't wake up at the same time each day and if he has a very late second nap then he goes to bed a bit later than usual. I don't find it particularly problematic (well apart from being exhausted from the broken nights of course). it is what it is. It always works itself out as they change all the time.

try this:
6.30 wake
9.30-10 nap 1 (cap at 30 mins max)
1-2.30 nap 2 (awake by 2.30 no matter what, can go down from 12.30 if tired)
7pm bed

I think this would be too much overall sleep unfortunately! As much as I'd love her to sleep that much (she's always been lower sleep needs)... At the moment she has 12.5 hours total sleep day and night, your suggested plan would be 13.5! I may still try the 30 min morning nap though and just see how tired she is for nap 2 and whether I can get her to go earlier and then have a bigger gap to 8 🤞🏼

Yes give the shorter morning nap a go and see how you get on.

Could you get her down for her first nap earlier, as you say she's tired? Then the second nap will be earlier as well, and you have more time before bedtime. I wouldn't want the second nap to start any later than 2pm ideally.

I wouldn't worry too much though, even a later bedtime isn't the end of the world. You can't really control their sleep, and it will all change in a few months. Mine went from really needing that morning nap to absolutely refusing it (and falling asleep in his lunch) at 13 months.