11mo won’t go down for second nap but we can’t keep him awake til bedtime?! 🫠

[SunshineAndSh0wers]

I’m really struggling with my 11mo’s sleep. He’s on two naps a day but his wake windows seem enormous so we’re having such late bedtimes and I just can’t do it anymore.

Here’s today’s example:

Wake up 7am
Nap 1: 10:15-11:50 (tried to put him down from 9:45)
Nap 2: Still not happened, though we’ve been trying to put him down since 3:30. He’s been yawning and sometimes has been SO close but then just wakes himself up again. We’ve tried the pram and the boob but neither has worked.

Of course we can’t now keep him up til 7 as that’s a seven hour wake window! But even if he falls asleep this very second (currently giggling on DH so seems unlikely), even just a short nap would mean we’re looking at a 9:30pm bedtime.

What can we do?! Anyone else?!

He won’t sleep longer than 1:30 whether we contact nap or are in the car or pram.

Added context if it helps, we are going through teething hell currently too! He’s really been struggling with the pain.

Does he sleep in a cot? Have you tried putting him down in his cot (with sleeping bag, dark room, white noise etc) then just leaving him to fall asleep? Does he sleep well at night?

Try cutting the first one to 45 minutes. If that doesn't work, then drop to one nap? I can't remember when that happened with mine, but I vividly remember the awfulness of the nap transition periods. He'd be up until 10 or awake at 4am... ugh. Dreadful. But it actually passes quite fast, promise!

I had to cut the first nap to 30 mins to get a second one in around this stage. Not long after, we went to one nap and an earlier bedtime, which did mean an earlier morning and some days were then two-nap days. It's a pain in the arse, but it does all change quickly when I look back.

Yep first nap needs to be shorter, especially if it’s late like that. Sorry!

I'd either push the nap back to 11.30/12 (have an early lunch) or keep the first nap really short, like 20 minutes.

His overnight sleep is quite good. I’m still breastfeeding so he normally has a short feed around 1 and one around 5.

If we cut the first nap shorter then doesn’t that just make the second one longer? Let’s say he naps for a total of two hours a day then if the first one is 30 mins then it just makes the second one 1hr 30, so the final wake up time is the same?

Agree the first nap either needs to be later or shorter.

Having said that, is a late bedtime a problem for you or are you just thinking he ‘should’ be in bed for 7pm?

We co-sleep so I’ve never been one for a fixed schedule at all. But I’m going back to work next week and I need this current ‘bedtime at 10pm’ phase to end. I’d be more than happy with it being 8 or 8:30. I can feed him to sleep upstairs then roll away and get an hour or so downstairs before he notices I’m gone!

Think it’s more that he’ll be ready to go for that second nap earlier if it’s shorter. A 1.5 hr nap that ended at 11.50 means he’s quite unlikely to need another one before 5.

You can probably work through that with an earlier bed time but you run the risk of him getting seriously cranky around 6 or waking up at 5am and deciding it’s time to get up.

Okay, thank you. It seems to be quite unanimous so will give a shorter first nap a go!

The first nap seems quite early. I would start trying at 11 ( so let him be active at 9.45 - 10.45) starting to get him down at 9.45 is far too early. He has only been up just over 2.5 hours.

I had this problem with my 14 month old. In the end I cut her 1st nap to 10 mins. Her nap schedule looked like this:

9am -10 min nap
11am- 1hr nap
6pm - bedtime

Went on like this for a couple of months until she could make it through on one nap and now her naps are
10:30am - 1 hr nap
6pm - bedtime

I appreciate yours is younger than mine so wake windows are shorter. I would just experiment with cutting the first nap shorter and see what length of time gets them to be tired at the right time for their second nap.

I think when they are transitioning from two to one nap it’s awful like this. The other bad one is when they drop the nap totally and need it but don’t …

Yes I aimed for short first nap, longer second
Something like 30mins nap between 9-10am. lunch. Aim for 1-3pm nap ( it was often only 60-90mins)

Bedtime was always later here though. Like 8.30-9pm as I would feed baby to sleep at that age and go up with him

Welcome to the trenches. With both of mine I found their sleep went all out of sync around this time. I am brutal though and will keep DC up and go to bed around normal time, even if it costs me my sanity from the moaning.

My DD cut herself down to 1 nap literally days after she turned one. She would nap for 2 hours ish at around 12. And would be asleep by 6.30. She never woke until 7ish the next day. Maybe your little one is trying to do the same. However I agree maybe try a shorter morning nap first and see how you get on xxx

God, I am so jealous of this.

Well, he nodded off for his second nap at 4:50 and we woke him at 5:30 (one sleep cycle), he wasn’t very happy.

I have just fed him to sleep and he finally dozed off at 9:20….

He’s doing his first full days at the childminder’s this week so I suppose anything could happen but certainly when I have him this week I’ll try a shorter morning nap and see how we get on. I’m not sure how it will change things to be honest because my feeling is he’ll just have a longer second nap so it’ll even out the same, but enough of you have said that’s the answer so I’ll give it a go!

He's of the age to move the am nap back a bit with a longer nap and later lunch or early lunch and later longer nap sounds typical of a one year old ISH

I used to wake mine from second nap to stop it being too long. So around 1 year if still asleep by 3.30pm I would usually wake. Even if they only fell asleep later at 2pm.

I found mine needed about 5hrs wake time after last nap to fall asleep. 3.30pm wake, meant 8.30pm bed approx. Any later naps in car always meant later bed

7pm bed never happened unless Ill

None of it’s working.

Today: woke up at 6:30
Nap: 9:30-10:15 (tried putting him down sooner but he wouldn’t go)
Second nap: What second nap….

He’s been awake for six hours now! Nothing is working. Not boob or rocking or walking or DH or his stories, nothing.

He's ready for one nap a day so choose whether it is morning or afternoon.

😂 if only that was the magic solution. My 2 kids laugh at that suggestion.

My 14 month old is the same he wakes at 7am and then naps arouns 10am for 1.5hrs then wide awake some days we manage a short nap around 3/4pm but otherwise he isn't about it. I just try for 30mins and then move on. Once it gets to 4:30 I stop trying as that will delay his bedtime. When i have allowed it we also get him down no earlier then 9:30pm. Just being an odd ball.

Mine was at one nap at day at 11 months. Can you lose the morning nap altogether?

Honestly he will be fine. Wake windows are a new thing babies have naturally transitioned to one nap at around 11am from about one for years.....sounds like he hasn't read the book your cm will be fine.
Typically wake windows at 11 months are between 3.5 and 5 hours so anything between 7 am to 12 fits anyway.