Transitioning from co-sleeping with 5 year old

[Sweetlove23]

can anyone give me advice and their own experiences of transitioning from co-sleeping and helping them sleep independently.

as much as I like to cuddles and know she will grow out of it. I feel she will miss out on sleep overs and school trips if she needs me so it’s more to help her.

have also been advised it’s best to work on one thing at a time so either sleeping in own bed or getting to sleep independently.

context below.

up until I took the sides of the cot bed off. She’d sleep through the night with no problem. Once the sides were off she would come into bed with me every night. I did start taking her back to her own room but she was waking every hour and as she doesn’t fidget, I have just let her come in every night.

latest issue is, her dad and I split last year and since March I moved to a new place and her room isn’t ready yet. Should be ready by end of September so she’s been co-sleeping with me every time she is with me.

the second part is since she was a baby I have always sat with her to go to sleep.

ive painted her room the colour she wanted, let her choose her bedding, curtains and light shade/lamp.

we’ve spoken about her new room but she keeps saying she doesn’t want to sleep in her own room and be alone. I’ve said we both need our space and I will always start off in her room. And she can come and find me in the night.

thats where I am at right now so any advice welcome.

It sounds like you have done all the right things! Given her much-needed stability when dad left, provided the comfort and contact that frankly most children and humans need, and now you’re right on track getting her ready for her own lovely room.

The way we handled a similar preference for co-sleeping:

• Furnish the room the way dc likes so it feels like their space (you already did this part)
• spend lots of time in the room with no pressure to sleep there eg board games, reading practice, teddies picnic.
• get yourself a bed so you can fall asleep on the floor with dd. We used a mattress cube - which by the way is VERY handy when you do eventually have sleepovers, as a base for a friend to sleep on.

So when you do fall asleep with DD on the floor - obviously you can creep away (set a vibrating alarm on your phone for about 30 mins after dc is likely to nod off). Make sure dc knows that you “might wake up in the night to go to the toilet” and in that case you might go and sleep in your own bed so you don’t wake her up. Tell her if she wakes the night herself, it’s fine for her to come and find you in your bed. Leave a very low level night light on, or even better buy one of those USB rechargeable lightbars that turns on when it detects movement - we used Velcro sticky pads to attach under the steps of dc’s sleeper bed, so he doesn’t have to climb down in the dark.

The below link takes you to a mattress cube in Amazon - there are loads online. The one we bought (from Argos but no longer stocked) came with a storage cover which I’d recommend, if you can find one in a colour you like. It’s comfy enough to sleep on and will persuade your dc that you are serious about sleepover on her room.

In the daytime you can fold it up and pop it in the corner. I made some huge cushions and we turned it into a cozy reading nook in the daytime.

Mattress cube

@MimsyMe thank you for the great advice. I like the idea of playing in the room so it becomes a nice place to be. I have a 3/4 bed for her so she can have her friends sleep in it and I will sleep in it with her initially. I do this in my own bed at the moment and then I leave once she’s asleep. I do say I may leave to go and let our dog out to the toilet.

would you say the best thing is to get her to sleep in her one bed Initially and then tackle the going to sleep independently?

My neice was still ending up in her mum's bed every night at the age of eleven. She didn't miss out on school camps or sleepovers - she managed those well enough, because she wanted to go on them, though she never got a good night's sleep.
She's a lovely young adult now and sleep is no issue.