2yr old has yet to sleep through the night. I need advice and/or sympathy please.

[Citronella]

My 2yr old ds has only ever slept through the night once in his entire life and I am beginning to think he never will. He goes to bed happily enough and has 1 nap during the day ranging from 40mins to up to 3hrs sometimes. He wakes up 2 or 3 times a night! Anyone else had this and have you got any tips as to how I could get him to sleep through or have I just got to wait 'til it just happens

Question is, What do you do when he wakes up?

Me me me, i have a dd who is now 2.4 & she still does not sleep through & i have started many a thread on here & had great advice.

I have tried everything to crack it, i thought it was because she was addicted to sucking her bottle & having milk but cracked that and she still wakes, does your ds have a bottle? when he wakes what does he want? what do you do?

I do however have to say that dd was getting up literally EVERY night & sometimes 3-4 times, she got better for about 3 months & was getting up maybe 2-3 nights a week, the last week though she has begun to slip again.

Not sure what the answer is, i have so much sympathy for you though because it is sooo hard having to get up through the night espcially at this age when you expect them to be sleeping through.

Well I have to say I give him a drink which he has and falls back to sleep straight away. It is the complete opposite approach to ds1 where I would not give anything but try to leave to settle himself. Sometimes that would take up to an hour or two and was distressful for me and him I think which is why I didn't do it with ds2. Plus I have to be up for work bright and shiny in the morning. Ds1 did sleep through most nights from about the age of 6 months.

Sympathy from me.
My DD still wakes at least twice a night, sometimes 14 times or 83 times!
She has eczema so usually wakes to scratch, but even so.
Can't advise. Just sympathy.

I have tried putting him to bed earlier and later but it made no difference.
ScoobyDoo, I wonder if he is being woken up by dreams.

Sympathy is good. At least I'm not alone.

Sympathy from me too. My ds1 did this. It gradually got better. We weren't prepared to do controlled crying, and pick up put down was exhausting. We opted for cosleeping in the end, which meant that I got more sleep.

Just when I thought it would never end, and I would be cosleeping with a teenager, he didn't wake up one night - when he was two and three quarters - and he's never woken up since! It just changed overnight.

Best of luck.

Thanks. There is still hope then.

Big sympathy - but have I read this correctly - naps for up to 3 hrs a day??????

Have you tried limiting the nap time a little - do you think he may be catching up on his sleep throught the day? (from being up and down in the night)

Its bloody difficult though.

I do favor the straight back to bed thng though - you know, gently put them back to bed, and leave the room. No conversation or fuss. That defo helped a lot for ds1 .

DD rarely sleeps through the night (has happened maybe 5 or 6 times total). At 14 months I weaned her off a night feed but this meant she was up for 2-3 hours solid and then restless until 6am when I would give her milk so at 18 months (when I was 9 months pregnant and about to die from being up all night with her)I caved and went back to giving her milk. Luckily all I have to do is hand her the cup and she drinks it and goes back to sleep...I figure she'll stop needing it eventually

Citronella is he in his own room or in with you (had a quick look at the thread but didn't see the answer to that, apologies if I missed it)? Lots of people have told me that my life will improve if I can get my DS into his own room. He's now 18 months and still doesn't sleep very well. He's in our room, in a cot which we are determined to relocate to his bedroom in 2 weeks time. I used to think he woke to bf, but I stopped about 8 weeks ago and he is now on a mission to get into bed with DH and myself for comfort / snuggling. I don't offer him anything other than water during the night but like most of us who have to go to work the next day, we've always resorted to bringing him into bed rather than be up for hours settling him back. And neither of us feel we want to do CC, so I guess when he moves rooms there's going to be a run of very disturbed nights. I know several other people in the same situation with DS and DDs between 18 months and 3 years (and I think a fair few other parents gloss over their sleep problems!)

Have to ask same question.. is he in is own room? Has he always been in his own room as in from being a baby? They say this is fundamental in teaching children to sleep independently and through the night. Do you have a bedtime routine with him?

I think, rather than the cc option which you may not have the energy to do particularly given his age, maybe you need to think about routine and his environment for sleeping what does he have food/drink wise before going to bed? can't remember if you have confirmed this (being lazy and not reading thread!)

Just out of curiosity, does you dc sleep better at night when they have had a longer or a shorter nap???? I was watching Carrie and Justine the other day and they told the mum that if the nap times were kept the same the child would sleep better at night (i.e wake them after 1.5 hrs) this worked for the mum that was on the programme.

I dont understand what the big deal is about CC,you can adapt it how you wish.I think you have to sum up how much you want this to change and how much effort you are willing to put into achieving it.I dont support the CC regimé of leaving them to cry it out,unless you are very desperate and can support each other for 3 nights or so of "hell",very distressing,but it does work.However I prefer the CC regimé of returning to them,soothing them quietly with your voice and a comforting touch,and then leave the room.If you can repeat this,but leave it 1 minute longer each time,eventually they will tire themselves out and fall asleep.I think you have to set aside a week,withyour DP/DH full support,and say right this is going to be hell,we are going to get through this,but we will have little sleep for the next couple of nights,suggest starting it on a Friday night,because if you are lucky,you may have a good night by Sunday/Monday night.

The longer you leave it the worse it generally gets.Its now become such a habit,its very hard to "unlearn" a habit the older the child is,and they will resist at first.

You may be lucky lik the parent who's 2 yr old now sleeps through after Co-sleeping,but I think thats unusual if you read the other posts.

I really don't think babies over 6-9 mths need anything at night,IMO.They get enough calories etc during the day.Its a comfort thing,but they wont need the comfort when they learn to sleep through.

Now for the slating to start......

As much as I don't like cc on a personal level what you have just said Nursejo, makes perfect logical sense. I like it, and I agree that the longer this is left the worse it will be definitely!

Why would there be slating?! Really confused there!

Where have you all gone?

did we scare them maybe?! Come back! I was only asking questions!!

Looks like its just me and you nursejo...

Just though I might "provoke" a few people.I'm a 43 yr old mum with a DS of 12 and 2 DD's of 3.5 and 19 mths,my views might be a little dated....?

perhaps we should break open a bottle of wine and wait wurleywoo (love the name btw)

Have already opened the wine.. looks like I will be drinking the lot before anyone comes back lol

Name is an old nickname derived from my ridiculous hair but thanks

Views are not dated at all in my view perfectly logical, I am a big believer in imposing routines and indepedence in children. Some, have ridiculed my routine with dd who is almost 5 months I had her sleeping thru from 9 wks, ok, this wont always be the case taking into account teething and waking for food but I strongly believe I have laid the foundations for her learning to sleep on her own without needing me or anything like that.

Yes I agree with routines etc.I think a child feels secure learning/knowing that the same thing happens at the same time each day (within reason ofcourse)

Mine never slept through that early,but all the routines I set up from an early age,maybe 2-3 mths old,are still in place now.On average mine slept through from 6 mths.

I fully understand when my friends do things differently,maybe keep them up until late and they let them sleep on the settee,or feed them whenever they wake,even up to 3.5 yrs of age,etc.etc. just to get through what can be very stressful and tiring months,but then later when they arent happy with things,
its easy to see what they need to change,and when they do,what a difference it has made to them.....Happy Parents,Happy Child.

I think a lot of people do what they think is right at the time but maybe go on to think they should have done things slightly different as breaking habits can be hard particularly when children get to 2/3 yrs old.

That's not to say I am slating anyone in any way because being parents is tough and when you are new at it like me, you don't know what you are doing so you do things the way that feels right at the time.

I'm a bit of a routine freak with my dd but she knows what's always coming and that's not to say that if she got hungry at some random time that I am going to say "no your not due a feed for an hour!!" odd, that I am so slack with my own life not sure how that works! Don't think i have the energy to be a routine freak for myself, iyswim..

Poor you. I think maybe it's quite telling that your DS1, who you gave nothing to when he woke, but instead settled back to sleep, slept through from 6 months. Maybe you need to ditch the drinks and steel yourself for a few bad nights re-settling him? I'm very much with Nursejo. I did CC with both my DDs with great success. I never left them to cry for long periods, it was always a case of return to the room, lie them back down say a few soothing words and leave. Back in 5 mins later. Hard work for a couple of nights (DH support definitely a must), but then it's done and everyone is much happier. Good luck, I really feel for you.