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Sleep Separation Technique Not Working for my stubborn 3.5 year old?

6 replies

Suziesuesue · 18/08/2025 10:04

Our 3.5 year old has gone to sleep independently since she was 6 months old and has a good bedtime routine. This year she’s started delaying bedtime with multiple requests for drinks, wees etc but just over a week ago seems to have completely lost the plot and the requests literally don’t end until you leave the room, at which point
she starts screaming and gets out of bed. After cajoling, and trying nicely we’ve had some not so proud parenting moments, shouting at her to go back to bed, threatening consequences, bribing but none of it worked so the last 3 nights we’ve tried Super Nanny’s separation technique where I kept putting her back in silence and stayed on the landing. The first night she was crying and shouting at me to turn her pillow over I put her back over 100 times, the second night was about 90 with more crying, tonight she was absolutely knackered from missing so much sleep the previous week but still took about 60 goes to go down (she was silent this time and I’m also worried she thinks it’s a game and potentially confused by me staying on landing?) the last time I put her back I said if she got up again daddy was going to come and shut her in her room if she got out of bed again (again, not proud - desperate). I think she only gave up because she was so tired, not because of the threat. I feel like I’m failing and want my sanity back. My question is, how do we get our child to go back to going to sleep independently?
Any input or feedback welcome - esp from others who’ve had a similar experience or used sleep separation technique.

OP posts:
Geneticsbunny · 18/08/2025 13:20

Keep going. She is a determined little thing but you have already nearly halved the number of times you put get back and you are only on night 3. You are winning the battle and it will be worth it in the end. Stay calm and remember why you are doing it.

Suziesuesue · 18/08/2025 18:26

Thank you for your support, I needed to hear that 😀Lets see what the night brings…

OP posts:
Lottie6712 · 18/08/2025 19:17

Mine went through something similar at a similar age. It will pass. Crack on!! I'd just sit on the landing and say "go back to bed please" until she went. With mine, then praise and a cuddle helped (only if she was actually lying in bed). Took a few hours a night for a few nights - you'll get there!!

Suziesuesue · 18/08/2025 20:44

Glad to know you’ve been the same! If anyone finds this post and is trying the same method - I was feeling really disheartened after night 3, but night 4 and she’s STAYED IN BED 😮‍💨🥳

OP posts:
Geneticsbunny · 19/08/2025 09:54

Virtual high five. Awesome parenting skillz

EllieWales · 02/02/2026 21:16

Did it work in the end? We’re going through the same thing with our 3 year old who also always put himself to sleep until about 3 months ago and since needs one of us to lie with him to go to sleep at bedtime and when he wakes at night and we’re exhausted! We have a baby on the way too so I’m keen to squash this before baby arrives. Tonight was day 1 of trying this method and it was pretty horrendous but he did go down after about 1.5 hours and countless times putting him back in bed, really hoping it gets better quickly!

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