Three year old scared at bedtime - what can I do?

[sophierosie]

DD has been scared at bedtime for about the last 2 months and it is just a nightmare trying to get her to settle.

She doesn't generally nap during the day she has a good bedtime routine - bath, stories, story about her day which she loves, but just as she's coming to the end of her story she grabs hold of me and I have to practically force her off me. She mostly stays in her bed, but just sits there screaming that she's scared. Sometimes she'll go absolutely bananas and tries running out of her room following me screaming. Cue a very stressed and tearful me.

When she starts talking about being scared of going to bed I've started talking about how she said she was scared the night before and nothing happened and tried to rationalise it a bit more but it doesn't make a difference.

I've tried checking in every 10 mins or so and every time I leave the room she just starts screaming again. Have stayed with her whilst she falls asleep but this has the effect of when she wakes in the night and I'm not there she just starts up again.

I've tried the softly softly approach - calmly saying 'bedtime' etc.

When DH is here she's much better behaved, although still screaming that she's scared, and I make him put her to bed as I just need a break from it all.

She has a light on all night in her room.
She's always been a good sleeper which is probably why I'm finding this 'phase' so difficult. Aargh!

So, any advice - as I type she's still screaming that she's scared and I feel so mean ignoring her.

Will follow this with interest at my 2.10 DD is also not sleeping during the day, very tired at the end and seems to be ready but then has a second wind and says she is scared to go to sleep. Usually resulting in her falling asleep towards 10pm and then waking up at 6.30-7ish

have you tried asking her what she is scared of? maybe there is a noise that she can hear and she doesnt know where it is coming from?

dd1 (4) is scared of the dark i leave her light on and she has a special teddy
that will scare away anything scary. also go through all the mummy and daddy are just downstairs and we would never let anything to happen to you etc.

try soft music, dd1 has some lullaby bedtime tapes that i play really quietly if she wont sleep.

Yes - have asked - normally she says she is scared of wolves, the numbercatcher from numberjacks and we go through how she is safe and I'm here.

I think what she really wants is to be with me - which I'm just not prepared to do - I'm with her all day long and no bedtime would be a nightmare.

Once when I just couldn't go through the whole bedtime stress I brought her downstairs to show her what I did when she was going to sleep so she wouldn't feel that she was missing out on anything exciting and she made me feel so guilty as she was asking me if I was cross with her and would I like any help making my dinner.

She has a cd player and I've tried story cd's and music but it just seems to overstimulate her.

I bought dd a 'sully from Monsters Inc teddy who keeps away her bad dreams - worked a treat

have you looked for the wolves with her? or got something to chase them away? dd1 sometimes says that she scared of the scratchy rabbits (dont know if they are off a kids programme or just in her head?) and i call up the dog who chases away all the rabbits. the dog then comes downstairs with me sits at the top of the stairs or outside of her door to keep the rabbits away!