Self soothing for my four month old

[GG300]

Hello all,
Our daughter has just reached 4 months old and now feels like a good time to try some sleep training methods.
One thing we would like to work on is self soothing. Currently she needs the boob to fall asleep. If I put her down sleepy, she immediately wakes up and cries. I have tried picking up/putting down, but she just cries everytime she is put down.
I have also tried setting a timer for two minutes to give her an opportunity to self soothe but she ends up crying so much she is even more awake and we are back to square one.
Overall she is unfortunately a pretty back sleeper, can be up hourly during the night and has never given us longer than 3 hours.
Does anyone have any advice? We are in the very early stages so all success stories are welcome!

nb: she is exclusively BF if that is important

Honestly I wouldn’t bother. She will start sleeping for longer stretches when she’s ready. And it is perfectly natural for her to fall asleep while feeding. Presumably you’re on maternity leave so just carry on, get rest during the day when you can to make up for disrupted nights. If you try to force her it will just be upsetting and stressful for everyone and there is really no need.

Honestly, not all babies are able to “self soothe” at that age (or until much older!)

It’s developmental. Totally normal for them to require help to sleep.

Some babies just don’t have the temperament to cope with sleep training, and will just get more and more worked up.

I don’t think they typically self soothe at that age. Mine were good sleepers but both needed to suck to soothe- one used their thumb and the other a dummy.

Self soothing is a myth. Babies need coregulation for years. Sorry op, my parenting journey became much easier when I leaned into this fact. Your instincts and theirs are to be together.

Don’t believe in the self soothe concept and from experience it wasn’t real. Babies need their mothers or caregivers to feel safe enough to sleep. It’s frankly evolutionary survival skills - nobody would have forgotten my babies in the cave - they’d have let you know!

If you comfort and keep them close when young, it develops healthy attachment so when they are older they are better able to separate from you and be independent.

4 months is too young for sleep training, sorry OP because I know it’s hard.
Things that helped with my two were a dummy and co sleeping

@GG300i’m afraid I agree that 4 months is too young but please don’t take that as a criticism. It’s totally natural to want to get some sleep!!! Also I can remember that 4 months feels like soooo long when you have a baby but you will look back later and realise just how young she still is.

I do think sleep training can be good but a bit older. I did very gentle training with my boy at 22 months which was fantastically successful but at 4 months he was literally asleep in my arms. I had to go to bed at 7pm with him and couldn’t wee all night!! It did wonders for my bladder control. it was so hard but also kind of wonderful.

My daughter was a more independent sleeper from the start and wouldn’t co-sleep. They are all different I guess. Best of luck xxx

What time does she go to bed?
My grandchild is approaching four months and their parents have found they settle more easily going to bed earlier rather than later. It might be worth a try.

Four month old babies are not able to self soothe. Please don’t be conned by the ‘sleep consultants’, it’s just not something a baby, or even a young toddler, can do. Breastfeeding to sleep is 100% natural and normal, and kind of self-soothing/sleep-training done at this age is basically just going to teach them you aren’t going to respond, so she’ll just give up hope (it’s called shut down and learned helplessness) She is also still a few months too young to be sleeping in a separate room, so she should still be with you (or someone else) for all sleeps, daytime naps and night time) which is another reason not to consider this yet.

She will develop her independence in her own time, but for now, enjoy the cuddles and sleepy feeds, you have growth spurts and teething to navigate and being able to comfort her and feed her back to sleep is the most effective way of coping with the rough patches.

Have a look at heysleepybaby on instagram xx It’s so easy to be led by what you think you or the baby ‘should’ be doing. This account saved my sanity in those early months/years, it’s full of realistic (rare online!) help and support for this period.

We started with the No Cry Sleep Solution at 8months old and it was great for my DD, she was sleeping 11 hours by 9 months. 4 months is too soon. Give it a few months.