Feeding to sleep association - 8 months - is now the right time/ when should I start sleep training?

[Clover7]

I know there’s a million threads talking about this but I guess I’m just feeling quite desperate, a little lonely and at a loss of what to do next.

Up until last week my 8 month old wasn’t necessarily a good sleeper, but sleep was predictable - we had at about 2 wakings per night at around the same times. He’s always been on the small side and we had a rocky road with breast feeding for the first few months so I have always offered breast whenever he’s called out for it as I’m in constant fear he’s not getting enough (despite always tracking in his curve). He was a great napper and could sleep in his pram, carrier or contact napping, but now only a nipple nap will suffice, he’s really fighting any sleep without it.

Last week he was sleeping great, even stretching to 7 hours at one point. This week however is terrible. He’s waking every 90 mins on average. My partner cannot smooth him, the dummy cannot sooth him, it’s only me and it’s not even me, it’s my nipple. I used to be able to transfer him to his crib easily, but that’s a no-go this week also.

He has generally become more clingy this week and he has learned a bunch of new skills this week (literally in one week) including sitting independently, crawling properly and standing, he’s even babbling way more than usual, even if it’s only to
air his grievances.

I am aware I will probably have to sleep train at some point to cut the association, I’m just wondering if this is a good time. From anyone’s experience, is this to do more with sleep association, or is this more to do with regression and/ or separation anxiety.

Any hints, tips, shared stories or just sheer solidarity would be much appreciated!

It sounds like he’s making MASSIVE neurological leaps forward and big bursts of skills growth almost always come with sleep issues. If his little active brain is making sleep difficult, he might just be temporarily insisting on breast exclusively as it’s the most soothing and reliable way for him to get a snooze. The nipple is 100% you… it’s your smell, your comfort, your safety, not just food, and if his comfort need is amplified right now it makes sense he’s leaning in on it. Bless his heart!

If this is indeed all happening because of a leap, it might be better to wait until it passes (2-3 weeks is what I’ve been told) before trying to do gentle sleep training… just to make it less of a jarring situation for you and he. A neurological leap that includes the ability to realise you and he are separate people for the first time (occurs at 8-9 months) is naturally going to bring with it anxiety… it won’t necessarily be permanent. In a week or two, he might be less anxious about the whole idea and more responsive to other forms of comforting to sleep. That said, gentle sleep training now won’t do any harm. There might just be a lot of protest.

Does he have a comfort object, like a muslin that you could make smell like you? That might help him if he could hold it while you do motion naps? Or help him stay asleep if it’s nearby when you put him down in his crib?

You really have my best wishes! My DS is 6 months and I’ve been finding his recent sleep wobbles after his first illness more challenging than the newborn stage.

@Lalu9025 Thank you so much for your reply! You truly are an angel.

That was my feeling, it seems a lot to try and train him now when he has so much going on and I don’t want to make it more stressful
for any of us to be honest. You’re right, I’ll hold out and hope it’s a temporary phase and eases slightly.

I’ve tried a few comfort objects which I thought he’d love because he’s such a tactile baby, we’ve not found the right one yet, but I’ll dig around tonight to find something soft with an extra large silky label and I’ll wear it for longer. Probably best to introduce it now so that if we do need to train later, it’s good foundations. Thank you for that tip!

I honestly didn’t realise how good I had it with newborn sleep! Wishing you the best with your DS!

Thank you again for your time, advice and words of encouragement!