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Sleep training 😵‍💫

6 replies

Argh25 · 11/08/2025 11:07

Just wanted a few different opinions on sleep training. I would like to have a better daytime routine (the night time works for us even if it isn't the hallowed 7-7).

A bit of context: at the moment, I just let my 6-week-old nap whenever she likes. I've been tracking for the last week or so and she likes a morning nap but this is usually a contact nap. She doesn't really settle in the Moses basket, pram or her cot for indoor naps. Otherwise I just save all my chores for later or shower etc in the full knowledge she's safe in the Moses basket/cot/bassinet but screaming because as far as she knows I could be on Mars. So: contact/pram/carrier naps in the morning.

She screams a lot in the afternoon (witching hour? 4pm until 8ish). Doesn't stop long enough to calm down. On a good day, I can get her to sleep for 10 minutes but not a second more. Feeding is dramatic and sad because she's fighting sleep. Then conks out at whatever feed she has between 8 and 9pm. We do her routine at this point and she'll contact nap or sleep in the Moses basket while we watch telly/read. We then feed her, keeping her sleepy, and take her up to bed with us at 10 and I do whatever night feeds she wants. It's usually 1am-2am and 5-6am but have had the odd day where she's skipped the 2am feed. Health visitor isn't worried about this so...I'm going with it.

So I think she's sleep deprived in the afternoon and I want to know if sleep training would help with this. BUT I don't want to train her to sleep 7-7.

I'm veeeery suspicious of sleep training because:

  1. my baby is formula fed but I'm fairly certain the connection between lower SIDS and breastfeeding is something to do with waking in the night
  2. I get the feeling it's a bit of a con - I have been sent some sample schedules and honestly, I don't think it's rocket science - it seems to largely centre around making the room dark when they should be napping, having a good sleep hygiene routine and feeding them slightly more in the day. There's a lot about melatonin and things but tbh if you're tired, you sleep. My newborn is literally sleeping now in broad daylight and will probably sleep tonight when it's dark.

Do you feel any different? Did you do sleep training?

I am actually fine with the amount of sleep I get. The night time routine (one feed before DH and I got to bed and then one or two feeds in the night) is actually fine but I don't know if I'm encouraging a bad habit or if she'll grow out of this at some point anyway? I don't want to fuck up her development, but not having a routine during the day is a massive pain in the arse and she's obviously knackered.

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quickncncncnc · 11/08/2025 11:09

The whole thing is an utter Western con, designed to get money out of tired parents.

She’s six weeks old. Witching hour is a thing and all being well she will grow out of it. You’re doing a brilliant job. Lots of contact naps. 😊

CurlewKate · 11/08/2025 11:20

Even the sleep training enthusiasts don’t do it this young. Will she sleep in the pram? Car? It’s important to keep in mind that this phase won’t last long (sorry!) so just do whatever you have to do to survive until things change.

Argh25 · 11/08/2025 11:24

CurlewKate · 11/08/2025 11:20

Even the sleep training enthusiasts don’t do it this young. Will she sleep in the pram? Car? It’s important to keep in mind that this phase won’t last long (sorry!) so just do whatever you have to do to survive until things change.

I saw a schedule for 6 weeks and 9 weeks, which I thought was a bit young!

I'm not really having to survive, it's just that she seems so tired in the afternoon so wondering if there's a form of sleep training I can do to make it easier 😬

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Bitzee · 11/08/2025 11:24

Whatever you personally think about sleep training you just cannot do it with a baby under 4 months old. Their sleep cycles mature around that time and any attempts before that are pointless.

I’d just watch her wake window during the day and try for more naps. Eat, play, sleep is a rough routine that works for a lot of people. The witching hour phase doesn’t last long.

DrJump · 11/08/2025 11:30

Elizabeth Pantry says sleep (or lack of sleep) is only a problem when it's a problem for the parents. If things are working now keep going. You can change later if you need to. Personally I loved contact napping. Nothing sweeter than a baby asleep on you. I baby wore which helps with he contact napping as you can move about while they sleep basically hands free.

Argh25 · 11/08/2025 11:33

Thanks everyone! Feeling a bit more certain that sleep training isn't for us. 😊

How long did the witching hour (4 hours 🫠) phase last for you? She's not going to have any vocal chords for long at this rate 😳

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