Daughter scared to sleep

[Icecreamwhirl]

My 10 year is so anxious at bedtime. Scared to sleep as she is scared of being sick. Also scared of being away from me. I end up spending all my nights in her bed. I don't mind, but obviously it is causing strain on myself and my husband. She hasn't always been like this. She has never been a great sleeper mind. This started last year. My Dad died June 2024. She was fine with her usual routine until Oct 2024 when she was sick. Since then, it has been hard work. Last night, she was crying until I went to join her. I did keep checking on her, I was just downstairs with hubby. She got herself really worked up. Not every evening are tears. Anyone any ideas how to help. We have calm carry, sleep patches, sleep drops, sleep gummies, anxiety roller, teddy with heartbeat.....nothing works

I know she is too old for it but what about a baby monitor where you can say you see her and talk through to her if she needs reassurance and she can talk back to you. Even one with just sound so she knows you are there.

Baby monitor is a good idea.

As a first step I would do away with bedtime and 'trying' to get to sleep and let her be awake, but quietly resting in bed/her room. Let her read or listen to a podcast/audiobook, do a jigsaw/colour/Hama beads. Anything that is calm and quiet and she can do in her room of an evening. Promise to join her for sleep at 11pm (or whatever time you go to bed). You need to break the connection between bedtime and crying/stress/anxiety/upset.