Bedtime age 5

[Newtothis4921]

Hello, my almost 5 yr old takes ages to go to sleep. Usually bedtime is 7pm, but it's around 7.45/8 that she's often asleep and I have to stay in the room with her. Considering just starting later, but 2 yr old also goes down at same time so would make a longer evening. Once the kids are down is when we finally relax, cook dinner etc.

People who do bedtime later, what do you do with the kids between 7 to 8/9pm? I don't love the idea of her watching tv all evening, but very much want a bit of adult time and space. I know lots of people do a later bedtime, so how do you do it? Thanks!

My 5 yo goes to bed at 8. We often go to the park for an hour after nursery, food, sometimes a bath, stories, maybe a bit of tv or playing with toys, crafts, drawing, letters/ numbers or puzzle books in the evening before bed

We put DD2 (3) to bed at 7-7.30 and then DD1(6) has an hour or so till she goes at 8-8.30. Sometimes we do board games, sometimes she does colouring or drawing or some crafts, puzzles, sometimes TV or Switch, sometimes we just do some reading, sometimes she does something with one parent while the other does something else (tidying up or just doing their own thing). But we don’t do separate dinners or chores after they are both in bed so once they’re there the rest of the evening is grown-up time.

Could you all eat dinner together and then do a later bedtime? I think 7pm is too early which is why she’s taking so long to settle down.

We start bedtime at 7.15 but she has a billion stories plus her own reading so it’s 8-8.30 for lights out.

I leave her in bed awake though, listening to Yoto, or if she really wants to she reads. I used to stay with her until she was asleep when she was 2 and 3 but once they are school age they really should sort themselves out surely.

@Macaroni46 it's a bit tricky in the week as I work until I pick them up from nursery and they've already there, otherwise yes that would be good

@FancyCatSlave ohhh I am desperate to get her down by herself! We have tried everything, cry it out, bribery, sticker charts, strong routine. No idea how to make something work. She's on the shy-er side so just really wants us with her a lot. Baby bro age 2 happily doing it solo

I think I’d try to keep your DD up and involve her in the cooking of dinner etc. I think she might feel she’s missing out on something and is therefore reluctant to settle to sleep. Could she have a mini portion of what you’re having? I think she needs to feel included.

@Newtothis4921

Have you tried just leaving her in her room, lights on with an activity? We do that with DD and say, you can play quietly in bed with whatever you want and when you feel ready, switch the light off and we’ll come and give you a kiss. So take the emphasis off the going to sleep bit.

To start with she stayed up a bit too late but now she knows when she is tired and is no bother. I did have to lie with her holding her hand when she was 3 so she wasn’t an easy one.

@FancyCatSlave thank you!! Sounds like a good idea I will try it

4.5YO here goes to bed between 7.30 and 8. We all eat together around 6.30 then the kids (also have an 8YO) play together for a bit, or watch TV, or sometimes a Switch game then bath, then bed. The 8YO goes up at the same time but usually reads or plays in her room until 8.30/9. It would be nice to do it earlier and have more of an evening but term time the eldest has v long school days and doesn’t get in until earliest 5.30, some days 6.30 so that pushes everything back.

We also do as @FancyCatSlave suggests and never strictly enforce sleep time. They’re always free to read (more look at books for the youngest) or play quietly in their room. Sometimes they go straight to sleep, other nights they play for 15 minutes or so then fall asleep on their own.

Ned time seems to have shifted closer to 8 for my 6yr old. He does watch too much tv admittedly, but I'm using the holidays to upset the routine and try and implement a better one! I've been turning it off earlier and reading books or magazines, drawing together or played games.. "calm down play".
I do any jobs that need doing while he has a bit of tv time after dinner, so I can enjoy that 45-60 minutes together and know that time to myself is just around the corner too.

Can you do, upstairs to bed at 7 but have a bath, story and small game to settle ypur child then bed time would be 7.45?

just as an interesting comparison, In the country that I live in, things are quite different. At 5 years old, afternoon naps are still the norm, and children in pre-school have to have a 1+ hour sleep in the middle of the day. So as a result, children sleep a lot later than the U.K.

My son starts to get ready for bed at 8:30-9pm, and he'll be asleep at 9:30-10:30pm, that is on the earlier side..

I know that pattern doesn't work with U.K. life, but the relevance is that it means parents have a lot longer with their children in the evening, so I can answer your question of what to do with them...

Here, it is very common to do more clubs/activities in the evening, because the evenings are longer. And it is also really normal to take your children to parks/for walks after dinner. Lots of parks are lit up, and they will be full of young kids and parents/grandparents 7-9pm. At home, its time to do homework/draw/build lego/read/do chores, or just play together. My son is heavily into lego at the moment, so most of the later part of his evening is spent playing out, and then telling us... what ever story he is making up with all his little men and things he has built.

Honestly, the U.K. early bed-time seems amazing as a parent. I've never had evenings to myself before 10pm since my son was a baby... but then I do think I'd find it quite a squeeze and a rush to try and actually do things and have a decent amount of family time, if my son was getting ready for bed really early.