Issues with trying to get my son to just go to bed.

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It’s been years and I mean years of this.
it started around the time they went to infant school.

Kicking banging the door trying to come in, screaming at me.

in all fairness perhaps I was more relaxed before and we would have sleepovers on occasion but then all of a sudden they wouldn’t sleep in their own bed.

My mother at the time said it’s not on and I need to ensure he sleeps in his bed.

fast forward 4 years later
still same issues, Picks scabs comes in says they’re bleeding. says they need to poop,
says they’re going to be sick. The sick situation is a complete fixation atm and been going on for months ( of course they’re not sick and only happens at bedtime)
they also just stand there staring.

We have had issues when we moved and had a baby it got so bad I couldn’t place them back into their room to stop all this because they refused to even let us sleep. I couldn’t just pick them up and put them to bed.

I’d be shadowed around, We wasn’t allowed to sleep. Be woken up and prodded all hours of the night. Screamed at, door bashed in head butted nothing we tried would get through to them.

They said because they couldn’t sleep they felt we didn’t need to. As much as I cried and said how sleep deprived I was from working and being pregnant and then once I had our baby.

Im just so fed up. It’s not gotten as bad as it did around two years ago but it’s a constant battle. Every time I see their face at bedtime I’m triggered. Im at such a loss and don’t know what to do. I just don’t know how much longer I can take it.

don’t get me wrong there isn’t a choice I’m their mum but it’s just hard. I feel at such a loss.
in the day they’re fairly good get along with their sibling.
I’m just so exhausted of it all.

tried sticker charts,
rewards,
lots of nightlights and calm music, activity box, staying with them talking about issues ( would then not allow us to even leave)
being firm and taking things away. - still no tv or gaming to this day considering how angry and horrible they get.

im just so fed up. I don’t know where to go for help.

Did he have a full ADOS assessment and observations by a clinical psychologist or was it just a screening?

She started on it a couple of weeks before she turned 8. She was 11 in June. So a bit over 3 years now. I can’t remember the dose she started on now but at its highest she was on 20mg of Phenergan and 4mg of melatonin. Once we got consistent sleep every night with no messing around etc we slowly started to reduce the dose. She now only takes 2mg of melatonin a night.

It is prescribed for every night, and I stuck to it religiously. However, she’s been on the 2mg only since around January time and back in March we’d had a really busy day and I totally forgot to give her it. By the time I remembered I was going to bed and she was fast asleep! So I decided to just leave her and see what happened and she slept all night! My ‘baby’ aged 10 years and 9 months old finally slept through the night and I can’t tell you how happy that made me. (Sad I know but I never had that conversation with mum friends when she was little!)

Id definitely ask your doctor for a referral and don’t take no for an answer. It took me 3 attempts, the final time resulted in me being so tired and frustrated I cried my eyes out - when we met the paediatrician and told him all about the problems we’d had he asked - why did it take you so long to come to me!? Argggh!

Anyway - just wanted to say I completely understand how you feel, and for us the medication worked wonders, I think the next step will be the final weaning off the tablets, but both of us think she doesn’t need them anymore, just waiting for the doctors advice at the appointment at the end of August. Keep strong and keep going - get on the phone to the doctors on Monday morning x
Good luck! X