Is there any way to stop contact naps with no tears? I need some time to myself!

[blueyeIIow]

DS is coming up for eleven months old and has been a contact napper since day one. We have tried everything. Every tool on the market. Every suggestion from the midwife. The smelly t-shirts, the dummies, the night lights, the wave music.

The thing is that I am desperate for some time to myself. I add up all the hours I’ve had to hold him and I think of all the things I could have done for myself during that time. I am actually looking forward to being back at work because it means DS will be at the childminder and I can WFH while also doing some things for myself for once. For the first time in a year.

The problem we have is that he either a) wakes upon transfer to a cot or b) if we transfer to the pram he will wake after 15 minutes.

I’ve tried feeding and rolling away but he just stirs after ten minutes or so and hunts for the nipple.

I am absolutely not going to let him cry. So if the only answer is to let him cry it out then I’ll stay as they are.

I am fed up of going out looking like I’ve been dragged through a hedge backwards. I just want one hour in the day where I have my hands to myself and I can do things for myself.

Is there any way a ten month old contact napper can change to be put down in a cot?? Without waking on transfer or within 15 minutes?

It also means that apart from at night, I have never once ‘slept when the baby sleeps.’ I just think you have no idea what a Velcro baby is like unless you’ve experienced one yourself.

No there will be crying.
I'd start stopping them now as it'll just be harder as they get older /more aware

We’ve got an (unused) cot bed. Is it too soon to turn it into a toddler bed? I might have more success transferring him into that without him being startled awake?

Both mine were contact nappers until 8/9 months. Only way through is perseverance I found. I'm also team no crying, so I would transfer & rub their back for a few minutes if they stirred. If they fussed to the point of upset, I would pick up and rock. I'd try again once they were asleep soundly. If that failed, depending on their temperament I would try again one more time before surrendering to the contact nap.

If they woke up shortly after transfer, my aim would be to help them link sleep cycles. I'd either switch to a feed + contact nap, or rock them if they weren't hungry & then try pop them back down.

It can be really frustrating to try this for every nap, so I picked one nap a day that was our "practice the crib" nap & stuck too it. It took a lot of failed tries before we got there consistently!

I found positive crib associations helped. I would let them play in it for a few min every day, and build the happy factor of it. I also used their fave fluffy blankets as a comfort item.

Honestly, with no crying, no. There isn’t a way to change this in the short term.

What’s the plan for when they go to nursery? I’d be surprised if they do contact naps.

Will he fall asleep in the pram? I used to go out and walk 20 mins or so, DC would fall asleep and then push the pram into the house (we have patio doors it fit through quite easily) then the rockit baby rocker would keep it jiggling. I got 30 mins to an hour that way. My babies never ever would never nap in a cot.

Oooffff. Have you tried co-sleeping with the safe sleep seven? My first was utter velcro, and I wouldn't have lasted without this.

Dad needs to be doing contact naps when he's around to give you a break.

Use the cot during the day - let them play in it while you put clothes away, make the beds etc - you can chat to them from another room. Gradually lengthen it to a quick shower. Leave them in it after a nappy change for a few minutes etc. Then try putting them down awake for a bap. You can sit next to them while they settle.

Probably silly question - have you tried a dummy?

He will fall asleep in the pram, if I then come home and sit outside on the path with him, jiggling the pram slightly, he stays asleep for about 20-25 mins.

If I bring the pram into the porch then he will wake within 5-10 mins, even if I use the Rockit and/or play traffic noise on my phone!

He senses it!

He’s going to a childminder. We have explained he will only contact nap but I’ve heard that children will often settle differently for different people. So hopefully it should be okay.

Yep we have been co-sleeping since a few days old. It’s brilliant isn’t it! We now side car a cot and he will often roll away from me into it, then roll back when he wants a feed. It’s fine overnight. But if I try feeding him to sleep there for a nap then try to slip away, he soon notices the absence of my presence… and wakes up.

It’ll probably be solved when he goes to the childminder. They wont be able to do this. He will cry with the childminder btw, but it’s not like she’s going to leave him to cry himself to sleep.

He took a dummy from around 3-6 months, but when we changed to the bigger size ones at 6 months, he didn’t like them. But good shout, I could try them again now and see if he would take it now he’s a bit bigger.

We were the same until 11 months

i extended the wake window slightly so they were that little bit more tired in the morning nap - transferring to cot was easier definitely I could almost feel her drop into that deeper sleep and transfer at roughly 20 mins. I was definitely starting naps to early she was tired enough try give it another 15-30 mins see if it helps

akso - consistently trying. Pick one nap and stick to putting them down. If they wake save the nap try again tomorrow

ww still have a huge feed to sleep association so no advice on that

This all worked for me but still even at 14 months have to save the odd one due to teething x