DS 17 months suddenly won't sleep unless we are in the room, I'm broken tips please!

[miniworry]

Just as the title says really- DS had never been a great sleeper and was still waking 1/2 times per night for milk but I could cope with that as it was a milk and back down within 10 mins, but the last 3/4 weeks he is waking more times than I can count on two hands and will only go back to sleep if he's being cuddled or one of us is sitting on the chair in the room. He can be fast asleep on us and then the minute I put him in the cot and walk out the room he will scream again. I even try milk but he doesn't want that.

Husband and I are on our knees as we both
Work demanding jobs and also have a 5 year old DD. Our sleep is so broken and I want to try and do something about it before I go back to school in September (I'm a head teacher).

Any tips more than welcome!

Do you have anything hanging up etc in the room that might be creating a scary shadow ? Or annoying wind chimes in the garden ?

I would just get a mattress on the floor in his room and sleep in with him. At least you will get some sleep. Then you can slowly move the mattress further away till you are out of the room. If he is eating well then you could drop night time milk feeds as he theoretically shouldn't need them at 17 months. Just offer water instead.

He needs to go to sleep how he’s going to stay asleep. As they get older and sleep matures they notice the transition and don’t stay asleep for very long. Which is understandable tbh because imagine if you fell asleep with your partner cuddled up in bed then stirred to find you’d been moved to the sofa and were on your own- I bet you wouldn’t just roll over and go straight back to sleep either! Up to you if you’d rather go down the cosleeping or sleep training routine. But I’d stop cuddling to sleep then attempting to move him into the cot, it’s futile. Compromise option might be putting a bed in his room so you room share but not bed share then hopefully plan to transition away from that once this phase passes. And I’d stop giving milk overnight. If nothing else it’s just bad for teeth although if it’s breastmilk that’s nowhere near as bad as bottles.

This. It's a phase. Just sleep. That's all that matters when you're so tired.

He's probably having some crazy nightmares.

@Bitzee the strange thing is at bedtime he had his night milk, brush teeth and story and then he lies down in his cot asleep and falls asleep by himself absolutely fine! Same with nap times too.. it's just anytime from 10pm that it all goes t*s up and he refuses to sleep for more than 30 minutes without having us in the room.

Co sleeping we have tried but it's a nightmare because he moves so much we just end up getting no sleep and kicked in the head all night!!

Does he maybe need to drop a nap?

@Geneticsbunny he's only down to one nap a day too!

I've added a night light in tonight and also one of those cry activated lullaby toys- I'm desperate

Is he teething? Whenever my son did this he had a tooth coming, and Calpol helped.

I agree with putting a mattress on his floor though, in the meantime. Much more comfortable when you're going to be in there anyway.

I know it probably isn’t practical for you, it wasn’t for me, but with hindsight I wish I’d just gone to bed with DS when he was doing this.

Instead I tried everything for months and months and nothing worked except co-sleeping and he was a wriggler like your DS so even that didn’t get me much more sleep.

My kids were like this so in both my daughter and middle sons case they had normal beds at your son's age and I would just get in and sleep next to them. It was the only way

I hope you’re getting some more sleep now OP. My daughter has never been a good sleeper and at your son’s age I put her cot mattress on the floor of her room and lay next to her till she was asleep. It made a big difference to us.