11 week old - How do you get them down to sleep?!

[LBL1991]

My 11 week old DS takes forever to sleep in the day and before bed. I’m trying to stick to a wake window of MAX 1hr 30/45mins but sometimes he just isn’t having it.

Unfortunately we have had a rough time from birth with colic and screaming every day. We tried dairy free, gavsicon, dentinox, infacol, gripe water and have finally settled on Colief (which seems to be helping). I just feel like he is never happy and it’s starting to take its toll. I’m not wanting to go anywhere for fear of him screaming and us not being able to settle him/get him off to sleep.

He’s formula every 3-4 hours (4-5oz),(previously EBF until 9 weeks, he just didn’t want to feed from me in the end)

I feel like his upset is down to being overtired but I literally have to pace up and down my house with him in my arms for (sometimes) over an hour to get him to sleep. Naps in the day are then short averaging 30-45mins, but we’ll randomly get a 1hr 30min/2hr nap so I know he can do it.

We’ve been trying to get into a bedtime routine of bath, PJs, sleeping bag and cuddle before bed but sometimes he just screams the whole time. The timing will vary based on when he’s due a feed (which sometimes he’ll refuse as he’s crying so much). Once he finally goes down at night he will sleep 3-4 hours and wake for feeds.

How on earth do you get your babies to sleep at this age?! Please send help!

It does sound pretty regimented OP and it doesn’t sound as though either if you are particularly happy

When I had mine I hadn’t heard of Wake Windows and just tried to get them to feed and sleep when they were showing the cues. At around 12 weeks each time they had fallen into their own routine, although DC1 was a nap refuser and a crier and that turned out to be because of Tongue Tie. Would you confident enough to follow their feeding and sleep cues?

One book I would recommend is Babycalming by Caroline Deacon. I read it before having DC2 and really wished I’d read it before having DC1.

Have you read the No Cry Nap Solution too?

social media probably isn’t helping me with the wake window info. We've been trying to look at his cues for both but he doesn’t really seem to do them before the screaming/crying. He’s found his hands in the last two weeks so is constantly putting hands in his mouth, so it’s hard to work out if he’s hungry. For sleeping, I look out for him staring into space, rubbing eyes/yawning but this can be a good few hours and mostly he just starts getting angry or crying before these.

(He had his tongue tie done at 8 days old but is still a “clicker”)

Ah that’s interesting that hes still clicking. Do you think there’s a chance that it has reattached or maybe there’s a further tie that they may have missed?

We thought the same and we a a went to our local feeding team (referred by HV) and she said all ok. We’ve tried a mixture of bottles/tears too (we’ve settled on MAM ones as seems to take these)

Do you know if you saw a Tongue Tie Practitioner?

Do you have a fabric wrap sling OP? This 30 quid piece of kit has been transformative for coping with my colicky little girl. Nothing else works

Have you thought about silent reflux? X

High palate? tends to go with tongue tie and not so easily resolved. Changing feeding positions or some sublingual pressure can help. Clicking indicates a broken seal so will lead to excess air intake.

I basically aggressively rocked both my children to sleep while they screamed at this age, multiple times a day.
Literally used to clamp my son's arms down and just bob and rock til he was asleep.
Anyway he seems fine now.
The good thing about babies is every stage is just a stage - so if its not tongue tie, reflux etc, and just what the baby is like ... hopefully it will be short lived !

We thought the same, We’ve been to the GP a couple of times and given gaviscon but it just made him constipated and didn’t seem to help him. The GP just said we need to ride it out :(

@LBL1991 having a non sleeper is very hard. We had two. In the end things got better when we went with the flow and adapted to their routines rather than vice versa. It's good your baby sleeps.for 3/4 hour stints at night.

The other thing CD to try is swapping formula, maybe to a comfort type fornula?

Do you swaddle and wind properly after every feed? Also if he's used to being held every moment that he's awake, try putting him down.

Op your baby is 11 weeks old, there is no wake windows or sleep schedules at that age and may not be for a while. I remember reading a post here when my then 9month old wasn’t sleeping at all. The poster said stop trying to change your baby but rather your own perspective. It’s a baby, they’re unpredictable and some get great sleepers that’s why they claim their sleep training etc has worked and some get terrible sleepers hence nothing works.

I am not sure what your wider circumstances are but make sure partner is pulling their weight so you get your sleep and respite when they take over. Whenever LO is down take your nap and catch up. As they grow you can start to develop a sleep schedule in line with nursery etc but before that if they are just not adhering don’t stress and just remember this is temporary.

After every feed make sure you prop them up on your chest for a good 20 mins. That helps the milk settle sometime.

I'm sure I've read somewhere after the second yawn put them down to sleep. Don't let it get to the third. I know it seems daft but worth a go. X

He’s never liked being swaddled unfortunately and have tried again but he hates it. We put him down on his play gym/mat every wake window, which he likes and make sure he gets a good kick around, as well as some tummy massage at nappy changes

And you’re feeding to sleep and not trying to keep him awake after feeds a la Baby Whisperer?

He will fall asleep after a feed at night but never falls asleep after a bottle in the day. I’ll burp him and keep him upright for 15mins.

That sounds fine. Some people try to do feed then play and it just seems like a huge struggle