4 year old struggling sleep in own room - Do I get a floor bed for our room?

[Allme501]

Our son is 4 and although he has always had his own room he still isn’t completely settled and never really has been. He is going through another patch of separation anxiety and night waking which means he’s coming in to our room several times a night. I take him back to his room but he says he is scared and misses me. He has a star projector, night lights etc….

The truth is I actually wouldn’t mind him getting in bed with us but I’ve never been able to shared a bed with him because he is such a fidget and flings his arms and legs around (has done since he was a baby) . The upshot is that we are all getting broken sleep and I’m really struggling with it.

I’ve recently thought of getting a travel bed to leave on the floor next to our bed so that if he does wake and come in he can just snuggle down in that. He sleeps really well in one when we share a room in a hotel or when we stay with family so I know it will work but I wondered if this is something anyone else has done?

I’ll still put him to bed in his own room and work on the expectation that that is where he sleeps but he’s only 4 and am I better just to compromise for now with the aim of us all getting more quality sleep?

Do you have anything you could reuse - cot mattress for example? When my daughter was four she had her cot mattress on the floor next to the chair bed where I slept (complicated house move) and it was fine for a few months. The cot mattress was the same size as the toddler bed she was just moving on from and was very comfy.

great idea. you could try rewarding him for staying in his room e.g sticker chart. in the end everyone sleeping is the main aim though

Can you get a trundle bed to go under yours when not in use? They are handy for guests. But yes, get a bed in yours, that's what we did, then everyone gets some sleep.

We are considering doing the same thing for our 3 year old....go with whatever will give you all the most sleep I say.

I would, works well for everyone and he won't be sleeping in it when he's 18. He'll leave when he's ready!

Thanks everyone, I feel reassured. I’ve got one of those blow up travel beds from Argos as they are good for £35. Really hoping it provides the solution I’m looking for as it’s the only really option we have! Wish us luck! Xx

Update for anyone interested: so we’ve had the bed for 2 nights now (picture shows temp bedding from the first night, he has a proper duvet now) and it’s been working great!

My LO came in at 4am the first night and 1:30am the second, within seconds he was fast sleeps in the new bed next to me and slept all the way through until 7:30!

According to the sleep tracker I wear my deep sleep has more than doubled from 1.5 hours to 4 hours (I sleep about 7 hours a night but was being woken up several times which was affecting how deeply I was sleeping).

Anyway, sorry if that all tmi but I’m just so pleased that we appear to have found a solution. I’ll worry about getting him to stay in his own room later, he’s still going down in there so hopefully if he’s more rested and happier he might start sleeping through without realising it but I don’t mind, I actually feeling happier and more settled having him next to me anyway xxx

That's amazing, thanks for the update! Can I ask did he protest at all at not being able to get in with you? We're going to try this with my 3 year old DD, but I can see her kicking off massively and wanting to be in our bed. Maybe at 3 we're less able to reason with her, as your son is that much older?

@Richtea67Hi, no, he didn’t protest at all but then he isn’t used to sleeping in our bed. I would actually love him to seep with me and we have a Superking bed so we have the space but I’ve never been able to do it as he fidgets and hits out, has done ever since he was a baby. The floor bed is the compromise and just being in the same room as us is enough for him. We are a couple of weeks in now and honestly it’s been one of the best decisions we’ve made and we wish we’d have done it before. We are all getting so much more quality sleep. Even if he does wake us up coming in it’s only few a few minutes if that then we are all immediately back to sleep. Some nights we don’t hear him and we wake up in the morning and he’s there. He’s still happily going to sleep in his own room and I’m hoping in time and when he starts school that he might just end up sleeping through in his room but I’m not worried about that. I might even invest in a better quality bed for him for our room, one of those fold up ones as I’d prefer him to sleep in something better. All the best x