My DD is 10 months. She is highly active and started to pull up to walk at 6 months, and could walk without furniture at nearly 8 months. She’s been SO alert and curious since the day she was born. And she knows what she wants. Which is to always have something in her hands, to climb whoever and whatever is in front of her, eat anything she shouldn’t eat and to never be still. She’s only recently (semi) accepted her car seat and her pram. And, most importantly, she wants to always be attached to me.
She has zero chill. And if she’s in a situation she doesn’t like she cries, screams. She can keep it up for HOURS. She can even make herself sick with it. It’s awful and I hate it.
You’d think expending all that energy she’d sleep well. But no. Her naps are 30 minutes. We had a stretch where she’d go to sleep for 2 hours, and go in her cot. I thought we’d cracked it. But then the hot weather came in and she now won’t be transferred into her cot. At all. ‘Drowsy but awake’ is just not for her. She sometimes will be put to sleep by rocking, when she’s exhausted, but mostly she needs to be breastfed.
Because she won’t transfer we’re co-sleeping at night. And I can’t even get her in her cot for the beginning bit of the night like I used to be able to. So her bedtime is now my bedtime.
I’ve monitored and altered wake windows, I watch for signs of tiredness, we’ve had predictability, we’ve altered when she’s fed near sleep times, my husband has tried, her grandparents have tried, we’ve shh-patted, I’ve sat and held her hand. Her room is pitch black, we’ve got constant loud noise, I monitor the temperature. Everything.
At this stage I just want my baby to sleep. It makes everyone’s daytimes so much nicer. Co-sleeping she stirs then goes back to sleep when she feels me 9/10. We have quite a few wake ups for feeding but we both get back to sleep quickly.
I love her but I have no break. I’ve just gone back to work and THAT is my break. She won’t even sleep at nursery unless rocked and held when she’s hit exhaustion, for 20 mins at most. And they’re experts!
This post isn’t for advice, I just wanted to share in case anyone is feeling like I do. I feel like I’ve failed - my husband misses me, I miss time to myself and I feel like I’m not setting her up for success. And it feels like the whole world is against me. I hear ‘she has to learn’ (ie let her cry). My husband gets sad and angry at me that we can’t even have a couple of hours on an evening to simply watch some TV together. Methods are pushed my way that I’ve tried and failed.
I’m so proud of my baby. She’s vivacious, funny, clever, strong and a joy to be around. I know this won’t last forever. One day she’ll sleep all night, in her own bed. But I wish that in the meantime people could be more supportive, which might help me to give myself a break. I would never have picked this, but I’m trying my very best to get through.