If both parents work, how are you managing to get your babies to bed for 7pm?

[fanclubb]

DS is ten months old and will start his night time sleep at around 8:30-9pm. I feel like this is very out of step with what I see on here and what I hear in local mums’ groups, where babies are put down for 7pm.

But, I just don’t see how this is feasible! Once I’m back at work, DH and I will both be home for around 5:30-5:45. We’ll barely have a chance to come in, make and eat dinner, give DS dinner before it’s 7pm! What about spending time with DS, a bit of play and reading time, baths etc. I don’t see how people do it?!

Is 7pm just for if you have a SAHP who can facilitate an earlier bedtime?

Collect nursery 6pm, home 6:15pm straight into bath time (nursery gave a meal at around 4:30), bottle and bed at 7pm. It’s all going to slip if nursery don’t give dinner.

I have 2 under 4. On my working days I plan quick meals. For example leave a batch of bolognese out to defrost so we can eat as soon as the pasta is cooked or we have a stir fry, that kind of thing. I cook from scratch on my non-working days/ over the weekend and make an extra portion for the following week. It saves a lot of time.

Routine:
5:15-5:30 arrive home
5:30-5:45 start eating dinner together
6:00 in the bath
6:20 in pyjamas and stories
6:45 asleep

I see bathtime as our playtime together on these days. Our children are early risers (5am average) and going to bed later does not change the time they wake up so they are very ready for bedtime by 6:30/7. They don't nap anymore which also makes them ready to sleep.

My nieces have a bedtime routine that matches your current one and seem to be fine with it.

Remember that when little ones nap they will generally have a later bedtime. It used to be 7:30-7:45 for us when ours napped in the afternoon and it only moved earlier when they stopped that afternoon nap.

Who's looking after the baby while you work?

If they're in childcare til late, the nursery/childminder/nanny would usually do 'tea' and then you just do milk and maybe a quick 'supper' at home, whether that's toast and a banana or porridge or yesterday's leftovers microwaved.

My DD was fed, bathed, story and put to bed for 7pm and I’d eat after she was asleep. I’d still sit at the table with her but we just couldn’t fit the family meal in.
8:30-9pm is a very late bedtime for an almost 1 year-old (in my opinion, might be fine for others).
It sucked because it felt like I was barely spending time with DD, it was all just rush to get her to bed but if she goes to bed late she’s shattered the next day (she wakes at 06:00-06:30 regardless of what time she goes to bed).

i could never get DD to go to sleep earlier than 8pm so her bedtime ended up being 8pm. She slept though until 7am everyday. My sisters kids were tired and ready for bed at 6pm. All children are different.

Baby fed at nursery. Collected at 6pm. Home for toast, yogurt, banana. Only had bath if needed (no need to do one every night).
In PJs, teeth brushed, quick was at 7pm. Read together until 7.30pm.

We ate together after that.

We are home by 5.45. We have 30 minutes of tv/play and a snack - toast, fruit, biscuit, crackers. Tea is given at nursery at 4pm. Upstairs at 6.15 quick change, flannel wash and teeth clean. Couple of stories in bed just after 6.30 asleep within 15 mins or so.
Bath or shower is done in the morning every other day or sometimes one evening is a bit later to account for it. It’s only three days a week for us so that helps

What I’m really saying is work days aren’t time for quality time and play when you get back late and they’re tired. Enjoy a cuddle whilst they watch tv or read books. Really the aim of the game is bed asap especially as we have an early riser

My kids get tea at nursery but they are absolute fucking gluttons and happily eat a full meal when they get home as well. I think you just adapt what you're doing to whatever your children seem to need - mine also sleep for 11+ hours so they need to be fed quickly and in bed early.

Have an 18 month old, I work 8-5 4 days, husband works 9-6

Had to sacrifice week night family tea, he does morning drop - I do evening pick up. She sleeps 8.00/30-7.30 (not necessarily straight through due to teething/hot weather)

This routine works for us at the moment - approximate times only as we’re not really by the clock people.

5.30 collect her
5.45 home - she watches tv for 15 mins while I do tea. Normally prep any long cook elements ahead. Roasted veg/meats etc.
6.00 tea - sit and chat to her nibble veg
6.20 active play - maybe garden
6.45 bath time
7.00 husband gets home - last wind on running around
7.15 books and cup of milk
7.30 lie down for a cuddle
8.00 asleep
8.15 we get to eat

Main thing I’ve learnt is to be prepared. I want her to eat mostly home cooked whole foods so I batch cook and freeze lots of stuff, I put her towel and pjs next to the bath for the next night before I go to bed, I have a basket with all her outfits for the week ready from Sunday night.

Mine weren’t in bed at 7, I don’t really get this early to bed thing. My left for nursery at 8.15am which a appreciate is later than many others

My nursery don’t do tea / dinner, they do give a hot lunch though.

Me and DS are usually home by 5/5.30. Dad works late 3 x a week so on those days I have something easy with my son as soon as I can have it ready when we get in - batch cooked from freezer, pesto pasta etc. Into bath after dinner and we try and have a nice long play in the bath. In PJ’s, quiet play downstairs & books, milk & then into bed around 7/7.15, asleep anywhere between 7.15 & 7.45 after the usual messing around, dropping the dummy out of the cot and requests for water / cuddles.

He’s usually up by 6 so I have an hours focused play with him in the morning before we get ready for the day, drop off at 8/8.30.

You do what works for you (and your kid, obviously).

DH collects DS (3yrs old) about 5.45pm. Gets home about 6pm. DS will have a picky-plate when he gets home as dinner in nursery is between 3.30pm and 4pm.

I do bath time between 6.30pm and 7pm, while DH sorts dinner for us/washes the dishes. He'll then take over and do bedtime from 7pm. DS will go to sleep anytime between 7.30pm and 9pm. DH and I will have dinner after he's asleep. DS will then be up to start the day anytime between 5.30am and 6.30am.

I knew so many people who "said" they had kids that slept 12 hours straight through from birth and DS was never like that. You just have to stop comparing yourself with other parents and kids, and do what works for you.

This. Either DH or I would pick up by 5.30 and the other one work late.

Tea, play, bath and bed by 7 is doable. If I was working later I'd be home by 6.30, so would see DS for 30 minutes. It doesn't seem to have scarred him for life

We made the most of weekends as a family.

We usually started bedtime around 7ish, and they were in bed for 8ish - dinner was a quick affair (we've always eaten as a family, it's something that's important to us) and then one of us would tidy up while the other would do bath and bed. And repeat.

So glad those days are over!!

If your routine works for you then it's fine, and don't worry about if it's 'normal'. My kids have always been later to bed than many of their peers, and I have had the odd comment (and faux sympathy about my lack of an evening!). I don't care: we're all happy and healthy (and I secretly feel inwardly smug when they then moan about their kids being up at the crack of dawn!)

what I see on here and what I hear in local mums’ groups, where babies are put down for 7pm.

First off that ⬆️ doesn’t matter! You don’t have to do what others do. Do you think every parent has a child in bed for 7pm. Some people’s work schedules don’t allow for that. You do what works best for your family. If you finish giving DC dinner by 7 then spend an hour bathing, playing, reading etc and put to bed 8/8:30 or whenever you want

If your child sleeps 11-12 hours and gets up at 7, then you're going to aiming to get them to sleep 7-8pm.

We’re lucky in that we both work from home and finish at 5pm, I used to work through lunch so I could pick my little boy up from nursery early and get back for 5. We then had some time together and my partner did the bedtime routine (bath, bottle etc) for the last half hour while I made dinner and we’d have it at 7pm when my little one was in bed. I used to be able to prep dinner during the daytime to make it quicker to make which is a massive benefit of being at home. If one or both of us had worked in an office I honestly don’t think it would’ve been feasible at all and we’d have probably ended up having to push his bedtime back

DD was fed at nursery, so we ate once she was in bed. We didn’t manage bed much before 7.30pm though.

I focused on quality time 6-7pm, then she would BF (I BF fed until she was well past 2) and then we got ready for bed. Didn’t bath daily unless she really needed it (her skin was better with less frequent baths).

I worked Tuesday-Friday so made Sat-Mon count as I missed her. She didn’t start nursery until 13 months though and it was Covid so I mostly WFH which helped as not commuting.

Save a bit of dinner for baby’s tea the following day to save cooking once you get home.

It’s different for everyone. We get home from nursery pick up at 6pm… there’s no way my DD would go to bed without a proper tea and sleep through as tea is given at 3:30-4pm in nursery. She’s a big eater and would wake up in the night hungry (trust me, we’ve tried it). So we go for a 9pm bedtime. It works for us. We all eat together and I cook from scratch very simple meals after work or meal prep. You’ll find your way and you don’t need to carry any guilt about what other parents do or don’t do!

Only on a Wednesday? How bizarre.