5 week old staying awake all night

[CustardCreams88]

I'm at my wits end. My 5 week old baby was a good sleeper at night initially. But for about 5 days now they're staying awake all night. I thought it may be the heat but it's cooled down now and it's still an issue. We have a solid bedtime routine - 9pm every night, changed and fed then into the bedside crib in a dark quiet room. Baby goes to sleep immediately. But like clockwork they wake up at 11.30pm and that's it until about 6am when they'll nap for a couple of hours. I do all the right stuff when they wake - nappy change, feed, cuddle and they fall asleep on me. But the minute I put them back in the crib they wake up and scream. Soothing them doesn't help, the only thing that makes them be quiet again is more boob. Then the cycle starts again. I just don't understand why they won't sleep in the crib again when they do it happily for a couple of hours after the initial bedtime routine.

Has anyone else experienced this and have any tips? Google only tells me how to set up the night time routine but not how to deal with a baby who refuses to resettle after waking. I feel like a zombie as I'm up all night and then can barely function all day. TIA to anyone who can help a desperate woman sleep!

Could you try a dummy. Babies have a natural desire to suck, they find it comforting. I was totally against them before my lad was born but he was a very colicy baby and the dummy turned out to be a lifesaver. I weaned him off it as time went on and hasn't caused long term issues

It’s fairly typical for a baby to have a growth spurt at that age. They make sure their milk supply is increased by extra sucking. It’s not always necessary to change a nappy in the night, sometimes it’s better to not disturb them too much.

The good news is, they will sleep more at night and be awake more during the day, whatever you do. You can help this along by playing with them and talking to them during the day and being as boring as possible at night.

Do they wake unsettled or are they becoming unsettled after the 11:30pm feed? It could be wind or reflux which then makes lying on their backs painful - mine both became very uncomfortable from about 3/4 weeks until around 12 weeks in the early hours. We had to hold them for about 20/30 minutes after feeding before we could put them down. Or the routine is no longer working and the 9pm bedtime needs to be brought earlier? Sounds like they’re now very overtired too which won’t help so could you work on trying to increase their sleep by whatever means - holding / pram rocking etc to build up more sleep hours which then might mean they are easier to settle in the crib once less overtired?

Will baby stay asleep if you hold them? At 5 weeks your baby is in the 4th trimester and it’s really common for them to want to be held at this age. Mine first wouldn’t go into a cot at all until she was 12 weeks. We did shifts, so one of us stayed up holding her from 8 to 1 and the other 1 to 6.

I've tried the dummy but she just spits it back out unfortunately. But she definitely does like to suckle for comfort on the boob; I can tell the difference between a feeding suckle and a comfort one.

Don't do a dummy at 5 weeks, you're still establishing supply and this is a big growth spurt.

The only thing you can do at this age to promote night time sleep is make sure they get daylight during the day and it goes dark and quiet, no nightlights or light shows etc, in the evening and night to promote their circadian rhythm

I did read that they transfer a fair amount of milk with 'comfort suckling' but you could try the pantley pullout method which is basically pulling nipple out while holding a finger gently against their lower jaw. Get the boob out, keep holding the finger there why they try to carry on suckling for 20 seconds or so and it calms their sucking reflex and you are free.

Sleep disturbances are a sign of growth spurts and these happen every few weeks. Things started to improve slightly (for me) around 5 months, but then growth spurts and illness will cause sleepless nights again. Gets easier once they’re 1 year old.

She only becomes unsettled when I put her back in the crib, at which point she's initially asleep. She does have a wind/reflux issue (she's been to the doctors about it before, who just said "it's normal in some babies" and didn't offer any solutions) and I already do the 20 minutes of upright holding after the feed. I've also tried infacol but it doesn't seem to make a difference.

She does generally fall asleep after a night feed, but as soon as I put her down, that's when the tears start, and when I pick her up, she'll immediately start rooting again. Earlier I tried to ignore the rooting (as she'd already fed for ages) and tried to soothe her through rocking and walking around the house, but she just screamed until the boob came out again.

Perhaps it's just a long period of cluster feeding that I just need to ride out during the latest growth spurt, but I'm becoming increasingly terrified of falling asleep with her feeding or on when she's asleep on my chest as I'm getting so so exhausted. The other issue is that during the day she won't sleep in her crib either, so it's not like I can even nap when she does. All daytime naps are contact naps; bedtime is the only time she'll go to sleep in the crib but it's for such a narrow window.

I may reassess the bedtime tonight and see if bringing it forward helps.

My baby was the same around this age, unfortunately she just started sleeping earlier gradually, 4am then 3 then 2 etc

I think a bedtime routine at this point is largely useless for a breastfed baby. They like to feed when they feel like. Two things to try. One is white noise at night. The second is actually keep her up later and cluster feed / sit and watch TV till about 10/11 with her on the boob. Just keep waking her, swapping sides etc. Then go up to bed together, I used to get a 4 /5 hr sleep out of mine by doing this.

What are they like during the day? I remember DC1 completely mixed up day & night for about two weeks as it was hellish. I think we just did our best to keep it calm, quiet & dark at night time (keeping it dark is much easier with an autumn baby!) and more interesting during the day. As she was DC1, I was able to go semi nocturnal myself. I remember DH would get up about 6ish, make me breakfast which I’d eat in bed whilst feeding DD yet again, then he’d settle her whilst I crashed out. If I was lucky, she’d nap until 9.00/9.30 when I’d make a big song & dance about it being morning & go downstairs, fed her, have another breakfast myself, go out in the garden with her for a few minutes regardless of the weather, then put her in the bouncy chair for a bit whilst I showered. I would try & get out with her during the day for my own sanity as much as anything but was so exhausted that the sofa & box sets often won! When DH got home about 6.30, he’d take over if he could but DD was often cluster feeding by then so I’d be stuck on the sofa feeding whilst he’d cook dinner, tidy up & so on and take DD whenever she did pause. By 9ish, she’d normally have finished feeding so I’d go to bed and try and get a couple of hours sleep before she woke anytime between 11pm & midnight. When she did wake then, DH was in charge initially of changing her etc before I fed her. And then the night of fun would begin again.
What did help us was that DD was mesmerised by her mobile which was on a 20 minute time and remote control. It couldn’t attach to her moses basket but we rigged it up somehow and I got very good at dozing in bed and jabbing the play button every 20 mins. It would usually only be on the third cycle that she’d get bored and want more engagement.
Good luck! It does pass.

She does stay asleep when being held. DH leaves for work before 7am though and has a long driving commute, so keeping him up overnight to comfort her isn't ideal as I really don't like the idea of him driving to work exhausted. Also I'm EBF so when it's food she wants it's me who needs to get up. He did take over at 4am to cuddle her after her feed, so I had a couple of hours sleep then, but as soon as he put her in her crib so he could shower, she cried and woke me up. She's been fed again and is now asleep on me, which means I'll be nap trapped until about 8am - if I dare put her down try to go to the toilet or get breakfast before then, she'll wake up unsettled again!

Have you tried Co sleeping? There’s lots of advice on doing it safely and it may be enough for her to have you close rather than actually contact sleep then you both get some sleep.

Just to add, she's looking so bloody cute asleep on my chest right now, completely angelic and oblivious to the disruption. Whilst I sit here like a frazzled mess 😂 Almost makes me feel guilty for complaining. I love her so much, I just wish she would let me sleep a bit more!

I really want to avoid this to be honest. The next to me crib has a co sleeping attachment though, so I can hook it up to the bed. I'll consider using it when she's a bit bigger, but she's still quite small so she actually sleeps in the moses basket at the moment.

Co- sleeping with breastfeeding saved me from the no sleep.

Having read through your suggestions, I'm going to try some of the following this week:

-Earlier bed time vs later bed time
-Fewer nappy changes in the night
-Shorter feeds/longer burping period
-Busier daytimes (if I can wake myself up enough to get active anyway!)

Thanks mums for your words of wisdom and shared experiences, I didn't expect so many responses given I posted at 3am!

Haha 3am is peak traffic time for other mums of little babies! So solidarity.

Just to add on moses baskets, I had to move mine at around 5 weeks from that into the next to me as they’d touch the sides with their arms and basically immediately wake themselves up - similar to you the first night stretch would be fine, but they wouldn’t last for naps or middle of the night sleep. So if that could be the issue for you, consider the next to me earlier than planned?

My little one is now 21months but the only thing that worked to get him to settle not on me when tiny was a love to dream arms up swaddle. They are pricy but it worked. You have to stop using it when they can roll but it may mean you can put baby down for the next few months. We ended up co sleeping when he was 7 months and still do now but he has an extremely sensitive temperament.

Theres a couple of instagram accounts that may be helpful to read/follow. Lucy Webber Feeding Support and Second Star to the Right Sleep

Yeah babies hate cribs. Co-sleep. Do it safely, which means having to wear a onesie at night in the winter but honestly everyone sleeps. It won't effect transition to a room when they're older.

The good thing about babies is that nothing ever lasts that long. Whether there's a solution or it'll just pass, the likelihood of that this will probably last for days or weeks rather than months. It seems like forever, I know!

People lie when it comes to baby sleep. They lie when they suggest it's linear, going from bad to good, whereas it's often all over the place for the first few years.

I saw via a FB memories thing of how well my 8 year old slept at a month old. Her sleep is worse now! In that first couple of years she'd done everything from sleeping through to being awake all night, many times.

So I've got no real advice apart from trying to roll with the punches and get sleep when and how you can.

I hope you get a break soon