5 month old still waking 6-12 times a night

[stefanir]

My son's just turned 5 months and has always been a terrible sleeper. Coming up to 3 months we saw glimmers of hope...3 or 4 hour stretches at the start of the night followed by being up every hour or two. He's had 2 or 3 beautiful 6 hour stretches, so I know he can do it. We had maybe a few weeks of looking like it was getting better then one night we had 9 wake ups and it's remained that way ever since, up to about 12 wake ups. I discovered a gliding bassinet put him to sleep (he'd mainly been feeding to sleep up to that point) and unfortunately now I think he's reliant on it every time he exits a sleep cycle. Every night he'll wake up fussing until I rock him back to sleep (2-3 times he'll cry which means he wants fed at which point I change him, feed him back to sleepy then rock). Even during the day he'll only sleep in his pram being rocked. His naps are generally 30 minutes and he usually wakes for the last time around 6am so he still needs 5 of them (sometimes 6!) to get through the day. I'm beyond exhausted and I'm breastfeeding so there's a limit to how much my partner can help. I've tried following Huckleberry wake windows and to be honest they seemed quite accurate and he'll normally sleep within ten minutes of the app's suggestion, but it doesn't help nighttime. I'm careful to check his temperature and adjust clothing, we have blackout blinds, he doesn't tend to dirty his nappy at night (and when he does it's very loud so I always notice and change him!!), and we have white noise on so I think I'm making him as comfortable as possible. He's also a pretty happy baby during the day so seems to be managing okay but on the worst nights he gets 7 cumulative hours despite being in bed around 12.

I know there's no magical trick but I suppose what I'm asking is this normal? Did anyone else's baby struggle as much as this and did anything help? I never expected my baby to sleep through the night but honestly I dream of him only waking 6 times at this point. I barely see my husband because I get so little sleep I have to go to bed with the baby still. Any ideas would be amazing! I'm not for the crying methods of sleep training but perhaps gentler methods.

this sounds totally normal to me, some babies just don’t sleep well for several years. My first was like this and I didn’t get a full nights sleep for nearly 2 years, now they sleep in every morning until I wake them up.
my second has slept through the night since they were a few days old, I thought there was something wrong for the first few weeks as I was expecting it to be as bad as my first. nothing different I did in routine or parenting, just how each individual child sleeps.
I found the beyond sleep training group on Facebook really helpful to understand what I should expect for normal baby and child sleep, I don’t agree with or follow any sleep training and found them really helpful to accept and understand why my little one was waking so much through the night.

Thank you! I suppose I'm clouded by all my Instagram feed full of babies sleeping well at much younger ages than mine, and I get worried when I count up that he's had 9-12 hours sleep in every 24 when every website tells me he needs more. He is a happy contented baby all day and he's meeting all his milestones so I need to count my blessings and maybe just accept he's not got particularly high sleep needs. I'm just exhausted! We're planning on moving to formula at around 8 months so we're in a rhythm before he goes to nursery at 10 so at least I can then do shifts with my husband!

It won’t help, but all my three children woke this frequently. I think at 5 months this is completely normal.

I wouldn’t change him at night, I would also try and avoid just rocking him. I would breastfeed him back to sleep every time.

Probably hungry & ready for something more substantial than just milk.

Unfortunately sounds normal to me!! My oldest was a wonder baby who slept through from 6 weeks but my youngest who is 8 months wakes up frequently like this and always has done. Occasionally we get a good night, I think she’s just a very tactile child who likes that contact with me (she loves to be held while she sleeps!). It won’t last forever, we are embracing co sleeping for now as it works really well for us and I’m not interested in sleep training as I think for my DD it’s not going to be right for her. Have a look at lyndsey Hookway on instagram, she’s a nurse and sleep specialist and I find her content really helpful and reassuring!

Hang in there, sounds like you’re doing a wonderful job. You got this!

Are you breastfeeding him at every wake? Sorry it wasn't clear to me.

It sounds normal to me - exhausting, sure! But normal. Babies all sleep differently. Do they have a dummy, if not you could try that if you wanted? My DC1 and DC2 had dummies and they both slept better than my DC3 who wouldn't have one much to our displeasure! I think there is a link between the two, anecdotally I see it amongst my friends too.

The nap situation will definitely improve on its own in time pretty soon though, like before they are 1, I can pretty much promise you that. As they start to need less daytime sleep, it makes that much easier even if they're still not keen on long naps. DC1 was napping much better and in a vague general nap routine around the 11 month mark, DC2 around 9 months and DC3 around 8 months.

Thank you! No, he's only hungry 2 or 3 times and when he is he wakes up crying. Other times he wakes up just babbling a little and needing settled. I should try a dummy again actually, he used to just spit it out but it's been a while since we tried.

Ah ok, I get you. Personally I'd get your DH to do some of those settling wake ups then when he's not hungry so you can get some rest. My youngest usually wants milk when he wakes up but DH does about 3 night feeds a week with a bottle (only recently as he wouldn't take it before then!), he will also try resettle if it's only been a short time since he was fed, or settle if I've breastfed him and he's still not asleep. I definitely couldn't cope doing it all on my own. This is our third baby and he's always helped with the nights. He also sometimes has to go to one or both of the older children during the night too.

I think unfortunately other than that there's not much you can do but ride it out really! I'm sure it will improve with time but I know that's no help when you're in it!