Almost 3 year old’s sleep schedule all over the place!

[OverthinkingToddlerParent]

My nearly 3 year old has always been a late sleeper. But he tends to sleep straight 12 hours without waking up if we let him. On weekdays he goes to the childminder and has to be woken up by 7:30 AM. He comes home at around 2 and naps for 2 hours or more if we don’t wake him ( but I generally do wake him in an hour or hour and a half). The problem is, he then doesn’t sleep till 10-11 PM no matter what we do. He just lies awake in his bed, chatting away or playing with his teddy or anything else but sleeping. There have been times when he’s been awake until midnight and me and DH are at our wits’ end about his sleep schedule. If I don’t let him nap in the afternoon he’s tired and cranky by 5 PM and when he naps it’s so difficult to wake him within an hour, and sleeps anywhere on the floor when I bring him out of his room. I don’t get any time for myself or us as a couple as he’s awake till we are. Anyone else’s toddler a terrible sleeper? Need suggestions on how to sort out his sleep schedule. Thanks in advance xx

How about only letting him nap for an hour in the afternoons?
Wake him up when an hour is up.

We are the same. We have tried everything. Ds is 2 and a half. If he dosent nap he's asleep in his dinner or so cranky that he's up and down half the night. We have a night routine and everything. If we could just get him to sleep at 8pm I'd even take a 6am wake up. He's currently 10pm till about 8-9am.

Can your childminder get him down for a nap earlier? My 2 year old is like this if her nap is any later than 1pm but she's grumpy as hell if she doesn't get her nap so I try to get her down before 1 and if she doesn't go down then I prepare myself for the ensuing anger and tantrums and try my best to keep her awake until she gets her dinner at least then put her straight to bed.

Stop letting him nap for so long, or at all. Even if he’s tetchy at first it will get him into a better sleeping pattern. If he falls asleep during dinner like @Dairymilkismingingthen give him his dinner earlier and play with him/distract him till bedtime.

worth seeing if a specialist doctor will give him melatonin short term to sort his sleeping pattern out.

I would drop the nap. Let him have a rest when he comes home, watch TV for a while or listen to stories on Google.. he might be cranky for a while but his body will adjust. Either that or bring the nap back to 12 or 1 but putting him down at 2 is way too late, even for a much younger child 2 is when you'd want them to be waking..

When mine were that age, and at the awake till midnight stage, I’d drop the nap then put them to bed at 6 . You may find that after a couple of weeks he can go till 7, with prep from 6.15.

Ah, I managed to miss that he naps from 2pm till 4pm. That's too long and far too late IMO @OverthinkingToddlerParent

I found with all of mine that they had to finish naps by 2.40 or thereabouts.

Napping as late as 4pm was invariably a disaster.

You need to let him have a much shorter nap. Good luck!

We e had this with my daughter, we made sure it was an early nap, awake by 12:30 and capped it to half an hour. This brought bedtime to 8:30. We’ve just dropped the nap as she was taking an hour or more to sleep again. She’s been cranky, but worth it for a 7pm bedtime. She may have a catch up nap once or twice a week, but we cap it to 30 mins. It’s hard though to power through the tantrums!

The problem is the childminder puts everyone down for a nap at 1:30 and that’s time for him to leave, so he doesn’t nap before 2. But I guess I’ll have to try and keep him awake for a day or two just to see how early he settles down for the night. I try waking him up by 3 but he’s such a stubborn (and understandably tired) little thing he’ll go back to sleep anywhere I put him 😖. I guess I’ll just have to keep persisting. Reading all the comments and experiences makes me feel heard and reassured I am not the only one with a nocturnal toddler 🤷‍♀️ Thank you so much all xx

You could put him down at 2pm but wake him at 2.40pm.

You'll have to work hard to stop him falling asleep again. A cold flannel, pressed lightly on his face might work. Not dripping, of course.

Could you pick him up from child minders a bit later?

It’s very easy, stop the nap. If he doesn’t go to sleep until 10pm or later then he doesn’t need the nap.
3 is quite old to be napping for an hour or two regularly.

At nearly 3 with a 10-11pm bedtime it’s definitely time to just go cold turkey on the nap. He’ll be cranky for a few nights but it’ll soon stop. I barely know any 3 year olds that nap and, the ones that do, it’s half an hour in the car a couple of times a week at most.

You should also have a consistent morning start. So if he needs to be up at 7:30am for the childminders I’d wake him at 7:30am 7 days per week. Be warned though, with a bedtime that’s say 7:30-8:15pm I suspect his morning wake up time will creep earlier.

This is a standard amount of sleep for a 2.5 year old. In fact, 10.5 hours at night plus a 1-2h nap (so say average of 12 hours sleep in 24) is bang on normal.

If you want an earlier bedtime you need to consistently wake him a lot earlier. 9am is one of the latest I’ve ever heard a toddler sleeping in to. While he’s adjusting give him a short nap. So if you wake him at 7am, give him a hour max 12:30-1:30 then bedtime at 8pm. If 8pm is still a struggle, shave the nap shorter. Yes he’ll be cranky but he’ll survive and it won’t be forever. Then when he’s more settled in the routine the nap will start to disappear on its own.

Cut the nap or let him have half an hour at most at 12.

Your childminder sounds ridiculously inflexible, that would seriously put me off, especially as 1:30 is really late for most toddlers.