4 month regression

[Tiredzzzzz]

I’ve been going through the 4 month sleep regression for the last 4 weeks.

For the first 3 months baby (now 4.5 months) slept well - a 5-7.5 hour stretch, followed by a feed, then 2-3 hour stretch, feed, then 1-2 hour stretch.

The last 4 weeks have had 2 nights similar to above, c10 nights with a 1am and 4am wake up (fine) and the rest have been complete carnage with hourly, or more frequent, wake-ups. Baby is EBF.

We rock to sleep at bedtime and generally takes 5-10 mins to get baby to sleep in crib. Daytime naps similar - 4 a day after each 1.5 hour wake window.

I know the theory behind the 4 month sleep regression. I know I probably need to get baby to self settle in crib at bedtime. Is this this only way out?

I’ve read lots and lots of threads on this and I am nervous that so many say things like “the 4 month regression lasted until 7 months / 9 months / 1 year / 3 years / 5 years…”

The thoughts of hourly wake ups for this long terrifies me!

I really need to hear some success stories of people saying it lasted a few weeks and, if it did, how did you get it to end? Did you have to sleep train?

Im just coming up to this with my second and I'll be honest I'm nervous. My first was a horrific sleeper right through, was nearly 3 before he started sleeping through.

The way we got through it was co sleeping. Lullaby trust has great resources on how to do it safely and it saved me. I could doze, cuddle and feed (also ebf) and get rest. I also felt safer for me as I could feel him breathing which I liked.

However, not for everyone and I do know someone who sleep trained gently with great success. I know it's controversial but really worked for her. I don't have much experience but hopefully someone with more knowledge will come along.

Would you try co sleeping?

Thank you for replying. I’m really not keen on cosleeping - I have put him in my bed a couple of times and I followed the advice about clearing the pillows and duvet away and gave him his own space but I couldn’t really sleep as I was so conscious of squashing him, or my husband rolling onto him.

(I often wake up now panicking I’ve squashed him and then see him in his crib!)

I co slept with my little boy but around the 4 month sleep regression he still woke every 40 minutes. I can’t remember exactly how long it lasted but must’ve been 1-2 months of it. I used to feed him to sleep and like you read all the advice about self settling and was so stressed about it all but in the end it just stopped without me changing anything at all. The sleep stretched just got longer again.

You have my sympathy though because it is rough 😵‍💫 hope you get through it soon!

I kicked my husband into the spare room lol totally get not wanting to share with a baby and a husband (especially in the heat). Do you have a next to me crib? You can pull the baby into feed and pat them back to sleep but they aren't in the bed.

Apart from co sleeping I never found something that worked but it does pass. In the daytime let everything go to pot and take naps wherever you can. Good luck!!

@Tommymummyft it’s reassuring that it just stopped for you without you having to change anything. I’m stressed about the thought of sleep training, and stressed about the thought of not doing it!

@Cocomelonhauntsme I have a next to me crib but not one of the ones that connects to the bed. He (touch wood) goes back into it relatively quickly, especially if I feed him to sleep (probably a bad habit which isn’t helping with all the wake ups - although I resist feeding him if the previous feed was less than 2.5 hours ago).

lasted a few weeks and back to normal. Didn’t do anything it just went back to normal one day (thank goodness!) although I didn’t find it to hard as he woke EVERY half an hour until he was 6 weeks old so every hour for a few weeks was nothing for me..sending solidarity because sleep deprivation is another level.

My little boy is 18 months now and I didn’t sleep train at all. We have the occasional bad night so I share with him again those nights but he also sleeps in his cot!
obviously every babies different but incase it hells with the stress!

I have 2.
my 7 month old actually didn’t go through a solid ‘4 month sleep regression’. It wasn’t noticeable.
I only notice he’s unsettled when I am assuming his teeth hurt. Those have been our bad nights, when he’s awake for ages.
Usually he sleeps pretty much straight overnight!
my other son however was a terrible sleeper without me being nearby. Again no noticeable ‘4 month sleep regression’, he was just awful. lol. Even at nearly 4, he wakes regularly and comes into me.

every child is different so don’t read the horror stories! Try a little Calpol Incase something else is bothering them and you’re assuming it’s the regression. Xx

Remember you only hear thr worst stories! I don't recall the details of DS going through it as it wasn't too bad.

I know all of the advice says don't let them feed to sleep but I fed my DS to sleep for 3 years and he coped brilliantly when I decided to wean him off. It's a superpower that is a shame to go wasted, so as great as it is that you've been rocking to sleep (I mean it, hope that doesn't sounds sarcastic!), if the 4 month regression hits hard just feed baby each time and hopefully they'll get eight back to sleep. They should adjust in their own time.

I have a 12 week old with a similar sleeping pattern to yours, let's just hope that because they already know they're days from night it won't be too bad!!

As someone who rocked their DC to sleep for far too long...I would urge you to try and find a way of gently encouraging baby to go to sleep without rocking.

You could rock until drowsy and then place into the crib and use your touch to settle to sleep (place a hand on their chest or similar), and go from there. I only say this because it gets harder to rock them to sleep as they get older and heavier, as well as the fact that they need to learn to self settle to help them go back to sleep on their own overnight.

Another one who just rode it out here. It just stopped one day too. I coslept, fed to sleep and didn't change anything tbh.

Now, a number of months later, I still feed to sleep. It works so well for me, I can't see why I wouldn't. And baby frequently sleeps for 10 hour stretch, before then coming into bed with me for a feed and a final few hours sleep, so it's not doing any harm! I'm a big believer in it all falling into place whenever they're developmentally ready.

My little boy is almost 6 months. In terms of the 4 month regression I’d say we had maybe a week/10 days of constant night wakes and then they eventually tapered off. I think a key part of things improving was him finally mastering rolling - he now sleeps on his side most of the time and wakes crying a lot less frequently both at night and during naps. We’re now down to one or two wakes overnight.

I didn’t do any formal sleep training, but here are a couple of things I did do:

• Only intervene if he was properly crying, not if he was just making noises/tossing and turning
• Try to settle him in his cot when he woke without picking him up or feeding him (for up to 30 mins)
• If he woke early and wouldn’t go back to sleep, try everything to power through to his first ‘proper’ nap time rather than giving him an early nap
• Do lots of rolling practice with him during the day

He is EBF and I still feed him to sleep most of the time

Teething or hungry is possible. With bf babies you have no idea how much they get. When my kids were small weaning stated at 3 months and I never heard of sleep regression even within my nursery where I worked.

There is a really good group on Facebook called The Beyond Sleep Training project. They are totally against sleep training but there is loads of advice on there to support sleep.
My son is just 17 months and sleep is still hit and miss but last night he did a solid 10 hours and not a peep. He's fed and rocked to sleep.
We suffered a lot with the 4 month sleep regression and then the 8 month one too!
We've had the same routine since he was 4 months and never move away from it. As they're older and nap less it does balance out a bit.

I think I'm literally just coming out this hell so I fully sympathise - I honestly felt like I might die 😂.

Baby is five months in ten days and last night, woke once for a v quick feed at 2am/5am and slept until half 6 otherwise. Before that, we had a few awful weeks, he went from sleeping through the night to waking up 10 times a night and crying non-stop to the point that we co-slept for a few nights 😬 which I really need wanted to do but I read Hellen Ball's book on sleep and decided if such a renowned academic on SIDS did it then I could face doing it for a few days.

Don't think we really did anything, I did ditch his regular naps in favour of letting him sleep in the day whenever he wanted rather than the five hours a day he was getting as I think that was a bit much, so probably dropped to 4ish hours. Otherwise just tried to survive.

Thank you all for taking the time to reply - there are some good suggestions here and I’ll give them a go. I do need to stop the rocking to sleep as he’s getting heavy and is quite long/tall so the logistics of rocking him are getting harder!

It’s reassuring that many of you say the 4 month regression passed without really changing anything - I’m really hoping that’s the case for me. Last night was better with only 4 wake ups - I can take that! On two occasions he was awake and just moving around in his cot but not crying and fell back to sleep on his own so I’m hoping he will start doing this more.

It's so fucking hard, I really can't empathise enough, I think I went insane. I found i noticed small improvements that I mostly refused to believe would mean better sleep was on the horizon but I think we're over the worst now. I bloody hope so. Good luck

Oh also one more thing - he was very very hungry during that period. He normally takes 4oz and he was taking close to 8oz

@Bramblecrumb ah that’s interesting and would potentially explain some of the extra feeds he’s been demanding (I’ve been giving) at night.

I had 6 wake ups last night which is better than it has been and I’m feeling much more refreshed his morning! It’s funny how getting 4-5 hours of broken sleep rather than 3 hours suddenly feels like a lay-in!

Hi @Tiredzzzzz how are things going for you? We've been in the 4 month regression for a month now 😓 we bounce baby to sleep. Did you end up doing anything differently? Would love to hear how things are. Hoping they've improved for you!

@MabelFox hmm not what you want to hear but I’m still in the thick of it!

Things got worse for us because baby started waking up as I was transferring him and started to resist going back in the crib. I had some nights where I spent all night trying to get him in the crib.

About a week ago we started getting him to sleep by putting him in the crib wide awake and getting him to sleep in the crib. It’s been partly successful…

To get him to sleep in the crib we do the usual bedtime routine (bath, milk, sleeping bag), then put him in the crib awake and chat to him “it’s sleep time now” “mummy loves you” etc. he then spends about 10 minutes playing with his fingers, the sides of the crib etc. then when he starts looking sleepy I start patting his bum and singing a nursery rhyme on repeat until he falls asleep. It’s taken anywhere from 10 - 45 minutes to get him asleep (I’d say 20 minutes on average) and we’ve done this for bedtime and naps. I’ve been really surprised how quickly he’s adapted - I really expected him to kick off when I put him in the crib but he hasn’t done this - but the process takes some patience!

The good thing is that no longer resists the crib (in fact, he’s cried when I’ve tried rocking him to sleep and then stopped crying when I put him in the crib) and we’ve had a couple of nights where he’s cried for feeds but self-settled at other points.

But, he still often wakes up several times in the night needing me to pat his bum /shush / sing to get back to sleep. My plan was to carry on with what we’re doing but to gradually reduce the amount of ‘help’ I give him to fall asleep as he learns to do this on his own.

Tbh I have no idea if I’m heading in the right direction but I don’t want to do any approaches that lead to him crying for ages, but I do need to find a way to reduce the number of wake ups and I’m hoping this will get us there with a few more weeks.